Sweet Dreams, Young Lovers
by 1991-M-Sable
Summary: A hundred years after the Coralians ceased contact, carving the legend of RxE upon the moon, a new Coralian girl is unearthed by Nerv. What does this organization want with Shinji Ikari, and the other children of fate? SxR. OoC. Lime/Lemon R&R PLEASE!
1. Prologue & Chapter 1 to 6

**Title: **Sweet Dreams, Young Lovers

**Rating:** Mature

**Main Genre:** Romance

**Pairing:** ShinjixRei

**Summary: **(crossover) A hundred years after the Coralians ceased contact of the fifth kind, carving the legend of RxE upon the surface of the moon, a new Coralian girl is unearthed by Nerv. What does this organization want with Shinji Ikari, and the other children of fate? SxR. OoC. Lime Lemon.

**Notes: **My Second Fanfic. An outlet for the lemonade in my head, and an honest attempt at an entertaining story & plot with Lime(s), and eventually Lemon(s). This is a crossover fic, so there will be obvious, but (i think) interesting OoC. PLEASE Read&Review ! Flamers welcome, trolls as well – but beware of Big Billy Goats.

**WARNING:** For non-eva characters, I'll use names from Eureka 7, probably as descendants of your/my favorite E7 characters.

**Disclaimer:** Eureka Seven. Directed by Tomoki Kyoda. Written by Dai Sato. Character Design by Kenichi Yoshida. Animation Production by Bones. Neon Genesis Evangelion. Directed and Written by Hideaki Anno. Character Design by Yoshiyuki Sadamoto. Animation Production by Gainax. I own nothing.

**Key:**

Word = text

"Word" = speech

'_word'_ = thoughts

_word_ = misc. details

**Word **= titles, headings, etc.

- = narrative break, change in scene, etc.

**[A Classified] Prologue**

_Date: 1/01/90/4 [by the Vodarac Calender]_

_Location: Terminal Dogma. Gehirn Headquarters, 2nd branch. Ciudades del Cielo. _

_Experiment: 00LS08SUI_

_Description: Gehirn Lead Scientist, Yui Ikari, authorized attempt to establish contact of the fifth kind with the re-emerged Command Cluster through synchronizing with Artificial Coralian Provisional-type Evangelion Unit-00. _

_Transcript:_

[00:01:53] _Experiment begins_

Tech. 1: Specs green. Establishing link. Eva fully functional.

Tech. 2: Plug inserted. LCL concentration within the acceptable range. Pilot submerged and fully monitored. Awaiting command.

Dr. Akagi: What is a child doing here?

Sv. Fuyutsuki: That is the Commander's child.

Dr. Akagi: Someone needs to tell the Commander that this lab is not his daycare.

Dr. Ikari: Sorry, Naoko. I brought him.

Dr. Akagi: Ah. . .but Yui, this is your experiment.

Dr. Ikari: That is why I brought him. I want Shinji to see the bright future we're creating for him and for all mankind. One where man can truly understand the Scub Coral, and perhaps even each other.

Com. Ikari: The Coralians' collective consciousness allows for the alleviation of fear and worry, and along with them suffering. There is something to learn from the Scub Coral, and perhaps to envy.

Dr. Ikari: –and yet the Scub Coral contacted us. They too believe that man has something to teach them. Dr. Akagi, let's begin.

[00:15:03] _Unit-00 makes contact with the Command Cluster in Central Dogma._

Tech. 1: Unit-00 entering the Zone. Expression: Impossible. The Laws of Physics have broken down!

Dr. Akagi: Be calm, this is all part of the Magi's calculations.

Sv. Fuyutsuki: Are we sure that incomplete system it correct?

Dr. Akagi: The holes in the Magi system were compensated by the calculations of Dr. Ikari and myself. The Commander approved.

Com. Ikari: Yui, can you hear us?

Dr. Ikari: I'm here, Commander. Decrease the concentration of the LCL, and increase plug depth.

Tech. 2: Unit-00 can no longer be monitored. It's rejecting the signal!

Dr. Akagi: Start from sequence 202. Send the signal again!

Tech. 1: It's not accepting the command! Both Unit-00 and the pilot have passed the Zone!

[00:16:22] _Unit-00 and its pilot theoretically enter the Command Cluster._

_[-] Records Lost._

[01:01:43] _Command Cluster ceases activity._

Tech. 1: Trapar interference decreased. Monitors back online, connection with Unit-00 re-established.

Com. Ikari: What is the status of the pilot?

Tech. 2: Negative. Plug cannot be monitored.

Dr. Akagi: Prompt Unit-00's Absolute Trapar Field to map its surroundings. Can we identify any corporeal Coralian presence?

Tech. 1: AT field expanded. Unit-00 is responding.

Com. Ikari: Confirm neural connection with the pilot.

Tech. 2: Neural connection confirmed. Synch ratio at 250%.

Dr. Akagi: Impossible!

Tech. 1: AT field is unable to detect any Coralian presence. The pattern keeps shifting from Orange to Blue.

Sv. Fuyutsuki: Human?

Tech. 1: The Command Cluster is active! The Laws of Physics are altering again!

Tech. 2: Unit-00 has gone berserk! Synch ratio reaching 400%!

Com. Ikari: Yui!

[01:05:00] _Command Cluster stays active for 1246 seconds (20 minutes 46 seconds)_

[1:25:56]_ Unit-00 emerges on this side of the Zone. _

[1:10:07] _Confirmed: Pilot Dr. Yui Ikari has vanished from inside the entry plug._

[-] _Records lost._

[3:58:05] _Humanoid Coralian discovered in the geo-sphere above Terminal Dogma._

Dr. Akagi: My God. . .

Com. Ikari: God is dead. This girl is the priestess not of God, but of the Scub Coral.

Team A Leader: Commander, there is something else in the rock connected with the Scub Coral.

Com. Ikari: She is the successor to the throne.

Team A Leader: Commander, in the rock–

Sv. Fuyutsuki: Take the pictures. Record the data. Compile and Collect. This is no time for petty discovers.

Team A Leader: Sir, Unit-00 is–

Dr. Akagi: Commander Ikari! Supervisor Fuyutsuki! There's an Evangelion embedded in the rock of the Scub Coral!

[4:44:06] _Commander of Gehirn confirms the existence of second, non-man-made Evangelion._

[-] _Records Lost._

[12:45:46] _Humanoid Coralian makes contact with the unearthed Evangelion –Codename: Eva Unit-01._

Dr. Akagi: It's moving. . .the Coralian can synchronize with the Eva without the aid of an Entry Plug.

Sv. Fuyutsuki: Is it possible that the Coralians have sent us an answer?

Dr. Akagi: Professor Fuyutsuki. . .

Sv. Fuyutsuki: We sent the Command Cluster an Artificial Coralian and a pilot, in accordance with the Ageha Project Myth. Is it not in the realm of possibilities that the Scub Coral sent us an Artificial Human and a pilot for it?

Dr. Akagi: Then Unit-01 is human?

Sv. Fuyutsuki: These are questions for the Commander of _Gehirn_. Dammit Ikari, you can't run away now. . .

* * *

**START TODAY**

There was a screeching feedback for a few seconds. "_A state of emergency has been declared for the region. Several Kute-class Coralians have been detected. Proceed to the nearest emergency center to receive further instruction. Repeat. . ."_

Most of the citizen's had already deserted the streets of Ciudades del Cielo_, _the metropolis of The United Vodarac Socialist Republic. Those who remained– the high priests and dedicated layman of the church– weren't likely to head for shelter. So, it would seem, the announcement was meant for one boy.

The phone line automated message: "_All normal lines are out of order due to the state of special emergency._" The boy hung up the phone, looking up and down the deserted street. "Out of order," he heard what sounded like thunder from a far off hill. ". . .I shouldn't have come."

For the 100th time that day, he looked down at the postcard with the picture of a twenty-something, very attractive woman by the name of Misato Katsuragi. The photo was scribbled on, and a large arrow pointed toward the woman's bust.

_Dear Shinji-kun. Because I'll come to meet you, wait for me, please. Attention to here!_

The boy let out a large sigh. "I may not be able to meet her." Once again, he looked up and down the street. "I can't help it. . .I'll go to the shelter."

Just then, something caught his eye. But it couldn't be– it couldn't have been. For a moment, he had seen a girl, or maybe a female phantom. She had blue hair and bright eyes, though he couldn't be sure they were red. She was about his age.

Before he could take account of himself, a blue car pulled up in front at him, hitting the curb at a smooth 40 mpk.

Misato Katsuragi opened the passenger door, "Sorry to have kept you waiting."

* * *

From the monitors in the UN Force office, located inside Nerv HQ, three gentlemen dressed in military uniform wait to view the Kute-class phenomenon, and begin to talk amongst themselves.

"Sir," the female technician began, "the trapar is gathering around its center of gravity."

Another male tech. interjected, "We've got the visual image of the target. I'll transfer it to the main screen."

"It must be 100 years," commented an elderly gentlemen to his sitting companion.

"Certainly," without raising his head, the stoic man, wearing tinted glasses, replied. "Coralians."

"My god," the first military dressed general stood from his seat, "those are anti-body Coralians!"

"Impossible!" The second outraged, "There are thousand–no, maybe hundreds of thousands. The city won't survive the hit."

"Total war! Mobilize all LFO squads!"

"Don't hold back! Smash the target at any cost!" Everyone, save the elderly gentlemen and his companion, watched in horror as the missiles, lasers, and LFOs collided with the anti-body Coralians. Wave after wave destroyed their targets, but there was no end in sight.

"Fools!" the first shouted, "Tell them to pull back the LFOs– at this rate, we'll have none left."

"Such outdated weapons," the sitting gentlemen spoke to the senior, who replied: "–they had little effect 100 years ago. They will do nothing against the Coralians now."

A phone rings, and the final military man, who had remained silent till now, answered. "Yes, sir . . .as previously arranged. Well, Ikari," the man stood as he hung up the phone. "You are in charge of this operation from this moment."

"Yes," Gendo Ikari replied as he stood in attention before the three sub-commanders.

The first sub-com. who had spoken looked down in contempt. "I will admit that are current weapons are insufficient for dealing with the current threat."

The second sub-com. continued, "The LFOs were are trump card, yet none have been unearthed for over fifty years, and there have been no advances made in their design since the Thurston-line died out."

The Commander in Chief interrupted, voicing what they were all thinking, "But are you confident of defeating it?"

"Nerv," Ikari replied, adjusting his glasses, "exists for that purpose." Ikari turned on the spot, and descended down the automized elevator. "Vice Commander Fuyutsuki, I'll leave this to you."

The elderly man nodded, and if speaking to himself said, "There first meeting in three years."

* * *

"Umm... Ms. Kasturagi" The boy had sat in silence for the full hour drive. She had tried to ask about his trip to Ciudades del Cielo, and explained some of the oddities of this new capital in hopes of starting a conversation, but he wasn't biting.

"Yes, Mr. Ikari?"

"Ah," the young Ikari had been caught off guard by her overly formal response. "Well, I was just– hmph. . .do you work for my father?"

"That's right, I'm a special United Federation operative employed by Nerv. You're father is the Commander of Nerv. Don't you know this?"

The boy looked around the outside of the car. They were on some kind of giant escalator that lead underground. "I didn't," he said gruffly.

"You know, you're more serious than I'd thought, despite your cute face."

A little embarrassed, and already upset at being dragged around for an hour, he retorted, "Yeah, well you seem childish yourself...for U.F. officer."

"What was that!" Misato ruffled the boy's hair, who immediately began pushing away.

"C'mon, Ms. Katsuragi–"

The woman stopped, and laughingly cut in, "Call me Misato."

"Ah, right. Mi–umm, Ms. Misato. Me, too. You should call me, Shinji."

"By the way, Shinji," Misato ignored the 'Ms.', "did your father send you an I.D.?"

"Oh, yes. Here it is." Among the papers he held, Misato noticed one that was marked up, crumpled, torn and generally abused. She could only make out five words: two at the top and three at the bottom.

_Ikari Shinji. Come, Ikari Gendo._

"Er, right. Well, start reading this." Misato held out a small book. _TOP SECRET: Welcome to NERV._

"It's about my father's work. . .is that why I was called?" Misato didn't answer. Technically, Shinji wasn't apart of Nerv, yet; she thought he shouldn't be troubled with these things, unless absolutely necessary. "Right, what am I saying? He wouldn't write to me unless he needed me."

"You don't get along with your father, eh?" Misato spoke more to herself than to Shinji, "like me. . ."

Just then, the closed escalator shaft opened to reveal windows overlooking a wide expanse of vegetation and oddly shaped facilities– the most prominent of which was a large pyramid. Shinji was filled with awe.

"That's right, Shinji. This geofront is our secret base, Nerv HQ. It's also the foundation for rebuilding the world that was lost to us, and the fort for the Command Cluster." Shinji was puzzled at these words, and decided to actually read the Nerv Introduction Guide.

* * *

Announcement sounded over the speakers of Nerv HQ: "_Chief Scientist of Project E at Section 1 Technical Department, Dr. Ritsuko Akagi, Dr. Ritsuko Akagi. Please contact Captain Misato Katsuragi at Section 1 of Operation Department immediately."_

A blonde woman emerged from a pool of yellow liquid , filled to the midway point of what might have been an LFO. She had a cold face, but she was not un-beautiful. "Lost again?"

* * *

After a 23 hour train ride from his teacher's house, a five hour wait in the city, and a two hour car ride to the geofront, and another hour's wait wondering Nerc HQ, Shinji Ikari was walking behind two women, who seemed to know each other, on his way to he didn't know what.

"So, how is Unit-01?" Misato asked.

"It is outfitted with B type equipped, and is frozen in cryo-stasis."

"It hasn't functioned without her before. . .will this really work?" Shinji vaguely noticed that Misato looked back at him.

"The possibility of it working is 0.000000001%. We just call it the 09-system."

"So that means it's impossible."

"No," the Doctor firmly objected, "It isn't zero. . .Here we are." The company of three entered a large room. Shinji might have thought it was some kind of warehouse, but it was too dark to see.

The door behind them shut, cutting off the only source of light. "huh, what?" Shinji wasn't really paying attention before, and started panicking. "It's pitch blac–Ah!"

Light went up, and Shinji saw that he was on a metal bridge, to the right of which was a large metal face. "A–a LFO!"

"You won't find this in the manual, Shinji Ikari." Shinji directed his attention to the blonde scientist. "This is the Multi-purpose Humanoid, mechanized machine: Evangelion."

"This is my father's work?"

"That is correct." Shinji Ikari looked up to a windowed room overlooking the hanger, and saw his father for the first time in three years. "Sally."

"Wait! Unit -00 is still in lockdown." A look of comprehension dawned on Misato's face. "You can't mean to activate Unit-01 with Rei! She can't pilot it in her condition!"

"There is no other choice. She will not be alone."

"The synchronization of two pilots in the entry plug has never been tested! We don't even have a second pilot!"

"Incorrect, Captain," the blonde doctor looked at Shinji. "One has just been delivered."

"You're," Misato was both shocked and angry, "serious."

"Shinji Ikari," began Dr. Akagi, "you will pilot Unit-01."

"This is insane! For anyone other than Rei, it would take months–"

"He just has to sit in it. We don't expect any more than that."

"–Father!" Shinji was almost in tears. The gravity of the situation broke through all at one point. He felt as if he might break into a million pieces with each passing moment. "Why did you call me here?"

"It is for the reason your thinking."

"What are saying? I thought you didn't want me? Isn't that true, father. . ." Shinji's voice softened in frustration.

"I called you because I have a use for you."

"Why me?"

"It is impossible for anyone else."

"It's impossible for me!" Why couldn't his father understand? "Why are you saying I can do it?"

"You will be instructed. You will have help."

"I can't. It's impossible, right?"

"If you will, then stop wasting time. Otherwise, go!"

Again, the announcement speaker blared, "The last Kute-class is expanding. Anti-body Coralians entering the capital!"

"They've located us," murmured Gendo.

"Shinji," the Doctor demanded his attention, "we have no time."

Shinji looked to Misato, desperate for someone to understand– to sympathize– to pity him. _'Please. . .'_

"Get in."

"After coming all this way. . ." Shinji held himself, as Misato bent down to look Shinji in the eye.

"Why did you come here, Shinji?" Misato's tone was gentle, but her words hit Shinji like a wall of bricks. "Don't run away: from your father, above all from yourself."

"I understand that! But I can't. . ."

'_Dammit,' _Gendo thought, _'It has to be him.' _

"Fuyutsuki," the Commander ordered, as the V.C. appeared on the screen at his side. "Wake up Rei."

Fuyutsuki looked doubtful. "Can we use her?"

"She's not dead yet." The screen displayed: _Audio Only._ "Rei."

"Yes." Shinji heard the frail voice.

"The spare is useless. You will pilot it alone."

"Yes," the soft voice answered again.

Dr. Akagi immediately took handle of the situation. "Reconfigure Unit-01 for Rei alone!"

'_I knew it,'_ Shinji sulked, _'he doesn't need me after all.'_

Com. Ikari turned off the two-way communication, so that his following words couldn't be heard by anyone other than V.C. Fuyutsuki. "Make sure Rei is brought through the hanger, not straight to the prep. area."

Time passed quickly, as orders were shouted through speakers, and Misato moved from one end of the hanger to the other, always staying near enough to Shinji so that he could see her, but not telling him to leave or move or do anything. No one would tell him what to do. He couldn't move, he couldn't cry, he couldn't–

'_What's that sound?' _Shinji looked up to see a hospital bed being wheeled across the bridge. It was headed towards him, and there was a girl lying on it. She looked vaguely familiar, but they couldn't have possibly met before. She must be: Rei.

"Wait. . ." Shinji meant to speak boldly, but it came out as more of a whimper. "Wait," he said it loud enough for Misato to hear, but no one seem to understand what he meant. "I said WAIT, dammit!" Shinji had stopped the cart carrying Rei, and looked up furiously at his father.

"We don't have time for a child's temper tantrum." Com. Ikari directed the nurses to move one. "Take him away."

"Father! You can't have her pilot! She's hurt."

"It doesn't concern you. Leave!" Shinji was about to comeback when the speaker sounded an alarm.

"Commander," a female voice yelled, "they're dropping an N2 mine!"

"Impatient bastards. Shinji, hold on!" Even as Misato said it, the shock rocked headquarters.

Instinctively, Shinji grabbed onto Rei, who was falling onto the floor as the quake knocked the cart off balance.

"Shinji, no!" A loose beam had dropped from the ceiling and was about to fall on Shinji and Rei. Suddenly, Unit-01 brought its hand up out of the red liquid and placed it over the two bodies, protecting them from the falling beam.

'_What!' _Misato and Ritsuko thought in unison. _'But there's not one controlling it!' _

Shinji had seen what had happened, but was distracted by the shrieks of pain coming from the girl in his arms. He felt something pour from her wounds, and saw his hand as it was bathed in her blood .

'_I mustn't run away, I mustn't run away. I mustn't run away. I mustn't run away. I mustn't run away.'_

"I'll do it!" Unseen by Shinji, the Commander gave a devious smile. "I'll pilot the Eva."

* * *

**Kids Are Alright**

"As of this moment, Captain Katsuragi, as Director of Operations, is in charge. I trust you will handle the situation?"

Misato Katsuragi looked up into her stoic Commander's face with the utmost air of confidence. She saluted, and the Commander left the operations deck. _'I feel sick. Letting his own son come in contact with the Zone, and then running off.'_

"First Lieutenant Ibuki," Dr. Akagi continued to ready the Eva, "give the order to release the restraints on Unit-01."

"Yes, Ma'am." Maya Ibuki was almost as sick as Misato at the thought of sending these two out in the Eve; but years of training– not to mention her devotion to Dr. Akagi– had allowed her to push her conscious into a corner, and allow her fingers to follow simple commands.

"Lieutenant Aoba!" the Captain gave her first command, "Put the Kute-class up on screen."

"Yes, ma'am."

"Hyuga," continued Misato, "how long do we have before the anti-body coralians break through the outer defenses and breach the Geosphere?"

"That is irrelevant," the Vice Commander had just entered the command bridge and spoken loud enough to be heard over Dr. Akagi's rapid instructions.

"Sir," Misato urged, "with all do respect, I am charge with protecting the Command Cl–"

"You are charged with Commanding the operations that serve Nerv's objectives," Fuyutsuki interjected, putting extra emphasis on the next 7 syllables: "Op-er-a-tions-Com-man-der Katsuragi."

"The main objective of this exercise, as you well know Captain," Dr. Akagi clarified, "is for Unit-01 to enter the zone. Th–"

"But if the coralians come in contact with the Command cluster it could awake, and the limit of questions may be breached!" Misato, along with the three Lieutenants, were looking for nods of agreement, or some sign of recognition that Captain Katsuragi was completely in the right.

None came.

"Time is on screen, Commander," Hyuga broke the silence: "00:20:01:85 and counting."

"Right," Misato checked herself. _'An attack on the Command Cluster caused that instance 100 years ago. Officials documents say that the Coralians reappearance would threaten to awake the dormant Command Cluster and thus surpass the Limit of Questions. Is it all lie? And why the hell is it so important for those two kids to enter the Zone together?'_

"Ma'am," demanded Maya of Dr. Akagi, "the pilots are seated within the entry plugs: ready for insertion."

"Fill the plug," ordered Dr. Akagi.

"–First," Misato interjected, "Connect me with the pilots."

"Yes, Ma'am."

"Shinji? Can you hear me?" Shinji Ikari was sitting in the plug with his eyes close. For the past ten minutes he had been separating himself from the reality of what was happening. _'It just has to be this way. There's nothing you can do. Listen. Do what they say. . .I wonder if Father will be watching– What is going to happen. I don't know.'_

"Shinji! Pay attention!"

"Uh, right–Wait, what's happening?" A yellow liquid had begun to fill his plug, and he had to hold his breathe as it filled up above his head.

"You just have to relax," explained Dr. Akagi, "once the LCL fills you lungs it will oxygenate you blood directly."

Shinji allowed himself to breathe in the slimy liquid. "I think I'm gonna be sick."

"Quit Whining!" Misato directed the entry plugs to be inserted into the Eva. Though it could operate perfectly well with a single plug, unlike Unit-00, Unit-01 had been discovered with an archetype design which made it optimal for two pilots in separate plugs. The official NERV documents claimed that the feature had never been intended for use, and that Unit-01 was designed intentionally as a "Test Type".

"What is it now!" A spectra of colors, shapes, and odd images flashed before Shinji's eyes. For a second, his eyes were so strained that he thought he might go blind. Then, just like that, it was over. His surroundings– what was once the metallic casing of the plug– become altered.

For one thing, he could see outside of the Eva. He seemed to see from the perspective of the Eva's eyes, but he couldn't be sure, since it seems that he could see what was behind him as well. But even more startling was the appearance of the blue haired girl, Rei Ayanami, only a few feet away from him. She had the same metal contraption at her arms and feet as he did, but every time he tried to see exactly how she was next to him his eyes became strained. She was so close. So close, he could reach out his hand and tou–

"Shinji," Misato's voice caused Shinji to retract his hand, "keep your hands to your self."

"B-But-t-t, How is she–"

"It's called synchronization," Dr. Akagi began. "Your mind, as well as Rei's, are sychronized with the Eva right now. The higher the synch rate, the better you'll be able to pilot, and see each other. Rei isn't really there, it's a projection created by your mind. And touching such an image could case extreme damage to your psyche."

"Ok," Shinji didn't understand at all.

"Don't worry about it," Dr. Akagi resumed. "All you have to do is move Unit-01 using the controls in front of you. In theory, Rei's thoughts on how to pilot, and what to do, should be translated into the Eva and– through synchronization– into your mind. That way, you shouldn't have a problem with inexperience."

"In theory," Shinji repeated the only two words he paid attention to.

"Well," Dr. Akagi admitted, "This type of synch-theory has never been put into practice. Don't worry, Shinji. . .just let it come naturally."

"Right, then," Misato said before Shinji could lose any more confidence, "Launch the Eva!"

Before the Eva reached ground level, Com. Ikari had returned to the bridge, allowing Captain Katsuragi to stay in control of the operation, while he watched from the tower seat. The Vice Commander at his side: the two men stood in silence as the Captain and Dr. Akagi explained the basic controls of the eva to Shinji.

'_What are you thinking, Ikari?' _The Vice Commander had as much doubt in the operation as Misato.

Meanwhile, Shinji felt his heart racing, and his muscle tense. Even before he had done anything, he felt something in his head. Not a voice, or even a feeling– it was a force. Something, he was sure, would take control of his movements. He would know what to do and how to do it.

Suddenly, the skyline was visible as Unit-01 reached the surface, and Shinji was stunned by the destruction created by the Coralians. But that only captivated him for a moment. His eyes followed the destruction to the horizon and terror gripped him. How could there be so many? And what was that spherical mass they orbited?

"Shinji," Dr. Akagi's voice brought him back, but Shinji could still fear the fear penetrating his senses. "Try walking."

"R-right," he stammered. And just like that, as Shinji knew it would, the force made his limbs move, and with them the Eva began to move forward.

"He's doing it!" exclaimed Misato. As Shinji moved to take his third step, he heard a small voice cry out. He looked to his side, and saw the blue haired pilot cringing in pain. The movement of the Eva had re-opened her wound. What was worse, Shinji lost concentration, and the Eva miss stepped, and stumbled to the ground.

"Trapar increasing," shouted Lieutenant Ibuki. "Anti-body coralians closing in!"

"Shinji, no!" Misato watched helplessly as the coralians swarmed around Unit-01. The force at which the trapar spun through the swirl of the monstrous creatures lifted Unit-01 off the ground. The Eva was being thrown around the coralian swarm like a chew toy.

"Umbilical chord has been cut," Hyuga reported, "Eva has 59 seconds left of power!"

"The armor is taking hits," Lieutenant Aoba continued, but he was cut off by Misato.

"What's the status of the pilots?"

"Synch rate is on the border line, but vitals are within acceptable range," answered Maya.

"The armor will hold," picked up Dr. Akagi, "it was specially designed to withstand the unique nature of the anti-body coralians. Shinji, you need to draw your progressive knife. It should cut through their bodies easily."

There was no answer from either pilot. "Put the entry plug on screen," ordered Misato.

"Cameras damaged," Aoba explained, "we only have audio in Shinji's, but video and audio are functional in Rei's. Putting it on screen." The bridge saw blood muddying the LCL, and saw that Rei's wound at her side was the source. It was only slightly open, but it had been seeping blood for some time, and the Eva's erratic jostling was only doing more damage to her cracked ribs and broken arm.

"Shinji, answer us dammit! You know the controls, pull the switch by the right hand trigger, and draw your knife." The bridge could hear Shinji's grunts of pain, and even a slight whimper in his throat.

"20 seconds of power left!"

"Shinji, do it!"

"What's that?" Dr. Akagi directed everyone's attention to Rei's entry plug. Something was intruding through the wall of the entry plug. It was strange sight to the bridge, but Dr. Akagi soon recognized what was happening. "Shinji, don't!"

"What's going on!" raged Misato.

"Shinji is crossing the ego-barrier, contamination imminent!" Lieutenant Ibuki voice shook with fear.

"Shinji pull back, and follow orders!" Misato watched as the clock continued to decrease from 10 seconds.

"A-ayanami," Shinji's voice trembled, and they could tell that his whole body and soul was overwhelmed. "is. . .hurt."

"You can't help her unless you get out of there!"

"Unit-01 has 3 seconds left of power!" It was too late– many things happened at once. The coralians ceased their swarm, and let the Eva drop over 6 stories to the ground. Unit-01 lost all power and the bridge could no longer see anything going on inside the entry plug. Before the video feed cut out, they saw an insubstantial Shinji entering Rei's entry plug– a flash of light, then nothing.

"Eva has ceased all functions," reported Hyuga. "Coralians have broken through to the last five layers of armor."

Misato's mind was in a panic. She overrode her concern for Shinji, and managed to plan the next move. "Prepare to issue emergency counter measures. Blow the restraints to quadrant 8, we need to retrieve the Eva at all costs."

"Wait!" Maya demanded, "Instruments are coming back online. Unit-01 is reactivating!"

"That's impossible!" Misato looked to the screen and saw Unit-01 come to its feet, as hundreds of anti-body Coralians came rushing back to attack their threat.

"It's happening," the Vice Commander spoke quietly to Ikari.

"As was planned."

"What do you think the old men will do about this?"

"Irrelevant."

"AT field is expanding." The whole bridge was captivated by the screen. "Trapar is gathering around Unit–no, the trapar is being generated by Unit-01!"

"Analyze the Kute-class," Dr. Akagi leaned over Maya's shoulder, "tell me what's happening."

"Data gathering. . ."

On the screen, the bridge watched as waves and waves of anti-body Coralians were torn to shreds, as they collided with the revolving AT field of the Eva.

"Done!" exclaimed Maya. "Kute-class is expanding. The Magi have confirmed: the Zone is opening!"

"Eva's pattern has turned blue!" shouted Hyuga.

"Coralian!" chorused Dr. Akagi and Misato. Suddenly, a burst of rainbow light issued forth from Unit-01 and engulfed the landscape, sky, and coralians.

"Here it is," Fuyutsuki said. "Another Summer of Love."

"Now, Shinji," Ikari said, more to himself than to the Vice Commander, "show me a miracle."

* * *

As Shinji opened his eyes, he felt as if the world had been destroyed and recreated in that moment. He felt that he was laying down in a stiff bed. As he adjusted to the light, his eyes were greeted by a grey-ish white paneled ceiling.

His first conscious thought was unusual regular for someone who had just been through hell. _'Unfamiliar ceiling. . .'_

* * *

**Holidays in the Sun**

In a darkly lit room twelve men, whose countenance can only be seen by the different colored lights emanating from their desks, begin to discuss a serious matter– they all are looking toward the Commander of Nerv, Gendo Ikari.

Their eyes were fixed on this stoic man, but their ears awaited the old man's voice. He was a stout gentlemen; and his eyes, though they were covered by an odd looking vizor, gave the distinct impression that they were seeing through whatever they fixed on. He might, one could imagine, be seeing through all solid matter, either into a righteous reality or bottomless abyss.

"The coming of the coralians. . .it's too abrupt."

Now, the other members knew it was time to begin. The yellow-lighted member began. "It's the same as one hundred years ago– disaster always comes without any notice."

The 'red' member followed. "Though now it seems that our previous investments have not gone to waste."

The 'blue' member interjected, "Things are not resolved yet; if this all doesn't pay off then it will still be a waste."

Again, the 'yellow' member spoke. "That is right. As for the measures taken to deal with the anti-body coralians and the Kute-class, Nerv must take steps to handle the manner in which this information is released."

"You may rest assured," answered Gendo Ikari, "it has already been taken care of."

* * *

Shinji Ikari had been awake for three hours, staring up at the ceiling and trying to remember what had happened. No one had come to visit him. No doctor. No nurse. Not Dr. Akagi, or Ms. Misato, or his Father. He remembered being found in some sort of field. But it was strange. The ground had cratered, and the floor looked like colorful stone. What had happened before that? Was someone with him? The other pilot: Rei Ayanami.

* * *

"That must be acknowledged."

"However," responded the 'green', "Nerv and the Eva: how will you use them Ikari?"

Then the 'yellow', "The costs of repairs for Unit-01 damaged in the first battle. . .if this continues, the country will bankrupt."

"And," battered the 'red', "you have given that 'toy' to your own son."

"Manpower. Time. Money," finished off the 'blue', "How much will go to waste at the hands of your family?"

"Furthermore," observed the 'green', "you refuse to allow us to interrogate either of the pilots."

"No one has returned from the other side of the Zone in the hundred years since this Council has been formed. They may hold some key to the final evolution of man." The 'yellow' was calm and collect on the outside, but, for the first time, his voice betrayed the whole council's deadly seriousness.

* * *

Shinji had slept for nearly 28-hours after being salvaged by Nerv, but Rei Ayanami had passed out from pain– she did not sleep. Even on normal days– at least, as 'normal' a day as she ever had– sleep was something she performed. Like eating, or breathing, it was something necessary for survival. Exhaustion and pain: these are the reasons she slept. She thought, now more than ever, that she preferred the former.

'_I'm still alive.' _She sighed, but caught herself. Once before, she had been close to death, but it was different this time. _'Commander.'_ Her thoughts drifted back to what had happened inside the Zone. _'Ikari.'_

"The Evas are not your only responsibility," re-oriented the 'red', "The Human Instrumentality Project." On the table before the Commander of Nerv, sat the ominous document– the cover of which read:

_Top Secret. Human Instrumentality Project. Top-Level Executive Council._

_17th Interim Report_

_Human Enhancement Committee_

_Fiscal Summary_

"Correct," affirmed the 'yellow', "Under these desperate circumstances, that project may be the only hope mankind has."

"In any case," by his tone, it is clear now that the old man opposite Ikari was the leader of these colored men, "the Angels are not an excuse for the project to fall behind schedule. We may consider readjusting the budget."

"The rest of the meeting does not concern you, Ikari."

"You're presence was...appreciated" All the members disappear into the darkness of the room, seemingly erased from existence– save the Chairman.

"You know, Ikari," concluded the old man, "there can be no going back."

With the disappearance of the lighted desks, one could see Vice Commander Fuyutsuki standing next to the seated Gendo. "I know," said the Commander to the vacated room. "Humanity has no time."

* * *

In the past few hours, Shinji had been checked on once or twice, by both doctors and nurses. They told him that he was in perfect health, but didn't mention a word about what had happened, or what would happen when he was released at 5:00pm. They asked if he had any medically related question. Shinji thought for a moment. He turned to look at the ceiling, and he was reminded of the metallic inside of the entry plug.

Effortlessly, his lips moved, asking: "Is the other pilot alright?"

"Rei?" The nurse confirmed, "She's. . .better." The nurse checked the monitors one more time, and left the room. Shinji was annoyed. The nurse had said those words oddly. What did 'better' mean? Wasn't Ayanami on the brink of death when she was found, but now was she barely stable? Or was she critically hurt before, but had managed to be kept alive– at least for now.

Before he could stew more, Misato entered the room. "Hey Shinji, glad to see you awake!" The woman's cheerful disposition was nauseating. It might have been a refreshing change from all the chaos in his life, but Shinji was still resentful toward the Captain for her part in making him pilot.

"Ms. Misato," Shinji was trying to ask a question, but there were so many other things he wanted to say.

Misato waited for a long while in silence. She owed it to this boy to answer for what she had done. She knew it was necessary– indeed, despite the damage done to the base, to the Evas, and to the pilots, the mission was an unexpected success– but that didn't change the fact that a 15 year old boy had the weight of the world on his shoulders.

"Shinji, you don't have to let it out all at once. I'm sorry to say that you'll be with us for a while. No one can make you stay, but. . .I hope you would. The work we're doing here is for the sake of mankind– no. . .it goes beyond that. I just want you to understand that."

Again, without conflict, a question stood out in his mind. "Is Ayanami alright?"

Misato was surprised, and Shinji had noticed that he had used the girl's name. The familiarity of Misato created an easiness in Shinji that went deeper than he had noticed or intended. Though taken a back, Misato smiled and answered, "Rei is fine. She is actually a lot better now than she was before you two entered the Zone."

"But," Shinji had sat up in the hospital bed, "I saw her. She was hurt and bleeding."

"I know, Shinji, calm down." Misato had walked over to the bed and placed her hands on his shoulders. Shinji was sweating, and hadn't realized till now how upset he had become. "You're not completely well yet. Maybe we should have you stay another day– Ah! But you'll have to attend an assignment meeting tonight. It will be fine. I'll come pick you up in two hours: 5 o'clock, kay?" Misato smiled, and left.

Though he was exhausted, only a few minutes later, Shinji decided he couldn't stay in that room. He felt trapped– crowded– cornered. He knew that there were windows on the other side of the door. He got up and the door opened automatically to let him out. And there, outside the door to his right, Rei Ayanami was looking out the window.

For nearly a minute, Shinji had forgotten himself and continued to stare at Rei, who stared out toward the fields of the geosphere.

"What is it?" Shinji was startled and embarrassed. Rei hadn't turned to face him, but Shinji bowed his head in shame.

"I'm sorry," Shinji said.

"For what?" Shinji realized that her tone wasn't accusing or even curious. She was almost disinterested in his presence, but asked him out of habit– as if her mouth had asked, while her mind was free to wander.

Shinji was sorry for a lot of things, but decided not to answer. Her voice was so soft. He wanted to keep her talking. And it hit him. She wasn't wearing any bandage. Her posture showed that her side was no longer hurt, and even that her arm and ribs had been healed. "You're–uh, you look, without you bandages I mean. . .how did you heal? It's only been a day, right?"

"You don't remember," for the first time, Rei looked at him. Shinji wasn't sure if she was asking a question or not.

"Remember what?" Her eyes were red. Why did that seem so familiar? Her gaze pierced his ego, and Shinji thought he might collapse from exhaustion.

"They will ask you what you remember."

"Ah!" Shinji wanted to make sure, to defend himself. "You mean. . .in the Zone. We both– It happened then? I mean: that was real?"

Shinji shouted the last question, but immediately regretted doing so. Rei began to walk toward him. "I- I'm sor–" She walked right passed Shinji and down the hall. Shinji turned around, and saw his father waiting for Rei. His gaze was fixed on her: Shinji was invisible to both of them.

'_What I remember. . .'_

* * *

"Coralian!" chorused Dr. Akagi and Misato. Suddenly, a burst of rainbow light issued forth from Unit-01 and engulfed the landscape, sky, and coralians.

Inside the entry plug Shinji felt as if he were a fish caught on a hook. His body was being pulled away from the Eva and from Rei. "Ayanami!" Shinji was terrified. His concern for the blue-haired pilot was trumped by his fear of being dragged away alone. He pulled her body tightly to his chest, and for a moment he felt as if the current would usher them the same way.

Suddenly, Rei, whose face showed utter anguish, was being pulled to the right of Shinji, as if they had come to a fork in the current's path. No matter the hook at his chest, as Shinji held on to the other pilot he felt as if his very soul was being torn away from his body.

"Wait, hold on!" It was no use. Rei was in too much pain and her body was limp. Shinji watched as her form disappeared into the multi-colored sea. That was it– his will to hold on to Rei had taken all his strength from him. Normally, Shinji might have passed out; but whatever was happening to him– whatever force had swept him away from reality– it was not allowing him to fall into the oblivion of sleep.

How long he floated in weightlessness, he could never tell. But Shinji now knew that he had never before grasped the concept of a "long time". Time was something we as humans only experience because our bodies age, grow weary, and decay. This is what Shinji felt: the decaying of his body was so intense and prolonged that he thought there must be nothing of it left.

Then, as soon as he resigned himself to his fate, he heard a woman's voice. "What will we name the child?" Her voice was comforting and warm– like a mother's– but he did not recognize it.

"If it's a boy, Shinji," answered the father. Shinji definitely knew that voice– it was one he hated. "If it's a girl, Rei."

"Shinji," considered the mother. "Rei. . .Ikari Shinji. . .Ikari Rei. . .no, Rei. . .Rei Ayanami." Shinji was startled into full consciousness, and he noticed that he was sitting on the seat inside of a public train. Across from him sat a small girl with blue hair. Her head was bowed so Shinji couldn't see her face.

"Did you know?" asked the small girl, "There is so much pain and suffering in the world, and no one understands why."

"I don't know what you mean," responded Shinji. "Of course there is pain. It can't be any other way."

"But why is that?" insisted the girl, "Didn't you know that if you're alone, then you never have to be hurt?"

"Is that the truth?" Shinji considered its words. "But. . .being alone, isn't that also painful?"

Shinji noticed for the first time the presence of a third person. This one was a man, older than him, but not by much. He had brown hair and his forehead seemed to emanate a faint, red light. He was speaking, "–not all. The Scub Coral don't want to be alone: humans are the same. We can't live on our own."

"But neither can they understand one another," shot back the girl. "An exception does not discount the rule."

"He will prove it is not," asserted the boy. "Why are you here?"

The question was directed at Shinji, who said feebly, "I don't know."

"It that the truth?" asked both simultaneously.

"My father needed me."

"You want to be with him. You want to talk with him and forgive him–"

"I can't!" Shinji clenched his fists. "I won't forgive him. He abandoned me! He left me! He doesn't need me now! HE DIDN'T CARE IF I DIED IN THE EVA!"

The boy didn't press the issue, instead asking, "But is that the only reason?" Shinji was too upset to give what he said any thought. "Listen. . ."

Shinji heard something, but the sensation was not at all like hearing. Instead, it was if he was thinking someone else's thoughts. He had felt it before, in the Eva with Ayanami. But what was it saying? It was maddening. He willed himself to 'hear' it.

"_Ikari. . .Ikari. . .Ikari. . .Ikari. . ._" He knew it– "Ayanami!" Shinji noticed that his surroundings had changed. He was standing in the hanger, and the Eva was before him. He looked around and saw an un-bandaged Rei kneeling on the ground, facing Unit-01.

Shinji ran over, but stopped at about three feet from her, but continued to stand. "Ah. . .I heard you calling."

"Because," Rei said after a moment, "it won't work without you."

"Oh, but I. . .don't know what I could do." For some reason Shinji was embarrassed.

"Yes," Rei recognized that her fellow Pilot felt he was incapable, "but Unit-01 will not operate properly without you."

"Oh, so that's what you mean." Shinji wasn't sure what he thought she had meant, but now he was angry and disappointed. "I can't pilot the Eva. I'm not like you, Ayanami– I'm not brave."

"Brave," Rei thought about what the word meant, and what he might mean. "You think I'm brave?"

"I mean that. . .I just can't do it."

"Why?"

"Because. . ." Shinji thought about the conversation he had just had in the 'train', "I have no faith in myself." Shinji had begun to cry. The unfairness of it all hit him once again. He hated what was happening. He hated having to pilot. He hated Misato, and Dr. Akagi, and Nerv. He hated his father.

"Is that all?" He looked up and saw that Rei had stood up, and was now looking directly into his eye. He thought in furious indignation that he might hate Rei the most right now.

How could she consider this a small thing? Didn't she understand how hard is was for him? He was about to yell out at her, when she took a step forward and grabbed his hand.

"If you don't have faith in yourself, then have faith in Unit-01," Rei explained.

"I can't do that either!" Shinji wanted to yell louder, but his mind was fixed on the feeling of Rei's hand. "I don't even know what that thing is," he finished.

"But Unit-01 protected you in the hanger." Shinji remembered how it had sheltered him and Rei from the falling beam. "If you believe in Unit-01, then Eva will believe in me, and I'll believe in you. Do you see how that works?" Rei drew a circle in the air– as if to illustrate how the three supported each other– showing exactly 'how it worked'.

Shinji blushed, but managed to say, "Y-yes."

"Then let's go." At Rei's words the surroundings dissolved, and the next thing Shinji knew he was back in the entry plug. He would pass out as soon as he heard people gathering around the outside, being directed, by what sounded like Ms. Misato, to get the pilots out immediately.

* * *

**Silence Burns**

Just as she had said, Misato came to bring Shinji to his assignment meeting at 5 o'clock. She also brought his clothes, washed and pressed. He dressed slothfully, and tried to convince himself that whatever happened in his life from this point on was out of his hands. If he was going to pilot the Eva, he might as well die doing it. At least then, it would be over.

He was now in an upper room, the floor, ceiling and walls of which seemed to be made of hard glass. Through the glass shone writing and symbols that Shinji did not understand. He could see some way down that the large room's fourth wall was a window looking out toward the geosphere.

"It's decided," announced the suit-clad agent, who was the only other person in the room besides Shinji and Captain Katsuragi.

"Are you really okay with this, Shinji?"

"It's all right, Ms. Misato. I'm used to being alone." Not only was Misato worried, but she wasn't convinced of Shinji's words.

* * *

"Is that everything?" Elsewhere, somewhere deep within Central Dogma, beneath Nerv's main base, the Commander, Dr. Akagi, and Rei Ayanami were speaking. They were surrounded by tanks filled with LCL. Rei, still wet and getting dressed, seemed to have just exited one of these tanks.

"Yes, Commander," answered Dr. Akagi. "The extraction was a success. Thank you, Rei. You can go now."

"Yes," Rei had finished dressing, and began to walk away. She stopped and turned to asked, "Commander. . ."

"Yes, Rei?"

"Do you have to do the same to the Pilot of Unit-01?"

"That is not your concern, Rei," interrupted Dr. Akagi.

"Yes," but Rei did not move.

". . .We could not access his memories in the same manner," answered Commander Ikari. "You know this."

"Yes," Rei still did not move, but she expected no better answer. Her head told her body to move, but it was reluctant to listen.

"Even if we questioned him," the Commander decided to say, though Dr. Akagi didn't see the need, "he would be useless in giving an objective account."

"Yes," Rei's body finally walked out of the room.

"She seems concerned about Shinji," remarked Dr. Akagi. The Commander was silent. "It might become a problem, for both of them. Their psyches are fragile enough; if their synch ratios go down then all this will have been for nothing."

Commander Ikari stood and walked out of the room, stopping at the door to say, "I will see you tonight."

Dr. Akagi fumed on the inside. _'He just assumes I'll come.'_ Just then, her phone rang. It was Misato.

* * *

"_You're going to what!"_ Dr. Akagi couldn't believe her ears.

"That's right, he's going to live with me. I already cleared it with the higher ups. Don't worry, I'm not gonna make a move on a child."

"_Of course you're not– what the hell are you saying!" _

Misato had to pull the phone back from her ear, as the doctor continued to scream from the other end of the phone. "Geez, Ritsuko can't take a joke."

* * *

For the past hour or so, Shinji had been dragged around the city. They were going to head straight home, but Misato decided that they should go to the convenience store and pick up some things for his "welcoming party". Of course, Shinji said that wasn't necessary, but Misato dismissed him. Then, instead of heading home from the store, Misato said that they were going to make a stop. "Some place special," she said.

Finally, the car stopped at a hill overlooking the city. As Shinji looked over the buildings, fire lit by the sunset, a profound sense of isolation hit him. "It's. . .such a lonesome city."

Misato had been staring at her watch, suddenly announcing, "Here we go." Before Shinji's eyes, the city was changing. An alarm sounded and the city came alive.

"Ah! The buildings are growing!"

"This is the fortress city designed for intercepting the Coralians: Ciudades del Cielo, where the gates of Heaven reside. It's the city you protected Shinji, and your connected to it. Do you see the ruins at the edge of the mountains?" He looked, saw it, and nodded. "They call that place the Great Wall. The Vodarac teachings– on which this new nation, The U.V.S. Republic, is founded– say that this place can become destiny's gate for anyone who comes to it with a sincere heart. This is a place where people make a choice. I think you made the right choice to fight, Shinji. . .and I want you to know, that we're all fighting with you."

* * *

Finally, they arrived at Misato's apartment. Outside the door, Shinji's things had been stacked by the way-side. "Oh," Misato was pleased, "It looks like your things have arrived." Misato casually walked through the door, announcing, "I've only just moved here myself, you know?" She turned to see Shinji standing with the groceries at the threshold of the door. "Come in."

"I. . ." Shinji tried to tell himself it wasn't such a big deal, "don't want to intrude."

'_You've always been alone. Just because you live here doesn't mean that anything has changed. One place is the same as another. Nothing will change.'_

"Shinji," Misato's voice was much too caring for Shinji to be comfortable, "this is your home now."

Some thing inside him snapped. Somehow, he realized, things had changed. Before he came to Nerv, he was passing the days. . .waiting to die. It was boring him to death. If nothing else, his father was here. Even if he couldn't do anything, Misato was here too. . .and Ayanami. Maybe, they could be friends. Maybe, things wouldn't be so bad. This could be his home.

"I'm home."

"Welcome home."

* * *

He couldn't believe how much of a slob the Commander of Nerv's Operations was. She had nothing but beer and condiments in her fridge– trash lay everywhere on the ground. They divided chores by Janken– Shinji got the lion's share– and the instant food they had for dinner was disgusting. Ms. Misato said not to be picky, but that didn't change the taste. But more than all that, a penguin had been soaking in the bath– from which hung Misato's underwear. Apparently, his name was Pen Pen, and he was their third roommate.

As Shinji soaked in the bath that night, strange thoughts came to him. As Misato took a bath, she decided to call Ritsuko.

"_Looking after him is your job, isn't it? You are the Captain– and Director of Operations."_

"I'm afraid, we just don't get along."

"_Giving up already? After saying that you would take him in. . ."_

"Give it a rest!" Misato hung up, and spoke to herself. "I guess I was thinking of myself. . .I'm the same as Ritsuko. Although the mission succeeded. . .I don't seem happy."

Misato got out of the bath, got dress, and went to Shinji's door. "Shinji," she said through the closed screen, "can I come in." There was no response, but somehow Misato knew he was awake, so she opened the door.

Shinji was curled up under the covers, but his eyes were open. He had headphones in his ears, but Misato spoke anyways. "You did a good thing today. You should hold your head up high. So cheer up, Shinji. . .and Goodnight."

The door closed, and Shinji wondered at her words. The feeling he had earlier when he entered the apartment had vanished. He knew that it was somewhere deep inside, but the night crowded around him– as if the darkness wanted to hide it from his sight. _'Why am I here?' _

* * *

"Aim. Target in the center. Trigger. Aim. Target in the center. Trigger. Aim. Target in the center. Trigger. Aim. Target in the center. Trigger."

"I'm surprised that Shinji was willing to continue piloting the Eva." Lieutenant Ibuki listened as Shinji repeated the instructions given to him– like a mantra or prayer.

He was running a training simulation for combating Coralians. Like the LFO's, the Eva used the trapar as a power source; but know mechanic has figured out how to outfit them with a board– or any other device that would allow them to lift. Thus, Unit-01 had was at a disadvantage when attacking the anti-body Coralians. Of course, as Dr. Akagi knew, Unit-01 was not primarily as a weapon. It was a vehicle: the only thing capable of going to and coming back from the Zone.

"I think he just does what he is told. . .that's how he's gotten through life," answered Dr. Akagi.

"He won't survive with that attitude," Misato mused to herself.

"So," Ritsuko provoked, "How have you two been?"

"It's like you said," Misato sighed, "An obedient child, almost to a fault." The whole lab watched as Shinji flawlessly destroyed every coralian that came into view. "He transferred two week ago, but it doesn't seem like it matters much to him. No one ever call him."

"What's that?" Ritsuko asked as she checked the synch rates.

"I issued him a cellphone for Nerv emergencies. Though, he doesn't seem to use for anything at all. I'm not sure, but I don't think he has any friends."

"Shinji's not the type to make friends easily," the doctor said matter-of-fact-ly. "Have you heard of the hedgehogs dilemma?"

"Hedgehogs?" Misato wondered, "Like. . .with spikes?"

"Right," Ritsuko began exasperated. "Even when a hedgehog may want to come close to another hedgehog for warmth, the closer they come the more they injure one another. It's the same with humans. The reason he seems so withdrawn is because he is afraid of being hurt."

"He's just going to have to learn that growing up is learning to interact with others."

"It's all about finding that comfortable distance," agreed Ritsuko. "Ok Shinji, your done now. Good work."

Shinji had arrived at school half an hour early. The only two people in the class room were the class representative– Hikari, he thought her name was– and, sitting in the back by the window, was the blue haired pilot.

'_She's just staring out the window. . .just like the other day.'_

"Good Morning," the class rep. said distractedly.

"G-good. . ." Shinji didn't feel like saying anything, and the "morning" was barely audible. He had sat down, took out his things for school, and stared at nothing in particular for the next half hour.

What shook him out this daze was the yell near the door. "Suzuhara!" yelled the class rep., followed by another boy: "Toji!"

'_Why do they have to be so loud?' _Shinji thought. Though he wasn't listening, he heard the three talking about something. Less students– a war– the boy called "Suzuhara" visiting his sister– the other one, Kensuke, being happy about. . .something.

Kensuke was talking. "Speaking of which," Kensuke lowered his voice, "did you hear the rumor about the transfer student?"

"Transfer student?" echoed Toji.

"He transferred here right after the incident: suspicious, don't you think?" Shinji didn't like how this conversation was going, but he convinced himself that it wasn't worth caring about.

The next thing that shook Shinji from his narcoleptic state was the flashing "message" window on the laptop on his desk. He opened it.

"_Is it true that you are the pilot of that robot? Y/N" _

* * *

Shinji looked around the classroom to see who sent the message. He saw two girls laughing to themselves in the corner of the classroom. He saw them type something onto the computer, and in an instant another message was on Shinji's screen.

"_It's true, isn't it?" _

Even if you asked him later, Shinji couldn't honestly tell you why he answered. I think he was lonely: that he remembered being praised by Misato, and wanted to re-experience that feeling. He probably didn't give it much thought at all, but before he answered he did look over at Rei. He might have grabbed onto the excuse: _'They have to know she's a pilot too.'_ What could be the harm?

"_Yes." _

"EEEEHHHHHHHHHH!" The whole class stood up, and crowded around Shinji. He immediately regretted answering. They asked him questions about Eva, Nerv, the Coralians– none of which he could answer. All the while, the class rep. tried to restore order– Kensuke eyed him suspiciously– and Toji looked as if he wanted to murder the entire class.

The bell rang, and the teacher noticed what was happening. He ordered everyone back to their seats. The class rep. demanded: "Stand. Bow. Dismissed!" Shinji left as soon as he could. He saw people waiting for him at the school gate, and decided to lay low for a while. He wound up at the back of the school.

"Hey, new kid!" Shinji turned around and saw the boy named Toji marching toward him. Next thing he knew, he was on the ground.

* * *

**The Sun and the Moon**

He might have been in shock– but maybe that was too dramatic. Really, Shinji just thought that the first punch he ever took would hurt more. Would this boy, Toji, be the first person to ever beat him up? A fight. . .he had never been in–

"Hahaha," Shinji laughed under his breath, as he wiped the blood from his mouth. _'I guess the Eva should count.' _But now Toji was speaking.

"Sorry, new comer, "Toji said as he massaged his knuckles. "You see, I had to hit you to work off my own anger."

As Toji walked away, the other boy bent down to say something to Shinji. "He's just that kinda a guy, ya know? His sister got hurt in that incident with you and your giant robot."

It was unfair. It wasn't up to him. "It's not like I wanted to pilot that stupid thing." Toji turned around, picked Shinji up by his collar and looked him dead in the eye. Shinji couldn't look at him. He hoped he would get hit again. _'This doesn't hurt. It's nothing compared to what I'm feeling.'_

And there it was. He was on the floor. Kensuke and Toji walked away, and Shinji felt like laying on the floor till school ended– till the students trampled him on their way home. After a while, Shinji noticed someone standing above him. It was the blue haired pilot.

"Ayanami. . ."

"There's an emergency," she said. "I'll head in first." And off she went.

"W-Wait up!" Shinji ran after her. He caught up at the school gate, but Rei was still running. "I don't think," Shinji said in panted breaths, "that we have– to run– the whole way." Rei didn't respond, but Shinji noticed that she was slowing down. After five minutes or so, they were walking. Shinji could hardly breathe. He was walking alongside Rei.

He looked over, and for a moment, he was intimidated. The blue haired pilot was walking with no sign of fatigue. Her back was straight and her eyes faced forward. Then Shinji noticed: though her mouth was closed, she was taking deep breathes through her nose. Her chest moved rapidly up and down, and Shinji couldn't stop staring. He realized that he should be embarrassed, but he was mesmerized.

There was something numinous about the movement– a sign of life. Everything in the world was contributing to the life ingested by each breathe she took, and the very existence of Rei Ayanami seemed to Shinji a sign that life itself– however painful– should go on.

They didn't speak the whole way. They were inside the Nerv base, and heard over the speakers: _"Will Shinji Ikari, the pilot of Unit-01, report to the decontamination area. Will Rei Ayanami report to the bridge. Again, will Shinji Ikari, the pilot of Unit-01, report to the decontamination area." _

Rei and Shinji were riding the escalator down to Dogma. "You are going to pilot," Rei said. Why she decided to state the obvious. . .Why did she say anything? Pilot Ikari wouldn't–

"Wa-without you, you mean?" Shinji was horrified, but thought he kept it hidden in his voice well.

"Are you worried?" Rei didn't know why Pilot Ikari was being sent out alone. He had done well last time, but only because she had supported him. _'Because my thoughts on how to pilot supported him,'_ she checked herself internally. However, all this being said, if the Pilot didn't have confidence, he would not make it in the Eva.

"I am," Shinji admitted to himself, more than Ayanami. "But– !' Shinji asserted, "It doesn't matter. I have to do this. Aren't you scared of piloting it, Ayanami?"

"You are Commander Ikari's son, correct?"

"Er-Yes," Shinji answered.

"Don't you have faith in your father's work?"

"Of course not! How could I have faith in a father like him?" Without a word, Rei turned on the spot and slapped him full in the face.

The hit hurt less than Toji's, but her stare– it was the same stare she gave him outside the hospital room. "This is the way to the contamination area," Rei said as she turned around. Shinji realized that Rei had led him to the Eva, and now she was heading up the opposite escalator. _'She's just like Misato and my father. They all push me into piloting it.' _

"But Ayanami," Shinji called after her.

"Yes", she answered. _'She doesn't seem mad,' _Shinji thought.

"You said if I have faith in the Eva, then. . .I mean–"

"Yes," finished Rei for her fellow pilot, "The Commander has faith in you: so I believe in you. Go now, or you will be late." Rei turned around and began to run up the escalators.

'_So that's what it was about,'_ Shinji felt betrayed. But. . .it wasn't all bad, he thought: _'Father believes in me.' _

* * *

Shinji was being loaded into the Eva via entry plug, and on the bridge Misato had taken command. Lieutenant Aoba reported, "Kute-class on screen."

Then Lieutenant Hyuga, "Anti-body coralians in the thousands. Estimated time before they begin attack on the Geosphere: 57 minutes approx."

"2 hours 30 minutes: estimated time till they breach the Geosphere."

"How long will it take to launch the Eva?" Misato co-ordinated.

"Eva will launch in 15 minutes," responded Lieutenant Maya.

"Connect me with the Pilot. You there, Shinji?"

"Yes," whispered a dead voice from the other end of the com. link.

"Alright, listen up people," began Misato. "Our top priority is protecting the Geosphere. Damage to Ciudades del Cielo and its citizens is secondary."

"The issue to evacuate is complete, and the intelligence department estimates that 90% of the populace have either fled the city or entered the designated emergency shelters," commented Dr. Akagi.

"Only 90%?" asked Shinji absent minded.

"It's alright, Shinji," assured Misato. "That's better than we hoped. The Vodarac priests and some layman never evacuate. They believe the Kute-class to be a manifestation of the divine being. But like I said, don't worry about it. Concentrate on eliminating the enemy; and remember, your gun and knife may be your primary weapons, but your AT field is what you should focus you energy on. It is not only a defensive weapon."

"Yes, ma'am," responded Shinji. All sorts of thoughts rushed through Shinji's head. He knew he wouldn't be able to pilot without Ayanami's help. He thought it just as well to die today, as anytime in the future. On the other hand, his father was watching. She had said that his father had faith in him. Maybe, he would succeed. Maybe, he would save the city, like Misato said he had before.

"Shinji!" screamed Misato. She had obviously said something to him, and Shinji was too deep in thought to notice. "Pay attention, dammit. Your survival, and the survival of Nerv, depends on this!"

* * *

Inside the Ciudades del Cielo emergency shelter, Shinji's classmates had gathered. Most of the families had moved away after the first attack, so that Shinji's class encompassed the entire 1st year of their high school. Most were having a descent time in the shelter, talking and playing games as if they were on a school trip. Some were afraid or panicked, but they were quiet and didn't cause any trouble. Others were apathetic, but only one student was excited.

"Oh, man," Kensuke complained, "there's no video at all. I can't believe we're missing the greatest event of the century.

"You must be the only high school student who is actually glad those monsters are attacking." Toji was of the apathetic group. He tried not to think about what was going on– it would only make him angrier.

"Hey," Kensuke whispered to Toji. "We gotta talk, you know?"

"So talk," Toji was barely listening.

"Not here, c'mon."

"Alright. Hey, class rep." Toji and Kensuke both walked over to Hikari, who was talking to another girl in their class. "We gotta go take a leak."

"Hmph," Hikari looked offended at his crudeness. "You should have done that before we left. Well, go on then."

In the bathroom, Toji figured while he was there he might as well get some business done. Kensuke, however, was too excited. "I gotta see it man. . .just once before I die."

"You crazy?" Toji said. "You actually wanna go out there?"

"C'mon," Kensuke pleaded. "Think about it. You'll never get a chance like this again. You can't let me go out there alone!"

"Alright, alright," conceded Toji, "Damn, you're pushy."

* * *

"Do you think it was wise to send an untested pilot out into that madness?" Gendo Ikari did not bother responding to the Vice Commander's concerns. "On top of that, he is your son, and the key to Nerv's objective."

"It is necessary," explained Ikari, "to test the hypothesis set forth in the Ageha Project Myth."

"The synchronization of the two pilots," Fuyutsuki commented to himself. "Such a gamble borders on foolishness."

The operation was ready. Shinji sat in the Eva, as Misato commanded: "Launch!"

In a few seconds, Shinji once again looked out across the landscape of Ciudades del Cielo and saw it filled with anti-body coralians. "Remember Shinji," Misato advised. "They'll only detect you when you spread your AT field. Take a moment, and breathe. There's no going back now. Are you ready?"

Shinji didn't have to think, "Yes. AT field to maximum!" The Eva extended its AT field, and coralians swarmed. Shinji aimed, centered the targets, and pulled the trigger. Coralians fell left and right, but there seemed to be no end to them. Soon all Shinji saw was a cloud of gunfire smoke in front of him.

"Idiot!" Misato yelled, "Your blocking you vision, pull back!" It was too late. Out of the dust cloud Coralians had appeared like a battering ram. They made contact with the AT field, and though it didn't break Shinji was sent flying back. He landed on the side of the hill, as the Coralians regrouped.

"Unit-01 sustained minor damage," came from Hyuga.

"Pilot's vitals are normal, but the umbilical chord had been cut: 2 minutes 50 seconds left of power."

Misato's mind worked quickly. "Right. Fire anti-air missiles to create a distraction. Shinji! Pull back to sector 4. A rifle will be waiting for you. . .Shinji. . .Shinji! Answer me–"

"Anti-body Coralians attacking!" shouted Aoba over Misato.

Shinji instinctively put up his hands, letting go of the Eva's controls. To his surprise, the Eva mimicked his action. Not only that, it had solidified its AT field, and the Coralians were knocking against it, unable to break it.

"Shinji!" Misato demanded again, "Follow my orders and pull back!"

"I can't!" Shinji protested.

"This isn't the time for–"

"Misato! I really can't!" Shinji's eyes shifted down to the Eva's side, and the bridge saw through Unit-01's cameras that there were two boys on the side of the hill.

"What the hell are civilians doing there?" raged Dr. Akagi.

"Information on screen," responded Aoba. "They're Shinji's classmates."

Again, Misato's mind worked a mile a minute. "Ma'am," shouted Hyuga, "10 minutes till anti-body Coralians breach the Geosphere."

"Engage emergency plug ejection plan," the Captain ordered. "Shinji! Let those two into the entry plug." Shinji saw the myriad of lights, and felt the entry plug move, then open. A ladder descended from the plug, and the internal speakers of the Eva relayed Captain Katsuragi's voice: _"You two! Hurry up and get in!"_

Without a moments delay, Kensuke and Toji raced up the ladder and entered the entry plug. "What the hell is this!" Toji screamed as he entered the LCL.

"It's all wet and gross," complained Kensuke. Suddenly, the two boys were submerged in the LCL.

"It's alright," they heard Misato's voice. "Just breathe it in, you'll be fine."

"My camera!"

"What's going on here, Ikari?" Toji looked down at Shinji, who had gripped the Eva's controls, trying to keep the AT field from breaking. Each time a wave of Coralians hit, the two boys saw Shinji's arms tremble.

"Now, Shinji," instructed Misato, "when they hit up and regroup, use the opportunity to escape, and get to the rifle!"

The wave came, and the Coralians left an opening. "Hey, you heard her," Toji prodded, "Get going, new kid." Both of the boys were more terrified than they had ever been.

The next hit, Shinji knew, would be the whole swarm– they would try to catch him up in the air, like they did in his first battle. But he wouldn't run– and he wouldn't go on fighting. It was too much.

"AT field has been lowered! Unit-01 is defenseless!"

"Shinji, what the hell are you doing?" The Captain watched as the Coralian swarm redirected its efforts. The Eva was invisible to them now.

"The Anti-body Coralians have doubled their efforts. The Geofront is nearly exposed!"

Shinji heard the bridge, and looked up. He saw the swarm leave him, and immediately regretted lowering his AT field. _'I mustn't run away. I mustn't run away. I mustn't run away. I mustn't run away. I mustn't run away!' _

"Hey, Dammit! I'm right here!" Shinji extended his AT field– going beyond its maximum limit, and the anti-body coralians darted toward him. Now, Shinji regretted extending his AT field. Why did he have to go through this? It wasn't fair? How could he defeat all of them?

"Shinji." His father's voice snapped him out of his self-loathing. "You must fight."

With every inch of his being, Shinji hated his father; but he hated himself more. Why must he fight? _'Because I have nothing else' _If this is all there is, why should he continue living? _'If I die, humanity will die.' _That's what Misato says. _'I trust Misato.' _How could he trust anyone who forced him to pilot? _'I trust Rei.'_

There was no question or response in Shinji's head to this statement. He thought on, _'I trusted Ayanami when she said to trust the Eva. I trusted her to have faith in me. My father has faith in me. Misato has faith in me. And Rei Ayanami. . .I mustn't run away.'_

"Unit-01 is generating trapar!" Maya was astounded, along with her fellow Lieutenants, that this phenomenon could happen again. Two pilots was always unpredictable, but this time Shinji was alone.

"Another Seven Swell!" Dr. Akagi looked up toward the tower where the Commander and Vice Commander watched. _'This doesn't prove the Ageha Myth. But. . .Shinji Ikari: he is certainly the inheritor to the throne.' _

"AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Shinji pushed the controls outwards, and Unit-01's arms extended, as did its AT Field. The rainbow of colored trapar emanated from the Eva and overtook the swarm.

The cameras blinded out, and the bridge lost contact for 1246 seconds. Misato ordered a recovery team to be sent out to monitor the activity right away. When the phenomenon ended, Unit-01 had powered down, and the Kute-class was gone.

Inside the entry plug, Shinji had passed out. The two boys were even more terrified than before. They had seen in that short time Shinji go thru bouts of extreme anger, and saw the look in his eyes as he forced the AT field to continue to expand. They watched as that look died and withered into despair. He laughed for a moment, and Toji thought that he had lost his mind. Then, he realized, that Shinji was crying. He continued to cry until exhaustion stole his consciousness.

* * *

**Siamese Dream**

Once again, the Commander of Nerv found himself amongst the twelve members of Seele. The chairman spoke first. "You're actions were not sanctioned by this committee, Ikari." Gendo Ikari didn't respond.

"Sending your son out in the Eva was pointless. If he had failed, Unit-01 might have been lost, which is unacceptable."

"Unit-01 is the chosen vehicle by which Instrumentality will take place. It is too valuable to be used recklessly."

Finally, Gendo Ikari spoke. "Seele has entrusted Nerv with the task of protecting the Command Cluster until the awakening of the Code 4-X. It is likely that either of the pilots might be injured in battle. It was necessary to see if the Third child could synchronize with Unit-01 alone."

"In that respect your actions seemed to have been successful. A Seven Swell Effect, which we believed could only be performed by the union of Man and Coralian, was achieved with a sole pilot and the Artificial Human Evangelion Unit-01."

"The Ageha Project Myth indicates that the union is of the mind and will– the spirit, not the body."

"Indeed, if the First and Third child experienced the same mode of thought during the anti-body Coralian's attack on the Geofront, then it is possible that the Seven Swell could be triggered."

"However, this information does not excuse your actions, Ikari."

"Understood," responded the Commander of Nerv. Again, the lighted desks disappeared from Gendo's sight– but the meeting continued.

The Chairman spoke: "It is clear that Ikari's plans involve both of the pilots, along with Unit-01."

"Sometime, unnoticed, Ikari's objectives have broken from our own. He will act before the appointed time."

"Too much power has been given to that man," concluded the Chairman, "And soon he will have the second child and Unit-02. What are your plans for them, Ikari?

* * *

Shinji didn't go to school the next day. He didn't even go home. For the past 4 days he had been wondering the streets. He had thought that life wouldn't be so bad with the Eva. Rei could, maybe, be his friend– or at least someone his own age he could talk to. They were in the same position, after all. And his father: he would never get along with his father. Though, he could be of use. He could do well, and his father would praise him. And Misato had taken him in. She cared about him enough to keep him from the hell of being alone.

'_She cared. . .she cared. . .I thought she cared. . .'_ Shinji remembered what happened after the fight in the Eva the other day. . .

* * *

"Why did you ignore my orders?" Shinji sat in the locker room, motionless. He stared down at the floor, as Misato yelled questions at him. "I'm responsible for your actions in every operation. You have an obligation to obey my orders. You understand that don't you!"

"Yes," Shinji answered dully.

"Ignoring my orders could get you killed."

"Yes."

"You almost died! Are you litening!"

"Yes."

Misato slammed the locker door with her fist. "You won't get out of this by mouthing 'Yes'! If you continue piloting with such a half-assed attitude you won't last!"

"Yes, Misato. We won though, right? That's a good thing."

Misato grabbed Shinji by the collar, and pulled him off the bench. They were eye-to-eye, but Shinji continued to stare at the ground. "I wish I could say you had the right outlook, but you're making a mistake if you think it will earn you any praise from me."

"It's not about that," for the first time Shinji had some emotion in his voice, but it was gone in an instant. "Anyways, I don't have a choice. Unit-01 won't work without me. . .I'll just have to do it."

Misato shook Shinji, but the boy remained detached. She let him go, and stormed out of the room.

* * *

After the fourth day of Shinji's absence, even Dr. Akagi was beginning to worry. Unlike Misato, she knew what was at stake in Shinji's choice to pilot. Of course, the Security Agency had been tailing him, and could recover him at any time. As a last resort, they could brain wash the boy, but there was no telling how synchronization would be affected after that.

Misato had walked in on Rei's physical examination to complain to Ritsuko about the whole situation. She knew Rei wouldn't mind– the girl had no sense of modesty. She had just finished putting her underwear on when Misato walked in.

"He's only 15 years old," Misato concluded. "In the end, it was too much to lay humanity's destiny on his back."

"It can't be helped," Ritsuko responded. "Unit-01 never functioned properly with Rei as the sole pilot. Furthermore, the Evas can only be piloted by teenagers."

"I know that, but still. . ."

"Has he contacted you at all?" asked Ritsuko. But Misato was silent. "Nothing?"

Misato sighed. "Nothing. I don't think he will pilot again."

"What are you going to do?"

"What could I do? Besides, it's better for him if he never comes back."

"He will." Both Dr. Akagi and Captain Katsuragi looked over to Rei. She was the only other person in the room, but neither were sure that Rei had actually spoken.

Rei buttoned up the last of her uniform and grabbed her bag off the floor. As she headed toward the door, she answered the two women's blank stares. "Pilot Ikari will return."

* * *

Shinji had spent those few days trying not to think. He wanted just a short amount of time where he could tell himself that nothing mattered. He was surprisingly successful. He thought so little that he managed to go nearly a week without food or water. He walked as far as he could, but stopped– not out of exhaustion– when he came to a destroyed bridge. Looking out past the wreckage, he saw the street that had brought him to Ciudades del Cielo.

"ALRIGHT!" Shinji yelled into the night. "You. . .can take me back now." Behind Shinji, car and flood lights made it seem like day. The Nerv security had obviously followed him.

Shinji couldn't tell how long he was sitting in solitary confinement, but he was starting to feel the hunger and thirst. Outside, Misato stood, trying to decide how long she should let Shinji stew. She had no idea that he hadn't eaten since before his fight in the Eva– cruelty was not her intention. Plus, she had a plan.

Risuko, on the other hand, who had seen Shinji taken in, noticed immediately the signs of malnutrition and exhaustion. She had come to the cell with a meal, hoping to keep her pilot alive, but Misato was blocking the door.

"You better let me feed him," warned Risuko, "or he might actually die outside the Eva."

"Well we wouldn't want that," Misato mocked. "Just leave it here."

"If I do that," shot back Ritsuko, "the food might get cold."

"I'm not gonna starve him!" yelled Misato. "I'm just waiting."

"For what: to see if Shinji's guilt, or depression, consume him first? You've underestimated his stubbornness– and self-loathing– he probably hasn't eaten in days,"

Ritsuko noticed that Misato was no longer looking at her, but past her. She turned around and saw, "Ah! Rei. . ."

"I have come as you asked, Captain Katsuragi." Rei stopped just short of Dr. Akagi.

"Thanks a bunch, Rei." Misato's mood brightened up considerably. "Now, why don't you bring Shinji's meal in for him?"

". . ." Rei knew that she should be affirming the Captain's request. But her mouth wasn't moving.

Rei was deep in thought, and so missed Dr. Akagi mutter to the Captain, "Is Sh–she blushing?"

"It's alright, Rei," Misato encouraged. "We can't keep him waiting: he hasn't eatin' for days, y'know? Besides," Misato moved behind Rei and pushed on her back, inching her toward the cart carrying Shinji's food. "You have some words to say to him, right?"

". . .Understood." Rei grabbed the cart, and Misato opened the lock door for her.

As the door opened, Shinji's eyes flashed dead. The light was such a drastic change to the confinements darkness, for a split second Shinji thought he might have actually gone blind. He kept his eyes toward the floor– not knowing who was at the door, or what they wanted, and not caring much either.

"Pilot Ikari," Rei spoke, and Shinji looked up in surprise.

"Ayanami," he looked at the cart he was caring, and now Shinji was practically salivating. "Is that. . .uuhhhh–"

"Yes, it is your meal. Dr. Akagi brought it, and Captain Katsuragi asked me to bring it in to you." Rei proceeded to take out and prepare the food. She placed the cart in front of Shinji, pulled out a retractable tray, and set his food upon it so that he would easily be able to eat.

Shinji didn't wait to say "thank you", or even use utensils. He drank his energy shake in one grab, and shoveled rice into his mouth with his palms. Rei stood their– forgotten– patient. Shinji had moved on to his entree, and Rei decided that this was enough. "I'll be going."

"Weih, waitd!" Shinji yelled with his mouth full of food. Rei turned back toward him, and stood waiting. Shinji stared at her for what may have been minutes, but suddenly resumed eating.

There they were– and that's how they stayed. Shinji continued eating, and Rei stood, looking at nothing in particular. Shinji didn't want her to speak, and was glad for the silence. Rei thought about how to say what she was thinking. Why should she even bother? Why should the other Pilot care?

Rei thought, _'We share a bond.'_ But there was nothing between them: that is the truth. _'Unit-01 is our bond.'_ The Eva was all she had, but Pilot Ikari despises it. _'That is why he'll understand.'_

"Ayanami," Shinji's voice sounded as if he was asking a question, but Rei didn't respond. ". . .you know why I am here."

"Yes," responded Rei.

"I walked as far as I could in every direction. . .But there was no escape. And I don't mean the roads, which are all destroyed. . .I realized that I have no where else to go." The words struck Rei like a bullet. Now, at least, she knew that there was some chance he might understand.

"Why did you run?"

"I don't know," Shinji lied. Rei didn't ask again, though she knew that the other pilot was not being honest with himself.

"Will you run away again?"

"I don't. . .think so," Shinji wondered himself whether that answer was truthful. "Besides," for the first time Shinji looked up– Rei was surprised at the clearness of his blue eyes– "we decided to support each other." Again, Rei felt as if a bullet had hit her, but she didn't understand why.

Her outer persona was as stoic as always, and she could only reply to Shinji's weak and pathetic smile by saying, "Very well. Goodbye, Pilot Ikari."

But as she began to walk toward the door, Shinji bursted out "Wait–ah. . ." Rei turned, but didn't say anything. Shinji lost his train of thought in her eyes. _'It's that stare. . .I don't hate it.'_

"Of course," Rei suddenly said.

"Huh?" Shinji watched in shocked awe as Rei went through her motions. He finally realized that she was cleaning up his food, and making to wheel the cart out of the room. "Oh! Ayanami, I'm. . .glad your doing better–" Rei stopped the cart, but did not look back. "What I'm trying to say is that– ummm– you were hurt before, y'know?"

"_What am I saying?'_ Shinji thought.

"What are you saying?" It took a moment for Shinji to accept that it was Rei who had spoken. _'Is she embarrassed?' _he thought. Shinji quickly dismissed the notion from his mind. She definitely didn't sound embarrassed.

Of course, what Shinji failed to realize was that Rei Ayanami rarely had any tone to her voice at all. She was so used to being dispassionate to everything, save the Commander, that there was now a six foot wall of crap between her and her emotions.

As things are, Rei didn't think she was embarrassed, nor was she blushing. She was genuinely confused at her fellows Pilot's words. _'Why is he concerned for me?'_

"Anyways," Shinji said awkwardly, "You're well now. . ."

"You needn't be concerned about me." Again, Rei's voice was emotionless; but Shinji thought there was a finality in her words.

He was still deep in thought when Misato entered. "Did all that wondering help you sort things out?"

Shinji was snapped out of his reverie. "I suppose. . .I'm sorry. I'll come back."

"You take too much for granted," Misato's tone was stern, more so than Shinji could ever remember it being. "Nerv needs a pilot for Unit-01. Rei's reactivation test is in four days. If we weren't sure whether Unit-01 would operate without you, Shinji. . .you wouldn't be getting off so lightly."

"Reactivation test?" Once again, Shinji showed his propensity for focusing solely on one phrase, tuning the rest out.

"That's right," Misato humored him. "Last time, during the first activation test, she was trapped inside the ejection plug as Unit-01 went berserk. You're father saved her by prying open the super heated hatch with his bare hands. If she wasn't completely devoted to the Commander before that. . . "

"My father. . .and Rei?" Shinji had a lot of emotions swirling around his head, the least of which was confusion.

"In any case, Shinji," Misato sounded caring enough, but Shinji was barely listening. "You have to promise me you won't run off again. I can't cover for you again."

'_Misato covered for me. Misato cares about me. . .No, she doesn't. I'm her job. But. . .even so, she is kind to me.' _

"Misato," Shinji sounded as pathetic as he looked, which was shocking because– though Shinji hadn't realized it himself– Shinji's clothes were dirtied to the point of soiled rags, and his hands, arms and legs were bruised and bloodied. "Why did you let me live with you?"

"Hah..." Misato scratched her head. "Shinji. . .even if Rei gets the green light to pilot Unit-01 alone, I know. . .she won't pilot the Eva without you." Shinji looked up and saw the seriousness in Misato's eyes. "She may seem confident, even aloof. . .but she's still just a young girl. In my eyes, Shinji, the fate of the world is on both of your shoulders."

'_I knew it,'_ Shinji thought.

"I took you in because you're important to Nerv," Misato finally admitted. "But Shinji, for me personally, it was more than that. You remind me of myself."

"You said that before," muttered Shinji.

"I wasn't lying," Misato said cheerfully. "I joined Nerv for the same reason as you: to get closer to my father. He disappeared while researching the Scub Coral, and now I'm searching for the answers behind what happened, and what is happening now. Maybe. . ." Misato was scared she might frighten or intimidate Shinji into another escape attempt, but she couldn't stop now. "I am using you, but I'm also trying to help you Shinji. I think you need to find out about your father– I know you do. I also think Rei will need support, and I know you can give it to her. So. . .maybe, Shinji, we could all do it together. That's what growing up means: it's what being human means."

Shinji had listened through to the end. He had already decided not to run away, but till now he hadn't realized what he was running away from. _'Responsibility. . .my responsibility to Misato. . .my promise to Rei. . .my father.'_

"Dammit!" Shinji yelled as he jumped off the bench and punched the opposite wall. "Dammit! Dammit! Dammit!" With each outburst Shinji's fists connected with the wall, till his knuckles bled. He was nearly crying, and soon he ran out of energy. Shinji fell to his knees, and the last thing he heard was Misato yelling for Dr. Akagi.


	2. Chapter 7

**Summertime Blues**

The next few days passed without incident, till it was Friday night: the day before Rei's reactivation test. Dr. Akagi had decided to come over for dinner. Unfortunately for everyone, it was Misato's night to cook. Shinji didn't even bother eating on such nights; and he wasn't bothered enough to warn Ritsuko that her friend's cooking hadn't improved since college.

"Ugh. . .oohhh," the Doctor kicked herself, as she gripped her sides and covered her mouth in an attempt not to revisit the meal she had just choked down. "Next time you invite me over," she scolded Misato, "make sure it's Shinji's night to cook."

"Oh, picky picky," Misato said.

The Doctor seemed to swallow deeply, before letting out a large sigh. Then suddenly, "Oh! I keep forgetting." Ritsuko started rummaging through her purse. Shinji wasn't paying attention. The first thing he noticed was an i.d. card being shoved into his hand.

"He's been in a funk ever since the last fight," Misato commented.

"Well, besides that," the Doctor said dismissively, "Shinji, could you do me a favor?" Shinji didn't say a thing. He was looking at his security card, and– once again– the finality of his situation hit him. "I need you to give Rei Ayanami her renewal." The Doctor held out another Nerv security pass: this one had the blue-haired pilot's face on it– and her name– instead of Shinji's.

"What's the matter?" Misato began in a devilishly innocent tone, "You're staring at Rei's photo, aren't you?"

"Ah," Shinji's faced turned beet red, "no–"

"Come on, you're embarrassed!" Shinji was trying his hardest not to get sucked in to Misato's game. "Now you have an official excuse to go to Rei's home. Good~Luck~" Misato said in a sing-song voice.

"Why do have to tease me?" Shinji couldn't help himself.

"You're quick temper makes you easy to tease," Misato explained with glee.

"I can't believe Shinji's the grown-up in this relationship," the Doctor was exasperated.

Shinji calmed himself down, and without thinking went back to looking at the blue-haired pilot's photo. "I just find it strange that I know so little about her, even though we're both Eva pilots."

"She's a nice girl," Ritsuko responded airily, "But she's like your father, I guess: She's not very adept. . ."

"At what?" Shinji wondered out loud.

The Doctor took another drink, and finished, "Living, I guess." _'Actually, that makes sense'_– as Shinji thought back to that day at school. . .

* * *

Like every day, Shinji walked through the door and greeted the classroom half-heartedly. "Good Morning."

"Hey, Shin-man!" The past four days had been different, though. This greeting was the first step toward normal. Not normal for a boy like Shinji– he had never had any friends. But, he thought, this might be normal for other boys: other high schoolers like Toji and Kensuke.

Both of the boys had actually talked with him in and out of class the last few days. They joked with him. They even seemed to like him. _'Weird though'_, Shinji had to admit to himself. The day he returned to school, Toji had pulled him out of 1st period and taken him behind the school. At first, Shinji thought the overly irritable boy wanted another go at punching him.

"'it me!" Toji demanded.

"Eh?" Shinji couldn't believe it.

"It's just the kind of guy he is," Kensuke said wisely.

"I was stupid!" Toji yelled in apology. "I'd no idera 'bout ur situation, 'n' acted like a jerk. We've gotta be even, so 'it me."

Shinji clenched his fist. He thought for a moment that the boy might be making fun of him, and that made him want to take Toji's offer all the more. "You sure about this?"

"Yeah," Toji said. "As long as ya don't 'old back." Shinji considered him. His eyes darted quickly to Kensuke, who gave Shinji a smile and a thumbs up.

'_They're for real,'_ Shinji thought excitedly. He cocked his arm, and threw his fist.

"Ouch!" Toji rubbed his nose. Shinji had stopped just short of his face, and flicked his nose.

"I think," Shinji said playfully, "That I'll have you owe me one." Shinji had meant it at as a joke, and Kensuke did laugh; but Toji hounded him for the next few days to hit him already. Either way, the three boys had developed an awkward friendship.

Shinji greeted the two boys as he put down his bag at his seat. He didn't linger though. Ayanami had been absent since he had started attending school again, and both Toji and Kensuke told him that she hadn't been to school since Shinji's last battle. Today, however, there she was– like always– staring out the window.

"Ah– Ayanami," Shinji tried to begin a conversation of which he didn't know the point. The girl gave no sign of recognition, but some how Shinji knew she was listening. "I know you said that I didn't have to worry, so I won't. But. . .I'm still glad you're feeling better– enough to come to school, I mean."

"Why?"

"Huh?"

". . ." Rei had thought her question was pretty straight forward. Maybe this was one of those times when the Third Children didn't know how to answer a question, and so pretended not to understand– Rei had noticed that he did this sometimes with Misato, their classmates, and others.

The blue-haired pilot turned toward Shinji for the first time, and he came under that powerful gaze emanating from her red eyes. He searched around in his head for what she could have meant by _'Why?'_. Why am I talking to her? Why do I think she's better? Why am I glad? Why am I still worrying?

While Shinji was thinking all this and more, a lot of time had passed. People in the class were wondering why a military pilot– or even 'a nice boy'– like Shinji was talking to _that_ girl. _That_ girl was notorious for having the worst attitude that any of the students or the teachers had ever seen. She had never attended school on a regular basis, but some how none of the teachers took any notice. She had been through the same jr. high school that most of the others had, and some had even known her back in the last grades of elementary. It was the same then too. No matter how often she was absent, the teachers never talked about it– and she never received any punishment.

Even when she was at school, she never payed attention in class. She never ate lunch, never talked with anyone, and never stayed at the school for a second longer than she needed to– no clubs or extra-curricular activities either. People had dismissed or ignored her as a 'bad seed'; and all the girls spread rumors about how she constantly died her hair, and that she wore contacts every day to make her eyes that unnatural color. Most people took these at face value, labeling Rei a 'delinquent'.

In Jr. High, some people who had known her in elementary had spoken up against this. For one thing, Rei was at the top of the class, yet she had never been seen studying. Her skin was pale white, no matter what time of the year it was. The school had even been on a trip to the beach, and Rei didn't tan– a boy named Matthieu remembered this in particular. He was an expert on all the pretty girls, and no one could deny that Rei was a beauty (_"That's why the girls spread those rumors," Matthieu would say wisely_). All this meant that Rei must be an Albino, and her red eyes were apart of her condition. As for her hair, it must have something to do with her condition as well. Maybe her albinism was so severe that it stole the pigment from her hair, so that it was actually white. Rei was a girl after all– even if she was odd to the point of madness– and would rather have her hair be blue than white.

However, this second theory died out, as the girls– and some of the boys who thought Rei was cute, but were turned off by her cold attitude– shouted down anything other than the mantra: 'Rei the delinquent'– or– 'Rei the Ice Queen'.

But Shinji was different. He was a pilot, and (probably) the hero who saved the city from those monsters. He could be the most popular kid in school, but he was just as cold as Rei– even more so. People dismissed the character flaw by saying things like: "It must be tough on him y'know? Someone as important as him really couldn't have time for friends, right? Yeah, we really shouldn't trouble him."

But even so, he shouldn't be talking to Rei. She was a beauty, for sure, but she was a bad influence on the pure Shinji. He would learn soon enough. One conversation with her and Shinji would stay as far away as possible.

And while Shinji was thinking, and their classmates were murmuring, Rei was staring at Shinji. _'He doesn't need to be concerned with me. Why is he glad? What's this feeling?_' This last question occupied her mind most of the time Shinji was anywhere near her. Even when he wasn't around– even when she was alone at night– her minds drifted back to her fellow Pilot. _'He still isn't answering. I should ask him again. No, wait, he probably doesn't want to answer. That's right, I can see it in his face. He doesn't want to talk to me anymore, but he's trying to think of someway to answer. He doesn't want to be rude, so he's trying to think of an answer. That's ok, he doesn't have to.'_

Rei, thinking she was letting Shinji off the hook, turned away and went back to looking out the window. Of course, Shinji thought this would happen. The other pilot obviously wanted nothing to do with him. He silently went back to his seat, and the rest of the class internally nodded their approval of what had just happened. This way, Shinji would stay away from _that _girl.

For the rest of the class time, Shinji stared over at Ayanami, and Rei stared out the window. Last period was P.E., and only very reluctantly did Shinji go with Toji and Kensuke to the field. The girls had swimming that day, while the boys were taking turns playing basketball.

Toji was especially good, but Shinji was barely paying attention to the game. The three boys ended up on the same team, and won by twenty points– though everyone agreed that Shinji was useless at sports. The three boys took a seat against the wall of a raised plateau. On the topside of the raised ground was an outside pool where the girls were. Shinji looked up and to the left, and saw that the girls were leaning against the iron chain-linked fence, waiting for their turn to swim.

There was Rei, looking down at her feet as she sat apart from the other girls. "All da girls 'ave such lovely breasts. . ." Shinji's thoughts were broken by Toji's voice.

"Ew, Suzuhara has that look in his eyes," Shinji heard the far off voice of a girl. And then another, "What a perv."

"Tch," Toji dismissed the girl's comments, and eyed Shinji suspiciously. "What's Shinji lookin' et?"

Shinji was startled at his own embarrassment, but managed to say indifferently. "Er, nothing in particular."

"Yer lookin' et Ayanami aren't ya?"

"Don't deny it!" teased Kensuke. "It's so obvious."

"Yeah," Toji and Kensuke moved closer to Shinji. They leaned in closer and closer as they said mischievously:

"Her breasts–"

"Her thighs–"

"Her. . ." Toji and Kensuke were inches from Shinji's face, "Naughty Bits!"

"I told you, it's not like that!" Shinji demanded. He looked back up towards Ayanami.

Shouts of "Cute!" and "Shinji!" sounded from the girls next to Rei. As if roused out of her reverie by the sound of her fellow pilot's name, Rei looked up from her feet and moved her head ever so slightly to look down at the basketball field. Shinji seized his chance. Grabbing the nearest face– which happened to be Toji's– Shinji contorted the features and spun the rest of the boy's body on the spot.

"Hehehe," the girls giggled, and one of them said, "I didn't think Ikari had it in him."

'_Knew it,'_ Shinji thought to himself, as Toji shook him off, _'She didn't laugh.'_

"What da HELL d'ya think yer DOIN'!" Toji demanded.

Years of shrugging anything remotely serious off as a joke had its toll– his thoughts hadn't reached his heart. Placidly he thought, _'Is she an alien or something? Eh. . .couldn't be.'_

"Ikari! LOOK ET ME!" Toji was about to hit him, when Shinji noticed him.

"Oh! Let's say. . .we're even now!" Shinji put up his arms in case Toji thought he should shove it; but the latter looked defeated.

'_I din't want 'im ta get me back like DAT. . .' _Toji was one of those deathly loyal friends, not out of a sense of fondness or friendship– those were too emotional, an emotions could change– but out of a sense of duty or honor. He was a man with a code, and he wouldn't break it: _'Ev'n ef I wanna punch 'is block off,' _

"Alright you punks," the P.E. teacher called after sounding his whistle, "Get changed and classes are done for the day."

As the three boys walked off the field, Shinji had an idea, but it was a long shot. "Hey, Toji. Has she always been like that?"

Though he looked completely disinterested, Toji responded after a few long seconds, "Ayanami, ya mean?" Shinji nodded. "Et least since de last ye'r of middle school– dat's when she tr'nsferr'd 'ere, right?"

"Yep," Kensuke nodded. "Never even tried to make friends. And NO ONE has ever seen her smile. Always the same 'Ice Queen'."

"And al'ays been dat hot of er babe," Toji added, as he traced feminine curves in the air with his hands.


	3. Chapter 8

**Two-Machine Guns**

It was early in the morning, and Shinji had been lying awake in in his bed for a little over an hour. It was Misato's turn to make breakfast, though Shinji knew she would forget. He heard some stumbling around in the kitchen, and before that the shower had been running. Then his door creaked, and Shinji saw out of his barely opened eyes that it was Misato, already dressed in her uniform for work. Misato stood there for a long time, wondering whether or not Shinji was faking sleeping.

'_Could she just talk already?' _Shinji noticed that he was still holding the i.d. with the blue-haired pilots photo on it. He had woken up and taken it out immediately to look at it. Some part of him– though he didn't realize it himself– didn't want to deliver it.

"Shinji. . ." Misato's voice was so gentle it was almost sickening. "I know you're awake." Shinji gave no sign that she had heard her.

"That's it, get up!" Misato pulled Shinji by his collar off the bed and marched him out into the hall. Shinji's shouts of surprise were drowned out by the Captain's booming voice. "Test has been moved to noon. So that means you need to go to her house right now and–"

"I don't even know where she lives, Misato!" Sense seemed to dawn on Misato for a moment.

"Rrrrright!" Misato let go of Shinji and went into the kitchen. A second later she came back, shoved an address card into Shinji's hand, and pushed him out the door– throwing his shoes out after him.

'_Troublesome. . .'_ Shinji grudgingly made his way to Rei's apartment, muttering to himself complaints against Misato while remembering what she had said the other night.

"_Now you have an official excuse to go to Rei's home. Good~Luck~" _

'_It really isn't like that,' _this thought was a realization that had a good deal of regret in it.

Before Shinji realized that any time had passed, he was standing in front of an apartment door: #402. _'Ayanami lives alone in a place like this?' _ He rang the doorbell, but– _'It's broken.'_ Hardly knowing what he was doing, Shinji turned the door handle. _'It's not locked.'_

He entered slowly. "Ayanami?" he called out to the seemingly vacant apartment. "Eto. . .It's Ikari." Shinji took off his shoes, but didn't excuse himself from entering. "Is anybody home?" He called out again.

Now he got a good look at the apartment. It was dismal. _'There's no way a girl lives here.' _In the far left-hand corner was what looked like a fold-up hospitable bed, and beside it lay a pair of school shoes, a office chair and a small work desk with textbooks and papers lying on top of it. In the far right-hand corner was a small fridge with medical packaging, bottles, and other oddities that Shinji didn't recognize. There was a box of bloody bandages near it, and bags of trash lay about the floor. There was no kitchen, and Shinji failed to notice– as he walked into the main room out of the short entrance hallway– that to his left was a door to the bathroom.

Finally, between the bed and the fridge stood a simple four drawer dresser with– _'Are those Ayanami's glasses?' _Ignoring the sounds of stopped water and soft footsteps, he walked determinately over to the dresser and picked up the glasses. He saw written on the side: _G. Ikari_.

'_! They're dad's. . .' _Then he heard a noise behind him. He turned around and saw Ayanami drying her hair with a towel. She was completely naked. And though she was looking at him, she seemed not to really take in his presence– or rather, Shinji mused for a split second, that Ayanami cared so little that she willed him not to exist in that moment.

Suddenly, a fierce look appeared on her face, and she marched toward him. Shinji recalled the moment before Toji had punched him for a second time. "WAAAAHHHHH!" Shinji panicked, fell back on the dresser, and dropped his father's glasses. He waited for Ayanami to slap him, but no pain came.

He took a peak through his fingers and saw Rei bending down to pick up the glasses. His eyes drifted from the glasses to Rei's body. Her breasts. . .her thighs. . .her–

"I– I'm sorry! Eto, ahh, Sorry! I didn't see anything!" Shinji covered his eyes and headed for the door. The following moments passed in slow motion. Shinji thought his leg might have caught on Ayanami's arm, while his other foot slipped on the towel that had fallen from her head. He felt his body collide with hers, and the next thing he knew he was trying to break his fall by stretching out his hands.

One caught the cold, hard ground; but Shinji's other hand landed on something firm, and yet, when he gripped to push himself up, it gave way and seemed as delicate as a raw piece of meat, or perhaps a particularly soft pear. It was so peculiar that Shinji stopped for moment to savor the feeling. He looked down and saw that his hand was placed harshly on Ayanami's breast.

"Could you get off," Ayanami's voice was deadly calm.

"Ah!" Shinji flew four feet in the air, and somehow managed to land on the right side of the room, away from Ayanami's bed and the clothes that were laid across the bed covers. Ayanami ignored what had just happened– ignored Shinji– and began to dry off after putting the glasses back on the dresser.

"What is it?" she asked.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to," Shinji said unconvincingly. Shinji's eyes darted down to Ayanami's chest, and a tingling feeling crawled up and down his fingers and palm. He realized that he was watching the girl getting dressed, and quickly turned away– embarrassed. "What was it again?" Shinji said more to himself.

He felt his hand– the hand that wasn't savoring the the recent sensation– move into his pocket, and his fingers grasped a small plastic card. "The card!" Shinji exclaimed in triumph, and he turned on the spot. Rei had put on her panties, but her bra was still in her hand. Shinji turned around again, but his eyes darted back toward the side of his head, back at Rei.

"_Your_ card. . .it's been renewed. So Misato. . .she asked me to drop it off." Impressively, Shinji's voice was calm, though a bit awkwardly stressed and paced.

"Leave the card over there then," replied the other pilot. The words were icy cold. Shinji didn't know what he had been thinking. How could the situation have been salvaged? He was an idiot– now he was certain– and a pervert. "SORRY!" Shinji yelled, much too loudly, and ran out the apartment, after slamming the Nerv ID card on Ayanami's dresser.

He stopped outside the blue-haired pilot's apartment, grasping the door handle and flat wall for support. He felt like he had left his spine back in the dismal apartment. And he began to sob. Tears were steadily leaking from his eyes as he made his way down to the street. He didn't know why he was crying; rather, if he did know, he couldn't express the reason even in thoughts. He couldn't think of anything, but his body seemed to know what it was doing.

Before he knew it, he had stopped tearing. . .his eyes were red and slightly swollen. He was sitting on a park bench near Ayanami's apartment. "DAMMIT ! ! !" Shinji screamed at the top of his lungs, but his throat was so sore and unused to speaking that the exclamation was feeble. _'Dammit. . .she probably hates me now.'_

Shinji flung his head down to enter a fresh round of self-pity, but noticed a shadow on the floor. He jumped off the bench. "A–Ayanami!" Again, Shinji came under the girl's red-eyed glare. He had never fully appreciated the effect that the girl's pale, sky-blue hair had in relation to her deep, blood red pupils. He thought, distractedly, that one moment she might smile– and that the smile would be the most beautiful sight he would ever see– and the next, she might strangle him till death.

After what seemed like a long time, Rei broke her stare and walked off. "Eto!" Shinji walked after her. "Ayanami! You're going to HQ, right? Wait up!" Ayanami kept walking, but Shinji thought that she had always meant for him to catch up– like last time, when she had slowed her running down just enough for Shinji to keep up with her.

Neither of them said anything, but it wasn't a comfortable silence. Every time Shinji tried to start a conversation, he looked over at the other pilot, and his determination was crushed. Rei stared straight ahead, and Shinji thought once again that she was willing him not to exist.

They were on the railway toward the Nerv entrance: Shinji sat a bench down from Rei on the opposite side of the train car. _'I have to say _something. _. . What should I do?' _Shinji sighed audibly, but quickly caught himself. He looked over to Rei, who was looking through her school bag, totally oblivious to Shinji's attempts to catch her attention. _'I guess its a relief to know she can't possibly hate me more than she does now. . .'_

They were on the obtrusively large escalator, heading towards Shinji wasn't sure what: he was following Rei, hoping to say something– anything, at all. "Y–you do anything my father tells you. . ." Shinji had meant it to be a question– conversational and not at all as harsh as it came out. However, Shinji was beginning to 'get use to' the way Ayanami was. She would hear only an innocent question, to be answered honestly. _'Not that she would ever talk to me again.' _

". . ."

'_Oh no,' _Shinji somehow knew what was coming. Not a slap– she wouldn't slap him for the apartment– she might slap for insulting his father– but this time he knew that all he would receive is from the blue-haired pilot was a stare as sharp as a double-edge sword. _'I wish she would look at me. . .'_ The girl was looking straight into his eyes. _'instead of looking through me. . .as if I wasn't here– as if I mattered at all.'_

"I do," Rei answered. Shinji heard her voice, but not her words. "I have faith in him." Now he was listening, "The only thing in this world I have faith in is Unit-01 and the Commander." Rei turned around, and entered the changing room. Shinji decided that he'd rather not watch the reactivation test, and began to walk toward the Nerv showers.

* * *

The Doctor oversaw Rei's reactivation, but the Commander himself was present. Rei was loaded into Unit-01, and they were just ready to begin.

"Shift format to phase two," instructed Dr. Akagi.

"Roger!" confirmed Captain Ibuki. "Operational voltage critical point, cleared."

"Main power, contact." Everything was going smoothly, but the danger still lie ahead. "Begin Linking Pilot to Unit-01."

"Pulse and Harmonics: Synch is Green."

"No abnormalities in CNS and all nerve links connected. 2.5 until absolute borderline."

Here it was: the final barrier. "1.7 . . . 1.2 . . . 1.0 . . . 0.8 . . . 0.6 . . . 0.4 . . . 0.3 . . . 0.2 . . . 0.1: Borderline clear!"

"Unit-01 had been activated," Dr. Akagi announced. "Now commencing test." The test went on with no further complications, but before it was finished the door opened and Vice Commander Fuyutsuki entered–

"Ikari," the Vice Commander announced, "A Kute-class is forming above the geofront."

"Abort the test!" the Commander immediately took command of the situation. "All personnel go to level one yellow alert."

"Sir," the Doctor said, "Rei cannot go out alone."

"Indeed," the Commander nodded, "load the Third children, and begin synchronization."

The whole room was in a frenzy, and in the confusion no one managed to hear Fuyutsuki say: "It gets worse. . .the United Federation has scrambled LFOs."

"For the purpose of destroying the anti-body coralians," the Commander's words were a statement, not a question.

But the Vice Commander correcting him: "To destroy all Coralian presence."

The Commander understood. "Inform Operations Director Katsuragi."

* * *

Shinji, who had been soaking in a Nerv communal bath when the alarm sounded, got out quickly, and with unusual vigor prepared himself to pilot the Eva.

'_I knew it,'_ Shinji thought as he was loaded into his entry plug. Rei Ayanami was already within Unit-01. The life in him drained away. He emptied himself of every emotion and thought as the myriad of strange colors and shapes passed by him, and the entry plug settled– the LCL filled his lungs, and the sensation calmed him.

Something about being in the Eva calmed Shinji. _'Why am I so calm? Am I really suited for this? That I'm meant to do it.' _Shinji tried to empty himself again, especially of this train of thought: the idea that he was somehow connected to the Eva– like Rei– frightened him more than he could express.

'_I just have to hear Ayanami. I just have to let the synch system guide my movements.'_

"Are you ready?" Misato's voice was in Shinji's ears. "Rei and Shinji, ready?"

"Yes," Rei said tonelessly. Shinji looked to his side, and their was the blurry outline of the other pilot.

"Get your head on straight, Shinji!" Misato was becoming used to Shinji's pre-fight wonderings, but his aloofness still frustrated her to no end.

"I'm ready Misato," Shinji said firmly, and the confidence in his voice reoriented the whole operations room.

Commander Ikari smirked and took charge. "Launch!"

The Eva was on the ground level in a moment, and Shinji saw LFOs fighting back the Coralians. "What's going on!" Shinji demanded of whoever was listening.

"Calm down," Misato yelled Shinji down, "The LFOs are your back up. Your job is to get to the Kute-class, while they occupy the anti-bodies." This was the official line; but Misato knew it was a lie. As soon as Unit-01 extended its AT field, not only would the anti-body coralians swarm him, but the entire squadron of LFOs would attack– making sure that both the Eva was destroyed and the pilots killed.

"Listen you two," Dr. Akagi said, reading Misato's mind, "Don't extend your AT field until the last possible moment. This is a stealth mission, got it?"

The synchronization percentage was over 60%, and the two pilots said in unison: "Roger."

Without a further command, Unit-01 made its way on the ground toward the Kute-class.


	4. Chapter 9

**The World Shatters and Resonates in My Ears**

At this moment, Eva Unit-01 was running at a tremendous speed toward the center of a phenomenon known as a Kute-class coralian. Around the giant mechanized machine swarmed thousands of strange monsters, not to mention a dozen flying, humanoid machines, both of which threatened death at any moment.

An hour previous, the members of Seele met to discuss, what they considered to be, a number of related, 'too-well-timed' incidents. After much deliberation, and a tedious reading and rereading of reports, the chairman addressed the members.

"We are all in agreement then?" The old man surveyed the darkly lit room through his vizor.

"All indications are that the natural occurrence of a Kute-class, even when prompted by man's own hands, should not manifest more than one 'eye', and that it should last exactly 1246 seconds."

"The information gathered over the past 100 years indicates that the Scub Coral has not changed, an–"

"That information was gathered by Gehirn and Nerv."

The chairman broke across the several men who seemed as if they were about to speak. "The intelligence gathered by Nerv is not suspect. It is what Ikari has given us that cannot be trusted."

"Indeed, Yui Ikari was loyal to both us and our aims. She was not only a talented scientist, but the only one capable of controlling, and effectively using, the power of that man."

"Certainly, the reach of Gendo Ikari exceeds his grasp, but it will not stay that way."

"His son. . .is it certain that he is the heir?"

"Ikari seems to think so. But his greatest weapon is as fragile and fake as a mirror."

"In any case," the chairman broke in once again, "immediate action needs to be taken. Though it is not a guarantee that the Code 4-X will be completed in the allotted time set forth in the Ageha Project Myth, I think the most prudent course of action is to incapacitate Unit-01 and its pilots."

* * *

"_Run"_ is a simple thought. Nevertheless, the control deck of Nerv watched in amazement as Unit-01 broke through its projected limiters, running to reach the eye of the storm. Dr. Akagi explained in response to Captain Katsuragi's stunned silence that the synchronization of the two pilots was nearing 80%, and that each pilots individual synch with the Eva was crossing over 100%.

"He's a natural," Dr. Akagi said matter-of-factly, but Misato did not smile. _'A natural tool, you mean? He's letting Rei do all the work.'_ The Captain didn't know much about the technical data displayed on the screen, but she knew enough to realize that the mental contamination was much farther along on Rei's synch-o-graph than Shinji's.

In fact, the Doctor and technical staff knew this– in particular, Lieutenant Maya Ibuki was aware that contamination was reaching dangerous levels. However, the Lieutenants' command was to not bring this fact to attention: the Doctor would supervise the pilot's condition, and issue a direct order in case of a real emergency.

Unit-01 made it to the center of the Kute-class, and Misato's voice was heard in both entry plugs. "Alright, extend your AT field and the Eva should do the rest. Remember, once you enter the zone the most important thing is to stay in sych with the Eva and with one another."

"Roger," said the two pilots in unison.

"AT Field is expanding," announced Lt. Hyuga to the control deck.

"Pilot Ayanami's contamination level is–"

"Lt. Ibuki!" Dr. Akagi said furiously. But the Doctor had no time to elaborate.

Lt. Aoba's voice raised over the alarm's sounding, "LFOs and anti-body coralians closing in! The Zone remains closed."

"What is Pilot Ikari's synch ratio?" questioned Misato.

"Synch with the Eva is at 60%, but the two pilot's synchronization is plummeting!"

Anti-body coralians encircled Unit-01, trying to break through its AT field with a constant barrage of tackles. Commands were shouted in the control room to adjust the Eva's specs, and Captain Katsuragi continued to order Shinji and Rei to focus their thoughts and concentrate on expanding the AT field, but Shinji was hardly listening.

"Pilot Ikari's synch with both the Eva and Pilot Ayanami is at minimum levels!"

Dr. Akagi looked intently at the contamination levels displayed on Lt. Ibuki's screen. She looked back at the Commander, whose face was devoid of worry. He gave the slightest of nods, and said, "Operations Director Katsuragi," Misato looked back at his words, "I will now take control of this mission. Dr. Akagi, give the order."

"Lt. Hyuga, shut down the Eva completely: cut all nero-connections with the pilots–"

"Delay that!" Captain Katsuragi ordered.

"You have no authority to issue that command, Captain!" the Doctor yelled fiercely, but Lt. Hyuga ceased the order. "Continue, Lieutenant!"

"The Coralians will recognize the Eva's presence even if we cut the AT field and power! This order effectively kills our pilots! Commander!" Misato looked pleadingly toward the Commander and Vice Com., but neither gave a sign of recognition.

The Doctor spoke in a voice that demanded the whole deck's attention. "Eva's armor will not be pierced by the Coralians for some time, Captain! The LFOs, however, carry progressive knives that will cut through fairly easily." While the Doctor explained, Hyuga was already imputing the code sequence for shut-down. "This way, the swarm will attack both us and them indiscriminately– it may give us time to regroup and try again."

"Eva is shutting down," declared Lt. Hyuga.

As the Doctor predicted, the anti-body coralians began to attack indiscriminately. However, much to the pilot's favor, the threat of the LFOs attack almost immediately drew their attention away from the lifeless Eva. Inside the entry plugs, the pilots lost sight of one another, and Shinji found himself staring at the metal container.

"I. . ." Shinji's voice was hoarse, "I lost my focus," he explained to whoever was listening.

"It will take approximately 72 seconds to restore communication with Nerv HQ, pilot Ikari." Rei's voice was indifferent, but Shinji thought there was an awkward strain in it. As if. . .

"Are you hurt, Ayanami?" Shinji said. But he thought, _'It's my fault.'_

"I am fit to pilot," she responded, and Shinji thought now that there _must _have been a strain in her voice before, because now it sounded as if she was shifting her body and voice in order to mask it. "You do not have to worry. I will pilot Unit-01."

"Wait, what? No, I didn't mean for you to–" but Shinji was cut off by the re-activation of the Eva's functions, including communication with the bridge.

"Shinji, Rei, do you hear me?" Misato's voice cam through the internal speakers.

"Roger," the two said again.

"Alright, the mission is still on: this time, Rei will take the lead. Shinji, we're lowering the demands of the synchronization down to the minimum on your side. It will be a new experience. You'll feel little to no mental feedback, but your thoughts will still effect Rei. You got all this?"

"Yes," Shinji said, more confidently than he felt.

"Alright," said Misato, exasperated. "Just stay calm, and think about your AT field expanding, like a breathing brick wall."

"Starting primary systems," interjected Lt. Aoba.

"Here we go!" Captain Katsuragi exclaimed.

"Rei," the Commander's calm voice issued powerfully throughout the two entry plugs, and Shinji found it hard to keep calm.

"Yes," Rei responded.

"The LFOs have retreated," the Commander began, "It is likely they will fire Cosmic Trigger: Orange." At these words, some of the bridge looked shocked, like Misato and Ritsuko, but the rest looked puzzled.

"Yes," Rei said simply.

"Commander," the Captain's voice was oddly calm and obliging. The Commander acknowledged that she had spoken. "The Eva isn't able to handle that kind of energy offensive. Recognizing that you have taken command of the situation, I suggest are immediate course of action be to retreat and fortify the Geosphere."

"It is noted," the Commander said succinctly.

"Sir!" Misato put as much emphasis and strength in her voice as possible. "With all due respect, I must insist on the Eva and pilot's safety being our top priority, sir! Last time Orange hit this area–"

"That is quite enough, Operations Director Katsuragi!" interrupted V.C. Fuyutsuki forcibly.

The Commander ignored both of them and addressed the pilots. "Unit-01 will remain underneath the Kute-class. The bridge will monitor Orange, though it is unlikely to hit anywhere other than the eye of the Kute-class coralian. Assuming that the massive amount of trapar, and Zone interference, do not completely dissolve the Cosmic Trigger's energy, than Unit-01 will concentrate its AT field and intercept before it makes contact with the Geofront's protective layers. Is this understood?"

"Roger," said Rei's singular voice.

"Pilot Ikari Shinji," resounded the Commander's voice. "Do you understand?"

"Yes," Shinji's voice was shaking. Of course, he didn't understand!

"Very well," the Commander said silkily. "Given my orders, I will hand immediate control over to you Operational Commander Katsuragi."

"Yes, sir," The Captain said dejectedly.

In a span of time that seemed to Shinji as immeasurable as a dream, Unit-01 found itself underneath the massive Kute-class. The anti-body coralians, though clearly aware of the Eva's presence. were not attacking. On the contrary, they were swarming above the Kute-class in no discernible pattern– apparently knowing that their death was oncoming, but at a complete loss on how to cope with it: Shinji felt similarly.

"Countdown till Cosmic Trigger: Orange makes contact with Eva Unit-01. Approximately 2.245 seconds after initial fire, commencing in: 18. . .17. . .16. . ."

All of Ciudades del Cielo waited with bated breath, and inside the Eva the world seemed something that was far away: the silence around Shinji was so thick.

"15. . .14. . .13. . ."

"_Shinji. . ."_

'_Was that a voice?'_ Shinji thought. _"Shinji. . ."_

'_It's Ayanami's voice,' _Shinji added to himself. _'But I'm sure I'm not hearing it. . .it's in my head.' _

"12. . .11. . .10. . ."

"_Yes, Rei?" _Shinji tried to respond in a similar form of communication: something more powerful than a thought, but not as definite as a whisper.

"_Shinji. . ." _

"9. . .8. . .7. . ."

It seemed like the delicate voice wasn't going to say anything else, then suddenly Shinji strained his mind to _"hear" _it–

"_I want to believe in you too."_

"6. . .5. . .4. . ."

"_Rei?" _Shinji couldn't believe this. _'She believed in me because of my father– because they Eva chose me to pilot it with her. But now. . .I'm not a trust worthy person. Don't put your trust in me. . .I can't be trusted. . .I can't believe. . .in anything.'_

"3. . .2. . .1. . ." For the briefest second, Dr. Akagi caught the synch-graph: the pilot's synchronization was feeding from Shinji to Rei in intervals that shouldn't have been possible, meaning that Rei was taking _all _of the mental contamination and their overall synchronization was sky-rocketing.

"_You can call me Rei. . .Goodbye, Shinji Ikari."_

"CONTACT! ! !" The instruments in Nerv HQ went blank. The massive amount of trapar had overloaded even the Magi system. The Commander, Vice Com., Dr. Akagi, and Operations Director Katsuragi were all screaming orders to get their visual and monitoring equipment back online ASAP.

Within the Eva, Shinji saw the Kute-class and anti-body coralians dissolve in an instant, and then it felt as if a violent wave had crashed over his body– but he felt no pain, only pressure. He noticed quickly that the Eva was not responding to any of his movements. He chanced to look to his side, and, as if all of his senses had began working anew, he saw Rei's body breaking– like a grape being slowly and painfully squeezed– he heard her screams of pain and smelled blood in the LCL.

"REI ! ! !" Shinji yelled in absolute terror. "REI, STOP IT! ! ! DAMMIT, MOVE ! ! !" Shinji was addressing Unit-01 as he tugged and pulled on the controls, but his synch. with the machine, and Rei, was too low to make any difference. "Rei . . .Rei. . .Rei. . .you can't do this." Even submerged in LCL, Shinji thought he could feel the tears streaming from his eyes. "You Can't Do This, Rei! Trust Me! Trust Me! You Can: I Won't Let Anyone Hurt You!" Shinji started to feel an intense pain bearing down on his body. "I Won't Let Anyone Harm Unit-01" He felt his skin burn and his eyes bulge in anticipation. "I'll Protect EVERYONE!" He saw out of the corner of his eye that Rei was now in relief, and Shinji knew that the situation had been reversed. "I'M SORRY, REI ! ! !"

"All Systems back onli– What the hell is that!" Lt. Aoba pointed to the main screen. Nerv HQ gained its eyes and ears back just in time to see rainbow light issue forth from somewhere beneath the massive beam of white. In a flash, the white light rebounded off a single point and shot upwards into the atmosphere, while the rainbow light created a sort of broken cylinder.

"The old men won't stay quiet about this," said Vice Com. Fuyutsuki to his stoic companion, who gave no reply. "They must know what we have been engineering."

"It is irrelevant," said Gendo Ikari with such finality that Fuyutsuki was taken aback– he then added in a whisper, completely unaware of anyone else in the room, "Soon, Yui."

Outside, the phenomena lasted for another 1246 seconds, and the next thing Nerv HQ saw– already having sent out rescue teams for both the Eva and its pilots– was two entry plugs ejected several 100 yards from Unit-01. "Give me closer visual," commanded Misato. The main monitor zoomed in, and the entire bridge saw a straggling, bloody figure running away from one entry plug and toward the other. "Shinji, you idiot! Stay still, we'll be there soon!" Misato shouted these orders through the Eva's external microphones, but Shinji gave no sign of hearing them.

Instead, he laid his hands upon the Entry plug. For a few moments, it seemed like he was leaning for support, but then, as if he found what he had been searching for, he seized two handles.

Shinji felt his hands burning, but his body was in state of shock– he couldn't register an ounce of pain. With a great effort, the manual hatch opened, and Shinji rocketed through it. "Rei!" He saw what looked like the lifeless body of the blue-haired pilot. "Rei, No! Be alright– You HAVE to be alright. . ." Shinji's voice trailed away in sobs.

A few moments passed, and he heard something stir. He looked up hopefully, and saw Rei staring feebly up at him. "Commander. . .Ikari Shinji. . .?"

Shinji's sobs broke into a smile, but it disappeared suddenly into a shout of anger. "Don't say 'goodbye'! Don't say that– before you do something reckless– just don't! It's. . .too sad, Rei." Shinji looked down and away, half-exhausted and half-embarrassed.

"You're crying again. . .Why are you so sad?"

Shinji gave a weak chuckles. "Dummy. . .I'm crying because I'm happy. Happy you're alive."

"So. . .you cry when you're happy too." Rei's tone was one of a student repeating an important date or event of a lesson in school. I'm sorry," and it was clear that she had meant it. Rei mused for a moment that this was the first time she had ever used these words. The other pilot was crying, and smiling, and bleeding like her. She wanted to comfort him, but she had no idea how. She wanted to make sure he knew everything was going to be alright, though she felt that no one could guarantee something like that. So she said, "I don't know how to act in these situation. . .Even though I should be happy."

Shinji looked back up and saw the faintest blush upon her pale skin. "If you're happy: you can start by smiling," Shinji suggested, extending his hand to help her out.

Rei was shocked at his expression and gesture– as if she had never seen anything like them before. Then, slowly, she took his hand and smiled back.


	5. Chapter 10

**It is a Child with Adult Alone alone**

'_An unfamiliar ceiling,' was _Shinji Ikari's first thought as he awoke. He remembered a hill, and the Eva, and blood, and loud horns and lights. . .and Rei Ayanami, his fellow pilot. _'That's right. We were rescued.'_

"You woke up." Shinji hadn't yet opened his eyes, but the voice sounded familiar. He thought, before seeing who it was, that she had chosen a poor choice of words– or maybe there actually was a good chance that he might never have woken up.

"Good afternoon," the voice spoke again, and Shinji saw that it was Rei Ayanami.

"Afternoon...?" Shinji groaned slightly as he sat up in his bed.

"Yes," explained Rei, "It is nearly 5 p.m."

"What day is it?" Shinji didn't actually care, but he wanted to keep this friendly conversation going as long as possible.

"Saturday," answered Rei. "A week after the last mission. Shinji got his first good look at his fellow pilot. She was wearing her school uniform– _'On a Saturday? Oh. . .she was wearing it _that _day too. I wonder if its the only clothes she owns'_– and Shinji could tell that her abdomen and chest were wrapped tightly, not to mention her arm, which was in a sling again, and her bandaged wrapped head.

"Ah!" Shinji sat up straight, hurting his ribs, which he saw were also wrapped, and shaking the sheets so they fell of his upper body and settled around his knees. "You're hurt," Shinji forced out the words in a groan, having just experienced an unexpected wave of pain himself.

Before Rei could answer, Dr. Akagi entered and her face showed obvious surprise at something: Shinji thought fleetingly that it must be at 'finding Rei sitting by his bed'. Behind the Doctor followed a nurse attendant into the room, and she actually gasped. "Rei!" the nurse scolded. "What are you doing out of bed– and your clothes!" The nurse's voice quaked with indignation.

Calmly, expressionless, Rei responded, "I have recovered well enough. I plan to return home after visiting pilot Ikari."

"Absolutely not!" yelled the nurse as she was busying herself with adjusting the machine near Shinji's bed. "You and Ikari need to stay to recover for at least another week."

"That's enough," Dr. Akagi said, not looking up from the chart in her hand. "Rei and Shinji can both be discharged, if they like. They're injuries are largely referred pain– mental not physical," she added to Shinji who looked slightly perplexed. "You do need to get back in your room for today, Rei. Please get back in your hospital gown, as well."

"Yes," Rei said simply, though she did not get up from the chair besides Shinji's bed.

"Well," Dr. Akagi went on, turning to Shinji. "How are you feeling?"

"Fine," Shinji lied easily.

"Hungry?"

"No," Shinji's stomach growled at the thought of food, but Shinji knew that he would more than likely throw up if he ate anything.

"All the same," the Doctor said as she checked his pulse and breathing. "You should eat something. We'll send in some soup. Nurse," Dr. Akagi called to her to exit the room. "Come along, Rei–" but Rei made no sign of movement. Before the nurse could yell and scold her once more, the Doctor shrewdly added: "–soon."

"Yes," Rei said again. Now, it was only Rei and Shinji in the large, white hospital room; but neither looked at each other– or spoke. Shinji stared determinately at the clock opposite the end of his bed. He saw the minutes ebb pass in silence:

_2. . .3. . .5. . .8_ minutes. This was getting to be too much. Shinji was dead tired, but he wanted to be with Rei as long as possible. They didn't need to talk, Shinji figured, as long as she wanted to be with him. _'Why didn't she leave with Ritsuko? Why was she here before I woke up?'_

That was as good a place to start as any. "Ayanami," Shinji said with the tone of a small boy speaking to a rather scary or intimidating stranger. "Were you here– are you here cause you were worried about me?"

". . ." If Rei's skin hadn't been so pale, and the room so flooded with sunlight from the large window opposite the door, Shinji mightn't have been able to see the faint blush tarnish her perfect, pearly skin. Suddenly, she stood up and walked serenely to the door, though Shinji could see how her injuries pained each and every one of her movements.

"Wait, Ayanami! I really didn't mean–" Shinji's words died suddenly in his throat when Rei turned around and her eyes bore into his own. This– Shinji might have thought– was a look that threatened strangulation.

Then, to his sudden surprise, Rei smiled. The terror of her stare transformed beautifully into blooming affection. "I'm glad you're better," she said– echoing Shinji's words back to him. Shinji wished he could continue looking at her smile for days, but then he sneezed into his arm.

When he looked back up, Rei was no longer smiling, but there was unmistakable tenderness in her features. "Shinji. . ." It took a moment for Shinji to register the use of his first name. His cheeks blushed a deep shade of red. "I said you can call me 'Rei'. . .so let me call you that." There was again a slight pink under Rei's red eyes.

"Aa!" Shinji nodded once, somewhat too enthusiastically. He sneezed again.

"It would be bad if you became sick in your weakened condition," Rei said. "You should cover up." For the first time, Shinji looked down and realized that he was naked– and the sheets were only covering from his knees to his feet. Panicking, Shinji scramble to pull the covers up over his mouth, but Rei was already walking out the door.

Shinji looked around the room quickly and sighed. _'. . .Pathetic.'_

* * *

"By all accounts," began a member of Seele lit by blue light emanating from his desk, "the operation was a success."

"Certainly, Unit-01 is incapacitated, but the Pilots are alive and well-protected by Ikari."

"It is as much as we could have hoped for. The bigger question is: how did Ikari know that Orange was still active, and under our control? And were his actions that day a blind's man bluff? Or did he _know_ that the Cosmic Trigger would be our first offensive weapon?"

"Ikari has his hands in all of Seele's operations, even this council."

"He either has incredible faith in his son and the First children, or the Eva's AT field was his only resort."

"Neither would be surprising," chimed in the Chairman. "We must accept the situation as it is– Ikari will have no bearing on our ultimate goal. Furthermore, this situation gives us the opportunity to introduce the alternative."

* * *

Misato had told him that he was a good deal more injured than Rei, but still Shinji wondered how Rei could walk to his room, and back, without showing it. _'I hope this is worth it.'_ Finally, after many stumbles, and a good number of groans, Shinji made it to the door leading out to the hall way. Grudgingly, and painfully, Shinji had managed to get Misato to tell him where Rei's room was. He was going there now, thinking that he should visit her– returning the favor.

The door automatically opened, and he grasped the flat wall for support. As he made his way down the empty hallway, he wondered if Rei would even be awake. It was 9 a.m., the day (Sunday) after he woke up, and he had just finished eating breakfast: a piece of toast and artificial orange juice.

'_Oh, I guess she's up,'_ Shinji had turned the first corner and saw Rei characteristically looking out the large windows that let the light from the geosphere into the Nerv building. "Ah–Hey, Rei!" As Rei turned to face him he noticed that all of her bandages had been changed: she wasn't smiling.

Shinji stopped as he saw comprehension dawn on Rei's face. She knew that it was more painful for Shinji to move, so she obligingly moved away from the window and towards him. "Hello..."

Shinji thought about responding, but the blue-haired pilot looked like she was still trying to say something. He thought he knew what that 'something' was. _'I shouldn't have called her Rei. . . she told you to– but still, now we aren't talking at all.'_

There was no clock around, and the light was just dim and pale enough that the air around Shinji gave off a dream-like quality, so that he wasn't sure how long they pressed on in silence. _'This isn't so bad,'_ Shinji thought as the two stood close to one another in silence. Rei was looking at some part of him– not his eyes. It was the first time Shinji actually thought Rei was looking _at_ him, rather than _through_ him. Time passed on, and Shinji also continued to examine her features: her pale blue hair, deep red eyes, long eyelashes, small nose, soft cheeks– Rei was more beautiful than he thought– _'and her lips. . .'_

Like a bullet, Shinji snapped out of his reverie, and he thought that something of the abrupt break in his thoughts had shown on his face because Rei too seemed to refocus herself. She was looking into his eyes now, but he was sure that before. _'She was looking at my lips. . .There! She actually broke her stare to glance at them again.' _

"Ano," Shinji tried to push every outrages thought from his head and start the conversation again. "It looks like your feeling better. . .Rei." The last word was wrenched from Shinji's mouth, as he continued to debate with himself whether or not to he should keep calling her 'Rei'.

He always seemed to say the same things to her, but new topics evaded him. "Are you really going back to school tomorrow?"

"Yes," Rei replied. Again, Shinji got the sense that she wanted to say more. He waited for a moment, but trying to avoid another awkward silence, he pressed on.

"I don't think I'll go this week," Shinji said light-heartedly, but his tone soon became gloomy and dejected. He forgot about his embarrassment, and whatever he was feeling towards Rei, and remembered who he was and how he had received his injuries. "I just can't imagine a 'normal' life, knowing that I'll have to return to fight in the Eva."

". . .You hate it that much," Rei spoke almost in a whisper.

"Ah," Shinji's voice recovered its false casualness. "I forgot! You've been here for a long time– so all of this must be pretty 'normal' to you! Hahaha. . ." Even Shinji thought that his laugh was much too forced, and it died away swiftly and feebly.

Rei thought about these oddities in her fellow pilot. Indeed, for the past two days Shinji– the other pilot– was all she was thinking about. He was so very like the commander: he was reliable when it mattered– _'he saved me like the commander'_– his eyes showed pain and loss like she had never known– _'he's lost someone precious to him like the commander'_– his hair, chin, shoulders, hands– _'he looks like the commander. . .except his lips. Their thin and–' _Rei might have thought _'feminine'_, but her thoughts were interrupted by the boy's voice.

"Rei?" Shinji repeated, "So. . .do you and my father talk?"

He wanted to talk about his father: she was right in front of him and the thing he most wants from her is information about the commander_. _For some reason Rei felt uncomfortable– if that was the right word, she was not so sure– but she ought to answer him all the same. "Yes."

"What about?" Shinji continued asking.

Rei thought long and hard about this. What did they talk about? She supposed that they talked about a lot of things. Should she tell him about everything– she thought for a moment of a list. It was a good a choice as any. "Eva, tests, school, what we will eat–"

"Eat?" Shinji interjected.

Rei was snapped out of her performance. "Yes." She wondered what was so interesting– what was more interesting than–

"So you eat together with my father?"

Now Rei thought she knew what the feeling was. She was annoyed, not uncomfortable. What did Shinji– the other pilot– think was so peculiar about the act of eating? "Yes."

Then a thought broke into Rei's mind. It had issued forth from the look in the boy's eyes. Shinji had quickly turned away from her, and he looked at the floor with such anger– confusion– mistrust– and sadness that Rei thought absurdly for a moment that the floor had purposefully and personally offended him. Then: _'He doesn't know his father. He has never eaten with him. He had no parents. . .like me– Yes, but I had the commander. All these years I have been with the commander, and his son has been with no one. What am I to the commander? Am I a substitute for his son, whom he never knew?' _

Rei's hand jerked at her side. Her body knew what she wanted to do, but her mind was racing to catch up. She looked down at her hand with mild curiosity. It had flittered toward Shinji. It wanted to touch him. It wanted him to stop looking like that. It wanted him to look back at her with that expression of mixed embarrassment and longing. _'What am i thinking?'_

Trying for some compromise, because of course she couldn't actually touch her fellow pilot, Rei said, "I do not know the commander. The things we talk about– the questions he asks me– they are all to make sure I am performing my duties as an Eva pilot." Rei's chest tightened and her eyes narrowed at her own words, as if she had first realized that this was the reality of her situation as she was explaining it to Shinji. A particular alarming realization came into her mind, which she did not verbalize.

'_The commander saved me from the entry plug because I'm his key to the Scub Coral.' _Her mind immediately countered the panic arising in her breast at this notion. _'But he did save you. He has always been there for you.' _Then a light, fluttery feeling rose up from somewhere closer to her abdomen. _'Shinji saved me. . .he was happy I was still alive.'_

Rei came out of her thoughts to see that Shinji was looking back at her, and she was pleased to see that he didn't seem as troubled. There was still a good amount of sadness, Rei thought, in his look– but that was always the case: it was something that made him him.

"Anyway," Shinji tried to move the conversation on, "I'll come back before– or maybe on– next monday." The two once again stood in silence, and Shinji thought this was enough for one morning. "Alright then. . .Feel better, Rei." Shinji smiled and turned to leave. He got a few steps, to the corner of the wall, when the sound of Rei's breath made him turn around. She was about to say something, he knew it.

Rei smiled. "Feel better, Shinji."


	6. Chapter 11

**Know Your Enemy**

As it turned out, Shinji's condition improved much faster than even Ritsuko could have expected. Of course, as she had told herself and others before, the pilots' injuries were, for the most part, in their heads. And the presence of Rei's daily visits to Shinji's hospital room must have motivated his conscience to improve at a quickened pace.

"So. . ." Misato said casually to Ritsuko, while catching up on her pile of paperwork. "They're like– together now?"

"Don't be silly, it's Rei. The thought is almost funny," Ritsuko said. "Their time together is painfully formal." Neither statement was a strict lie. The thought of a doll like Rei 'falling in love' was laughable. On the other hand, Rei _had_ to pick someone– it was hardwired into her by the Scub Coral. _'Well,'_ Ritsuko told herself, _'I suppose humans are the same way. We need someone.'_ She was thinking back to the countless nights she had spent in Nerv's upper offices with '_him'_.

And the two pilots' visits were as innocent as a play date– and much less affectionate than anything between 'friends'. Rei– along with every other non-patient or nurse/doctor– had to be escorted through the Nerv hospital wing whenever she came to visit Shinji. This was official policy, but Rei had been at Nerv so long that no one bothered to enforce the rule anymore, and Rei didn't bother following it. However, Dr. Akagi had taken it upon herself to reinstate this old rule, and used Shinji's 'routine check-ups' as an excuse to chaperone the two pilots' visits.

Each visit was essential identical. Rei would sit down and Shinji would sit up– immediately to protest her needing to visit. "You really shouldn't bother– ah, Rei." Shinji would always stumble over his words, and shoot a glance at the doctor, before saying his fellow pilot's first name.

Then, Rei would remind him, "I came to deliver the handouts from school, and explain the lesson."

"That's okay!" Shinji would continue– you'd almost think he hated having Rei there, when it was the exact opposite. "You can just leave the hand outs h–"

"Falling behind would inhibit your duties here," Rei cut across him. That would be the final word on the subject, and Rei would proceed to read from the handouts, explaining each point systematically. Once and a while, Rei would stop to see if Shinji was taking notes, or ask if he had any questions. When she was finished, Rei would pack up her bag and head for the door. And everyday she would stop short, just before exiting and say, "Get well soon. See you tomorrow, Shinji."

'_She didn't smile this time either,' _ Shinji thought. _'I wonder if Rei's just shy,' _He chanced a few glances over at Ritsuko during each visit, and wasn't surprised to see her watching them– Rei in particular– closely. _'Or maybe she's regretting that she ever talked to me. . .SHE is coming to see YOU– Well, that's true.'_ Despite his nature, Shinji decided not to worry about it till he got out of the hospital.

Shinji's final check up was on Thursday night, and concluded by the Doctor saying that if he got through the night then he would be cleared for discharge Friday morning, in time to attend school. Rei had already visited that day, so Shinji couldn't tell her the good news. He did, however, come up with a plan.

Before leaving the hospital, Shinji would purchase two pack-lunch meals from the cafeteria and bring them to school with him. He would enter the classroom and say, "Good Morning," with a little more enthusiasm than usual. Toji would greet him as normal, and Kensuke would want to hear all about what happened to him. There was no use trying to talk to Rei before morning classes started.

During the first long break, Shinji would greet Rei and tell her about being discharged early– of course that would be obvious, but the real point of the conversation was to see if Rei would actually be friendly with him at school in front of their classmates.

At lunch, Shinji would wait for Toji and Kensuke to go buy their lunch– they never packed their own, and Shinji always waited behind in the classroom to eat with them when they returned. This time, however, he would use that free time to ask Rei to eat with him, away from their classmates– who, Shinji had time to notice during his countless hours in the hospital bed, didn't just avoid her, but disliked her– probably on the roof.

Shinji hadn't thought about what they would talk about, but even if they didn't talk at all, he was determined to ask her something. _'It doesn't have to be a big deal. Rei is nice, and she's just as inexperienced in these things as you. . .You don't know that. Friends– were just talking about friends spending time together outside of school. It's dinner– and Misato will be there! Probably. . .She still might say 'no'. She might not even bother with you anymore–' _

Shinji forced this train of thought to stop. He was _determined_ to ask Rei, no matter what.

Morning came and Shinji put his plan into action. Before no time, Shinji entered the class room and– "G-good morning!" Shinji stumbled over his words because of his nervousness.

"Hey, Shin-man!" Toji smiled at him.

"Where a been Shinji?" Kensuke asked. "C'mon, you can tell _us_." Shinji smiled back and walked over to his desk. As he put his bag down, Shinji looked discreetly over toward the window.

"W-what– I mean," he looked back toward Toji and Kensuke with a look of urgency, and he loudly demanded, "Where's Rei?"

Both boys were cowed under their friend's voice and look. But their shock soon turned to a tentative interest. Shinji checked himself as he noticed the look in their eyes change. _'Shit! I used her first name. I'll never hear the end of this.'_

But before the boys could assault him, Shinji heard the class rep., Hikari, say, "Get to your seats, the teacher's here! Stand. Bow. Be Seated." Throughout homeroom and first period, Shinji could feel both Toji's and Kensuke's eyes burrowing into the back of his head, and his laptop kept notifying him of the messages they were sending him: no doubt asking about what extracurricular activities he and Rei were engaged in. . .together.

When lunch came around, the two boys blocked him from leaving his desk. Toji began, "Shinji. . .I 'ave a lot a feelins in my 'ead right now–"

"Nope," corrected Kensuke. "He's having one, very simple feeling right now: he wants to kill you."

"Ikari," once again, Hikari's voice saved the day.

"Yeah, coming!" Shinji didn't even know if she wanted him to come over, but he wasn't about to pass up the opportunity to get out of this situation. "Hey guys," Shinji called back to Toji and Kensuke, "you can have those two lunches." Then Shinji turned to the class. rep, "You need to buy your lunch, right?"

"Ah. . .no, I–" but Hikari stopped at the expression on Shinji's face. He was desperately mouthing the word _"Please." _She looked behind him at Kensuke and Toji, and seemed to understand. "Rrrright, I do."

"Ok," Shinji said relieved, "I'll go with you." Somewhat awkwardly, the two exited the classroom and headed toward the stairs.

Shinji let out a sigh, and Hikari asked timidly, "What was that about?"

"Oh," Shinji realized that Hikari was still with him. "Nevermind, what is it you wanted?" Shinji's tone was harsh, and Hikari flinched under his words. Shinji wasn't paying enough attention to notice.

"Um. . ." the class rep. was not at all pleased with how she was being treated, and– despite this being the only time she had talked to him for more than ten seconds– she didn't think much of Shinji. "It's Suzarhara's and Ayanami's turn to perform class duties, but I was thinking you could deliver Ayanami the class hand-outs for–"

"Eh?" Shinji refocused his attention.

"Yeah, you!" Hikari was fed up with all this confusion. "Since Suzarhara is useless, and you and Ayanami both work for–"

"How do you–!" Shinji stopped himself as he noticed a couple of students coming down the stairs. He let them pass by, and told Hikari, "Follow me. Come on!"

They both ran at a light jog to the walkway behind the school building, next to the hedged gate. Shinji whispered to Hikari, though there was no one else around, "How did you know Ayanami was a pilot?"

"I didn't know she was a pilot!" Hikari said defensively. "I just knew she worked for Nerv. I, uh. . .overheard the principle."

Shinji palmed his forehead, then buried his face in his hands. He may have just committed treason by telling the class rep. about Rei being a pilot. Hikari stood there, silent and nervous, but none the less sympathetic. "I'm. . .not gonna tell anyone, y'know. I feel really bad about knowing in the first place."

"No," Shinji recovered himself, "It's not your fault. Thanks Hikari, I can take those hand outs. See you in class." Shinji had walked to the building's corner, when–

"Eto– Ikari!" Shinji turned around to see Hikari walking timidly toward him with her eyes to the floor and her hands fidgeting with each other. "You're Toji's– Suzarhara's friend, aren't you?"

Shinji seriously considered the question for a long moment. Hikari stood waiting as Shinji looked up toward the sky. Without looking back down he said simply, "Yes."

". . .Does. . .he ever talk about me?" Shinji looked back down and stared at the class rep. incredulously. "No, it's not that. Ah– forget I said anything." Hikari ran passed him back to the classroom, and Shinji was left to ponder the oddness of the class rep.

Now, Shinji was standing outside Rei's apartment holding the handouts. He got lost on the way from school, but soon recovered his pacing when he saw from a few blocks away the unmistakeable building compound in which Rei lived. He had spent the long walk re-evaluating and reworking his plan to ask Rei out– _'not 'out' on a date: friends go out, and hang out, right?'_

If Rei was home– he would make sure she was home, this time– he would wait patiently while Rei read through the hand outs, making sure she understood everything. Then, he could make some off hand comment about how Rei should really take better care of herself. He would ask what she was eating for dinner. It couldn't be something too good, and he was a good cook. She could come over and eat with him and Misato– or he could make something for her here.

'_This isn't going to work.' _He could try though. Back in the present, Shinji looked down at the mail slot. It was jam packed with letters, flyers, notices, and other packages. _'Well, now I have to go in,' _Shinji thought. _'She'll never see the handouts here.'_

Shinji rang the buzzer– forgetting it was broken– and waited. Looking down at his watch, he saw that three minutes had passed with no response. He hit the buzzer again and knocked on the door. After another minute Shinji checked the handle to see if the door was unlocked. The moment his hand turned it, the door gave way and Shinji jumped back.

Rei had opened the door from the other side. She was rubbing her eyes, and Shinji saw that she was only wearing a pair of bottoms underwear and her school button-up. As Rei looked up, she seemed confused and disoriented, but by no means embarrassed. Shinji figured his whole plan was shot, but he ought to give her the hands-out anyhow.

"Shinji. . .what is it?" Rei said feebly.

"Ah!" Shinji snapped out of– or back into– it. He had been looking at Rei's legs. They were even more pale than her face. She might have been a ghost. "I'm sorry, were you sleeping?"

"...The restart test took all evening."

"Oh! So Unit-01 is operational again?"

". . ."

"Eto. . .I came to– uh– deliver the hand-outs. As a thank you for. . .the hospital, yeah." Shinji stood there awkwardly for a moment, waiting for Rei to take the hand-outs. "Sorry for waking you."

Rei looked from Shinji's face to his hands, and saw the handouts. She turned around and opened the door wider. "Why don't you...come in for a while."

"I wouldn't want to intrude," Shinji protested.

Rei stared at him for a moment. She looked down at her feet, as if summoning up the courage to do something. When she look back up, Shinji saw Rei smile and say softly, "Please."

Shinji was in stunned silence, but he soon obeyed and Rei closed the door behind him. _'How can she live in such a dreary room. . .maybe I should have brought her some flowers.' _Shinji blushed, and noticed again how much trash was still strewn about the apartment.

Rei watched Shinji walk around the small apartment, and lay the hand-outs on the desk by her bed. "Shinji, your–"

Shinji stopped picking up the trash on the floor to respond to Rei's shocked tone. He smiled at her and threw the remaining trash into the trash can near the fridge. "I just thought you could use some help cleaning up. You seem really out of it, Rei." Shinji proceeded to close the boxes full of used bandages and pile them by the trash can. Rei watched as he picked up the trash and boxes and headed toward the door. "I'm going to take these to the trash shoot I saw on the way in."

". . .Thank you," Rei said.

Shinji smiled. "I'll be back to explain the hand-outs, if that's alight." Rei nodded.

As Shinji walked down the hall, Rei stood motionless inside her apartment. _'"I'm sorry". . ."Please". . ."Thank You". . .All words I've never used.' _Rei looked over to the glasses that lay upon her dresser. _'Not even with him.'_

"I'm back. Excuse my intrusion," Shinji said as he took off his shoes. "You here, Rei?" Shinji walked into the kitchen and saw Rei reaching into the cupboard. _'Wow. . .just seeing her standing in the kitchen, that's what's really weird.'_

Shinji noticed the tea pot heating on the stove, and saw in Rei's hand a box of tea leaves. She was staring at it puzzled. "How many tea leaves do you use to make tea?"

"Eh!"

Rei turned to Shinji. "I have tea here, but I've never made tea." Rei said, as if the thought of using anything in her apartment that wasn't a necessity was an odd, foreign concept.

"It's okay, you don't have to–"

"This much?" Rei held out a large scoop of leaves, rather dazedly.

"I think that's too much. . .Here let me–" But as Shinji walked towards her, Rei turned around and hit her hand against the burning hot tea pot. "Oh!" Shinji exclaimed. "Are you ok?"

Rei looked down at her hand cooly, but it was very red, and Shinji thought it must have blistered. "I just got burnt a little."

"Just!" Shinji seized Rei's hand and led her over to the sink. He turned the faucet on and said, "You have to run could water on it." The two pilots stood there silent: Shinji's hand holding Rei's finger under the water. The next thing Shinji noticed was Rei shifted her body uncomfortably. She was so close that Shinji could smell her scent. It wasn't like soap, or shampoo, or even perfume... but, despite the small trace of LCL, Shinji thought it was warm, and alluring–

"Oh..." Shinji let go of Rei as she shifted her body weight again. "I'll– uh– I'll make the tea. You just stay put."

"Ok," Rei responded obediently.

Once Shinji had finished making the tea, he sat down with Rei to explain the hand-outs. Rei didn't speak once or have any questions, except near the end, when Shinji noticed she hadn't drunk any of her tea. "It's such a pretty color," she explained. She took a sip. "You're good at making tea, Shinji." She wasn't looking at him, but Shinji blushed at her words.

"Thank you, Rei." Shinji finished up explaining the notes, and took their cups into the kitchen. He washed the cups and the pot, and put away the box of tea leaves. He was just about to pick up his bag and say goodbye when he remembered his plan. He spent a second or two in the kitchen building up his nerves. He turned around and nearly fell back over himself. Rei was standing inches away. "Ah!"

Shinji clutched at his chest, stopping mid-fall and leaning against the counter. Rei didn't seemed the least bit perturbed by all this activity. "Is something a matter, Rei?" Shinji asked, rather exasperated.

"Maybe you should try talking to your father."

"What are you–?"

"You were asking me about him, and about what we talk about. . .but I think it would be better if you just talked to him yourself." Shinji stood silent for a moment, refusing to look at Rei. He composed himself, and walked passed her out of the kitchen and toward his bag lying on the floor by her desk.

"Yeah. It's not like anything would change if we talked...but it's hard the way things are: I keep hating him, so how can I keep piloting the Eva for him." This was the first time Shinji fully admitted to himself that he had piloted the Eva for his father: to gain his approval– and not to spare the blue-haired girl the pain of piloting alone, or to impress the beautiful Captain.

"You should tell your father," Rei began, but she paused as Shinji delivered a fierce look at her. ". . .what your feeling. Otherwise nothing is going to change for you." Rei walked closer to Shinji. She was so close now that if Shinji would only reach out slightly, he would be able to hold her hand.

'_If only I extended my fingers...'_

'_If only I extended my fingers...'_

"I want you and your father to be together," Rei finished. She thought more truthfully, _'I want you to stop frowning. . .to stop crying. . .stop looking so sad.'_

". . . . . ." Shinji slowly brought his eyes to meet Rei's stare. "I'll try, Rei. Goodbye." Without another word or look, Shinji marched to the door, put on his shoes, and left.


	7. Chapter 12

**Flowers of Isolated Helpless**

As Shinji walked from Rei's back to Misato's apartment, two sounds struck him suddenly, one after another. First, his cellphone rang and– before his could even reach for his pocket– the emergency alarm sounded.

"Huh!" Shinji scanned the skies for any sign of the Kute-class, but the armored-skyscrapers of Ciudades del Cielo blocked his view. Another ring of his cell phone, and he picked it up. "Yes–"

"Where are you?" Misato's voice thundered from the receiver.

"Uh, Three blocks down from Rei's apartment on the way back to your–"

"Right! Stay there, I'm on my way. And get Rei with you!"

"Misato, how'm–!" but Misato had already hung up the phone. _'Great. . .should I go back for Rei? No. . .She has to come this way to get to Nerv, and she'll probably be running.'_

Sure enough, in a few minutes he saw Rei rounding the corner. But– _'Where's she going!'_ Rei was cutting across the street– _'A shortcut!'_

"Rei, wait!" She didn't hear him. _'I'll never catch her.' _Even as he said the words, Shinji's legs were hitting the ground as hard as his head could move them. He followed Rei into a back alley, but almost lost sight of her when his ears caught the deafening sound of LFO's overhead. But, unlike Rei, Shinji hadn't stopped running. He soon overtook Rei, who was looking up in stunned silence. "Rei, c'mon! Misato's gonna pick us up."

"They shouldn't be here," Rei said, unmoving.

"What are you saying? Let's go." Rei, still looking toward the sky, gave way and followed Shinji. The run back seemed much longer, but both of the pilots made it back to the corner in time to see Misato's blue car skid to a stop.

Misato threw open the passenger door to yell, "Get in!" Shinji closed the door behind himself and Rei, and without a seconds delay Misato speeded toward Nerv headquarters.

All around them, the two pilots heard shots being fired by enormous rifles, and the horrible screeching sounds of the anti-body coralians. "Misato," Shinji pleaded, "what's happening? Where is the Kute-class?"

Misato was silent for a moment. She had suspected for a time that the appearances of the Kute-class were engineered by someone. At first, she had thought it was obviously Seele, the bank behind Nerv– where the ideas of the Evas and mysterious _Human Instrumentality Project _came from. However, through more and more research, Misato was sure that someone else was pulling the strings: was it the Marduk Institute? or perhaps the United Federation? In any case, she was 100% sure now that the Kute-class coralians are **engineered**. The U.F.'s LFOs had been on route to Ciudades del Cielo 25 minutes before Nerv had any sign of a Kute-class appearing.

"It's above Nerv Headquarters," Misato finally answered.

"Commander," Rei spoke. "That isn't the problem." It wasn't a question.

"What's she mean, Misato?" No one answered Shinji. He remembered what Rei had said, _"They shouldn't be here."_ Something clicked inside his head. "They aren't our back up– are they, Misato?" No answer.

Misato picked up her phone and reported to Dr. Akagi on the other line, "This is O.D. Katsuragi, in route to deliver Unit-01's pilots. Have the Eva prepped and–"

"Negative," Ritusko cut across her, "Plan Second initiated."

"What!" Misato let go of the wheel– which Shinji promptly grabbed– and stuck her head out the window to look up at the sky. "Asuka!"

* * *

Three hours later, Shinji, Rei, Misato and– oddly enough– Toji and Kensuke waited atop Nerv's premier fortress skyscraper, watching a red Eva being lowered into the Geofront.

Shinji had only caught snapshots of the pilot's amazing performance, but he could already tell that, whoever they were, this pilot was in a different league from himself, and maybe even Rei.

Unit-02– Misato had said this was the red Eva's designation– had fallen from the sky with a single rifle. Before it entered the LFOs' sights, the pilot had fired off rounds that wiped out nearly half the fleet. Next, Shinji was able to see– once they had pulled the car off of the main road, and gotten out and behind cover– that the remaining LFOs had surrounded the Eva. However, just when he thought that the pilot was done for, the Eva extended its AT field, causing half of the LFOs to loose balance and fall off their boards, and the other half to be incapacitated due to their own rebounding bullets.

After approx. 23 minutes, the Kute-class phenomenon disappeared, and the anti-body coralians died. Clean-up was still taking place three hours later.

Back in the present, Toji stood stoically as Kensuke geek-ed out over every little movement and action of the Eva and Nerv personnel. Rei, per usual, had a look of disinterested attention, as she stared across the horizon, looking at nothing in particular. Misato was looking expectedly toward the Eva, and Shinji wondered how the introduction of this new pilot would change the happenings at Nerv. _'Do they even need me and Rei anymore?' _Alot of conflicting emotions lay behind this thought.

"Something wrong?" Misato asked, and Shinji looked up to acknowledge that he had heard her.

". . .So Unit-02 is red," Shinji said, hoping to steer the conversation off topic.

Suddenly, a loud and musical voice boomed from somewhere atop the Eva. "That's not all that's different about Unit-02!"

The whole company looked towards the Eva's head to see standing atop it the new pilot: a red haired, red clad girl about Shinji's age. She had a look of supreme self-confidence, and– if not for her proud, condescending look– was devastatingly beautiful. "Unit-00 and Unit-01 are a prototype and test type, respectively. But my Unit-02 is the first fully equipped, true Evangelion!"

As the red-haired pilot hopped down onto the platform, Misato gestured to her and looked toward the rest of the company. "May I introduce the ace of the United Federation Specialized Air Force: Captain Asuka Langley Soryu."

"Captain!" chorused the three boys. Rei remained disinterested, but turned to face her fellow pilot.

"Hi, Misato!" Asuka stopped to shake her hand, but quickly turned and ran over to Rei. "And you must be the Commander's pet: the first children: Rei Ayanami."

"Nice to meet you," Rei bowed and walked away.

'_Ice Queen,'_ thought Toji and Kensuke.

"Ice Queen," muttered Asuka. She then marched over to where the three boys stood. One was looking at her with a look of mingled scrutiny and distaste. One was dumbfounded and embarrassed. The last looked equally embarrassed, but this peculiarity seemed to be apart of his natural demeanor, rather than a reaction to the red haired pilot's fierce demeanor.

"So. . .which one is the third children?" The last boy jumped and mumbled something. Asuka moved in on him, leaning over to inspect him thoroughly. Without warning, the girl tripped Shinji, who easily fell off his feet. To keep him from getting back up, the girl stood over him. "So where were you when the enemy attacked!"

"Muh-bie," Shinji stuttered and blubbered.

"It's pathetic! I guess its true that the famous Third Children is a daddy's boy!"

"That's enough, Soryu!" From the stairs through which Rei exited came a silver haired boy. He was dressed in a black military uniform with red trim, and wore an exhausted look on his face. Shinji saw that the soldier was older than himself and the new pilot, but not yet in his twenties. He had hard, handsome features, was tall, and with his build could easily pass for a star runner.

Asuka looked over toward him with a completely different expression on her face: it went from stern and cold to wanting and jubilant. "Hey, Dewey! Where've you been?"

Before Asuka could make her way over to him, the soldier marched passed her, walking over Shinji, and stopped in front of Misato. He saluted and declared, "Forgive me, Major Katuragi."

"Major!" Kensuke exclaimed. Shinji took a mental note that Misato had been promoted.

The Silver haired soldier continued. "I didn't report to Nerv when I arrived. I was assigned to Captain Soyru, and wanted to make sure–AHH!" Asuka had jumped on the soldiers back and began pulling at his face.

Through his grunts and shouts of protest Shinji heard Asuka say, "Don't. . .iiiiggnnoorrreee. . .meeeeeeee, DDDEEWWWEEEYY!"

Eventually, Asuka was shaken off, and the silver haired boy had noticed Shinji. He walked over determinately, stopped, and saluted Shinji– who was flustered at such a overly respectful gesture. He almost wondered if the soldier had mistaken him for someone else, when–

"Shinji Ikari, Pilot of Unit-01," for a moment Dewey broke eye contact with Shinji, to look over to Misato, who nodded her head in confirmation that this was indeed Shinji. He then held out his hand, and Shinji took it sheepishly. "It's a pleasure to meet you. My name is Dewey Renton Novak III."

"Hi," Shinji managed after swallowing his nervousness. "I'm Shinji Ikari–"

"He already knows that, idiot." Asuka walked over and stood glaring at Shinji.

Ignoring her, Dewey continued, "I hope you and Captain Soryu will work well together, Mr. Ikari."

"Ah–well," Shinji looked over at the new pilot. Toji and Kensuke exchanged meaningful looks filled with a the response to the silver haired boys words– _'doubtful'_, they seemed to say. "You both can call me Shinji."

"Idiot Shinji," Asuka muttered. Shinji heard her, and its likely that Dewey heard as well, though he pretended not to and said, "Shinji, then. Feel free to call me Dewey."

"C'mon, Dewey!" Asuka pulled the soldier away by the arm. "Let's go register, and do all the boring stuff."

He allowed himself to be dragged by Asuka, and Misato gathered up Shinji and the boys. "Time to go: especially you Shinji. We should probably get home soon."

* * *

"Misato! What is all this!" Shinji had lagged behind at the car, while Misato went ahead up to the apartment. When Shinji had entered, before even looking up from the floor, he knew something was off. The usual smell of cooking and beer was masked by a faint layer of cardboard or– Shinji didn't know what. As he entered the hallway, Shinji saw boxes and boxes lining the walls. He made his way to his room and, sure enough, it was also filled with boxes: all marked _"Asuka Langley Soryu."_

"My room!"

"I thought it'd be obvious," Shinji heard a familiar, condescending voice to his left. It was the red haired pilot. "You've been replaced with the newer, better model!" Shinji stammered and stuttered, as Asuka cut across him. "I don't like it either Third Children! Why should I need a guardian! And look at these rooms!" Asuka took hold of the door and began sliding it open and close. "They're so small! I couldn't even fit half my stuff in it. And why are there no locks! Do the Vodarak have no modesty or what!"

"Our way is to consider others before ourselves, and I suggest you get use to it." Misato's sudden appearance gave both of the pilots a shock. "You'll be living with us, Asuka, because its important that all the pilots get along. No, Shinji, your not being kicked out. So live peacefully with each other." Misato's tone was sweet, but the two pilots eyed each other with a look that said, _'doubtful'_.

"That's an order," Misato added.

The rest of the night was spent moving boxes, cooking dinner, and cleaning up the apartment. Well, at least, Shinji did all of these things. Misato spent the night in the shower, drinking beer, and catching up on paper work, while Asuka shouted complaints and orders at Shinji. But even Asuka couldn't find a problem with the food– which, of course, Shinji made.

Surrounded by boxes, Shinji tried to get some sleep on the floor futon. His mind was flooded with thoughts about Rei, his father, Dewey Novak. . .and the second child. _'Asuka Langley Soyru. She's not a bad person; but I don't think she thinks much of me.'_ Why should she? Just cause Rei gave him some attention doesn't mean he was worth anymore than he was before Eva came into his life. _'She's probably just pitying you, anyway.'_ With this comforting thought, Shinji drifted off to sleep.

* * *

The next morning, since it wasn't Shinji's turn to cook, by the time he was out of bed Asuka was gone. Slothfully, Shinji got ready for school, saying goodbye to a passed out Misato on his way through the door.

He reached the school quickly enough, but did not run into Rei along the way. Like always, Shinji entered the classroom to see Rei staring out the window. "Good Morning," Shinji announced.

"Hey, Shin-man!" Toji called out. Shinji walked over to both him and Kensuke, setting his things down on his desk.

"We got a new transfer student today," Kensuke informed him. "Yeah," Toji added dreamily, "hope its a babe."

"Stand!" The class rep. demanded as the door flew open to reveal the homeroom teacher. "Bow. Be Seated."

The teacher was an old man, much too qualified for his high school teaching position, yet enjoying his retirement as a simple, homeroom teacher. "Now, let's see," he said to himself as he put on his reading glasses and read his notice schedule for today. "Ah, yes. We have a new transfer student. Please Miss, come in and introduce yourself."

The door was flung open and before the class could breathe, Toji and Kensuke chorused, "NO WAY!"

"Keep it down, you apes!" shouted Hikari.

The red haired transfer student didn't stir. Her radiant smile and confident demeanor seemed to eclipse everyone else in the classroom. "I'm Asuka Langley Soyru. Charmed, ya?"


	8. Chapter 13

**Flourish**

By the end of the school day, Asuka Langley Soryu was the most popular student in the entire school. "Call it animal magnetism," Kensuke said when all the girls and boys crowded around Asuka during each and every class break, lunch, and last bell.

"Ha!" scoffed Toji. "Surprised that she-devil could keep it up that long." He was of course referring to the red haired beauty's– Shinji called it, in his head, her 'split-personality'. To the "three stooges", which was Asuka's pet nickname for Shinji-Toji-Kensuke, she was the snarky, sarcastic, haughty pilot they had met climbing off the Eva, but to everyone else she was– well, Shinji thought, she was acting like she did with Dewey.

'_I wonder which is the real her,'_ Shinji pondered as he saw Asuka walk toward the bench where Rei was sitting after school. Half the school was still following her.

"Hi! Sorry about the whole 'director's pet' thing– it was just a joke! Let me properly introduce myself," Asuka flourished her hair back magnificently. "I'm Asuka Langley Soryu. Let's be good friends!"

Rei had endured her fellow pilot's flaunting without looking up from her book. "Why?"

A slight twitch passed across Asuka's face, but her back was to everyone except Rei, so no one notice. "Because," she said with strained kindness, "it would be convenient."

Rei closed her book and began to walk off. "I will if I'm ordered to." Asuka watched her go, breaking her cheery demeanor for a moment. "Freak-a-zoid," she muttered to herself. "Oh," Asuka said, as she followed Shinji with her eyes. He was running after the first children. "So it's like that. . ."

Shinji caught up to Rei quickly enough, but didn't say anything for half a block. He walked right next to her. She had stopped reading when Shinji had caught up, put the book away, but continued walking silently. _'She doesn't seem to mind. I should say something,'_ but Shinji couldn't think of what. . .except–

"I didn't know," Shinji began, apropos of nothing, "that other countries were also making Evas. . .or that there were other pilots. . .Did you know, Ayanami?"

Without looking at him, Rei responded, "Yes."

"Hmmm. . ." The two continued to walk in silence. _'She looks no different than before, but even when she doesn't smile...'_

The two had come to a bridge, and though Shinji didn't notice, it was the point at which he had to turn right down the street to get to Misato's apartment, and Rei had to turn left. Rei's voice alerted him of this: "See you later, Shinji."

"Ah– wait," Shinji definitely didn't want to go home, where Asuka was sure to be waiting for him. "I'll walk you back, if it's alright."

Rei turned back to face him, still stoic, and pointed to a point some twenty feet behind Shinji. He looked back and saw two figures rush behind a building. After a few seconds, Toji and Kensuke's heads popped out from behind the corner. _'Those two,'_ Shinji thought with a good deal of anger and frustration. He turned quick to see Rei walking away. "Ok, see you later then!"

A heavy sigh escaped Shinji's mouth, and before he could catch his breathe again, Toji hit him hard on his upper back. "What was dat about?"

"C'mon," Kensuke told both of them. "I want to check out this supply store before heading home."

"Supplies?" Shinji said distractedly, as he followed both of them down the street.

"Military supplies," explained Toji, rolling his eyes. "Ya should see 'im out in da wreckage playin' soldier." Then Toji rounded on Shinji again. "Don't try to slink outta dis!"

"Ayanami! She talked to you. She's never just talk to someone like that before!" Kensuke was peering at Shinji so closely, that Shinji was actually beginning to miss Soryu.

"Somethin' happened between youse, didntn't?"

"Like what?" Shinji said innocently.

"Dammit Ikari," Kensuke said. "You always get the good parts. Can't you just be satisfied living with such a beauty."

"Ha!" Shinji scoffed seriously, "You wouldn't be saying that if you knew what a slob she was. Not to mention how absolutely terrible Soryu is in the morning– oh, excuse me. **Captain **Sory–"

'_Shit!' _Shinji thought before Toji and Kensuke descended upon him like a couple of hungry dogs.

"Youse gotta be kiddin' me!" Toji began shaking Shinji furiously: the latter had resigned himself.

Kensuke, on other hand, was nearly in tears. "I'll never forgive you, Shinji. . .Shinji . . .Shinji! Ayanami– she...she called you Shinji!"

* * *

Shinji was glad to be home. Toji and Kensuke had kept him till well into the night– good thing it was Misato's turn to make dinner. After the verbal interrogation and beating he just endured, even Asuka's complaining wasn't that bad. After Shinji got out of the shower, Rei's advice had come back to him, and he headed back to his room and pulled out the cellphone Misato had given him.

As he lay face up on his bed, Shinji stared at the phone for a long time. Finally, with a scowl on his face, he hit send.

"_. . ."_

"Uh...um," Shinji was trying to respond to the dead air on the other end of the line. "This is Shinji Ikari. Is the commander– is Commander Ikari there?"

"_...Just a moment, please."_

"..." He gulped. "Shinji, what is it?" His father's voice.

"Uh. . .eto..."

"If you have something to say–"

"Do you remember what day it is tomorrow?"

"...What day?"

'_I knew it.'_

"Tomorrow?" Gendo Ikari's voice was impatient. "What about it?"

"Oh, well...nothing. I was just wondering if you wanted to have lunch tomorrow. "

". . .No, I'm busy. Do not call unless it's important." The dial tone rang out as he hung up.

'_What a useless father,' _Shinji thought; then out loud, "Tomorrow: It's the anniversary of Mom's death, father."

"You as well: No mom, huh?" The female voice was casual, but something in it sounded condescending– definitely not Misato– she would be teasing him.

"What are you doing in my ro– hey!" Shinji jumped back as Asuka sat on the edge of the bed. "Say. . " she said, eyeing Shinji with interest, and a hint of disgust. "Do you have a father complex?"

"Now what are you yammering about!" This topic was the only thing that could make Shinji stand up to Asuka.

"I'm right, right? You wanted to have lunch with the commander, didn't you? Now you're all depressed because he said no."

Shinji's face was red, but he calmed himself down and turned away from the red haired pilot. "Look...I don't have a complex. I hate him. I hate that he's my father. But. . .I don't want to hate him– it's jut how I feel deep down inside."

Asuka surveyed him for a while, then said airily. "Sounds like a complex to me."

Shinji was about to yell back at her, but he paused when he recalled Asuka's first words. "What about your father and mother?"

"My mother's dead." Asuka didn't look angry or sad when she said it, but there was a coldness in her voice– as if she had forced herself not to care about it, like Shinji. Asuka looked over toward Shinji, and read the question behind his eyes instantly. "She died testing Unit-02, over ten years ago."

'_We really are alike,'_ thought Shinji. _'Yet we act so differently.'_ Asuka seemed to read his thoughts yet again. "I don't have a father."

"Did he die, too?"

"Nope never had one in the first place." Shinji had a puzzled look on his face. "I was conceived in a test tube. . .what's your problem!" Shinji's blankness and– if he was honest with himself– slight revulsion must have shown on his face. "Listen, I'm not just any test-tube baby! I was specifically born through the combination of elite genes. Which means," she continued when Shinji still had a puzzled look on his face, "that I was a chosen being: a special person!"

"_So that's what she was really trying to say.' _Shinji looked Asuka up and down. _'But how does an elite turn out to be as dysfunctional as this girl.'_

"But don't you get lonely?" Shinji managed to say after a long silence. "Having no family, I mean."

"That doesn't matter to me either way." Asuka's face was now both sad and serious. "As long as I can pilot the Eva, fight and defeat the coralians, and help save mankind from the Third Impact. . .and if everyone acknowledges those accomplishments, then I'll be happy." Asuka now looked as if she had forgotten Shinji was there. "And. . .there's Dewey."

"Dewey? You like him that much, huh?"

"EEEHHHH!" Asuka looked toward Shinji incredulously. "I– well. It's not that I don't, but. . ." Asuka put her fingers together and looked very sheepish. "He just ignores me all the time. I mean, I was in love with Mr. Kaji, but he told me that I should look for someone my own age– and I know he was right, I mean I even. . ." Once again she looked up at Shinji. "GOD! Why the hell do I have to tell YOU all this! STUPID SHINJI!"

'_It's not like I asked to hear your life story,'_ Shinji looked away and thought to himself, but in a moment Asuka was hitting him up and down with his own pillow. "Will you knock it off already."

Outside, in the kitchen, the noise had sobered Misato up for a moment. She spoke to Pen pen, who was half as drunk as she was, "Guess those two are getting along well enough. I think. . ." Pen pen squawked.

Back in the room, Asuka had calmed down, but she hadn't left Shinji's bed. Shinji was extremely uncomfortable. _'I wish she would leave, or at least say something.'_

Then Asuka said, suddenly, "So have you and the first kissed yet?" Shinji stammered and chocked on his own shocked. Asuka stared at him dryly.

"Wha're y'talkin' 'bout!"

"C'mon," Asuka said. "It's obvious that you two are together." Asuka stared at him blankly. "Don't quite get the whole puppet attraction, though," she added.

"We–were," Shinji was red again. "We aren't like that!"

"Oh," Asuka said sarcastically, "it that so?"

"Really," Shinji said pleadingly. He calmed himself by looking away from Asuka. "What I feel for Rei– Ayanami." Shinji added quickly, "it doesn't go with words. Things like 'like' and 'want to go out with', aren't what I feel. It's as if she's part of me that was torn away a long time ago."

"Boy, are you dense," Asuka said. This time, it was Shinji who had momentarily forgotten that the other was in the room.

"What do you mean?" demanded Shinji.

"Isn't that what love is?" Asuka asked, half-sincerely. "Your other half: soulmate: the person you care about so much that you can't even think of words to describe it." Shinji pondered over her words for a moment. He wasn't sure what he felt for Rei, but it wasn't exactly all _that_. Asuka sighed loudly and she began to walk towards the door, bringing Shinji back. "I wish Dewey felt like that for me."

* * *

Shinji had a strange dream that night. It felt more like a memory. He was in a park, playing with the other children his age– about 7 or 8 years old. After a moment or two, the kids all ran to their mothers, and he was left sitting in the dirt. But he could still hear them say:

"_Look. . .It's him, Look! Poor little thing...Did you hear about his father? He's some kind of mad scientist! ...I heard the boy's mother was killed in one of his experiments. How horrible, to make your own wife into a guinea pig."_

'_Stop it,' _Shinji thought.

"_But there's more! Then he abandoned him...he hasn't come to see him once. . .Oh! Poor little thing." _

'_Stop it. What do you know...Waddya you know about my father?' _That was his last thought before the dream ended.

The next morning Shinji had gotten up early, made Asuka and Misato's breakfast and lunch, and packed up his bag with some snacks and homework– it would be a long way to the cemetery.

* * *

'_How many years has it been?' _Shinji thought to himself, as he made his way up the row of graves. _'When was I last here? I still can't believe that Mom's asleep–' _Shinji surveyed the endless sight of graves in every direction. _'beneath a place like this. . .I don't even remember what she looked like. . . !'_

Shinji had looked up and seen a tall man standing a few inches away at his mother's graves. He was laying flowers there; and as he stood up he looked toward Shinji. "Shinji," the glasses-clad man said with a tone of mixed surprise and sadness.

"Father," Shinji responded, surprised that the man he hated would have any emotion in his voice at all. "I can't believe it: you came to visit her grave...Do you come every year?"

"...Yes," Gendo Ikari responded simply, reminding Shinji horribly of Rei. Shinji decided once again to take Rei's advice. But what could they talk about? _'Mom...'_

"What...was mom like?" There was no response. Gendo had turned his back to look at the grave. "Do you have any pictures of her?"

"No."

"So, it's like uncle said," Shinji said with desperate laughter in his voice. "You burned everything."

"Yes," his father responded– then, "Even this grave is just for show. Nothing remains. . .In the mind: that's all that's needed, for now."

'_For now?'_ Shinji thought lazily.

"Shinji," the commanders voice regained its authority. He looked into Shinji's eyes then turned to walk away. "Don't look for my anymore."

"What are you saying?" Shinji said, perplexed and desperate.

"People only live by their own strength," the Commander had stopped walking, but did not turn to face Shinji. "They only grow by their own strength. . .Only infants need parents, and you are no longer an infant. Stand. On you own two feet, and walk...I learned to do the same."

Shinji's voice now showed his desperation. He was rasping and choking on his breathe, soundlessly. All he managed to get was: "But. . .I–"

The Commander turned slightly, so that he could see Shinji out of the corner of his eye. "Don't try to think we can understand one another. For some reason, people think that– Remember they can't: never completely. Never enough." Hearing his father's words had steadied Shinji some how. He closed off his heart, and his face became cold– if he could see himself, he might be terrified to see how like his father he looked. "People are such sad creatures."

Shinji could barely hear his last words. A Nerv, aerial transport vehicle had touched ground a few yards away. In a moment, Gendo Ikari had walked away and entered the vehicle. Before it pulled away from the ground, Shinji saw through one of its windows that Rei was there inside the massive transport.

"_Stand. On you own two feet, and walk..."_ Shinji felt that was it: that was his advice: those were his first and last words as a father.

* * *

On the large transport, Gendo Ikari had taken a seat across from Rei. "How's it going, Rei?" She had been staring out the window toward Yui's grave, trying to see how long she could keep sight of Shinji. Gendo asked again, when he saw Rei face him, "How do you feel?"

"Oh," Rei snapped to attention, "No problems. I'm going to see Dr. Akagi tomorrow, and to school the day after that."

"I see. And school? How is it?"

Rei had looked back, out of the window. She could not longer tell Yui's grave from the thousands of others. "No problems."

"I see. That's fine." Rei had stolen a glance back at the Commander.

'_All we_ _talk about is work. He seems to care about me, but he's really thinking about someone else. Shinji...'_ Rei grasped her finger, which was still wrapped in the band-aid Shinji had put on it days before, when she had burned herself. _'I'm the one, for whom nothing is going to change.' _


	9. Chapter 14

**Easy to Smile**

Shinji didn't get back to Misato's apartment till after dinner that day, and found that Asuka had gone to spend the night with the class rep. Hikari Horaki. _'One day and she was able to make a close friend,' _Shinji supposed that he admired his fellow pilot.

"Hey, Shinji," Misato called from the bathroom, "You have a couple of messages on the cellphone I gave you." Shinji decided he would take a shower in the morning. He grabbed his cell phone off his desk, and laid down upon the bed in his room, which was still filled with the red haired pilot's things.

"_...You have two new messages. First Message:_

"_Hey, Shinji! It's Kensuke. We definitely need to throw a celebration party for Misato's promotion. We'll invite Toji, and you can invite Rei! ...Oh, and I guess the class rep. is coming to– I already talked to Asuka about it, and she insisted on it being a moving-in party for her as well. I was thinking tuesday, since we only have morning classes. Call me back!"_

"_Second Message:_

"_Hey, stupid Shinji! What was with breakfast this morning? By the time I woke up it was already cold! And where were you? Probably over at the first children's house, huh? God, your such a perv! Anyways, we're having a party Tuesday, so be sure to cook something good: Dewey and Mr. Kaji are going to be there, too!"_

Shinji sighed. _'A party, huh? ...I've never been good with things like that.'_ Another sigh, and then sleep began to overtake Shinji. _'Oh well. . .'_

Monday came and went without incident. Asuka abused him all the way to school, ignored him completely after that, and walked with Hikari on her way back home– Rei didn't show up at all that day. She didn't show up for morning classes on tuesday either. Shinji left a message on her Nerv phone, but he doubted she would come to the party that day– or even listen to the message at all.

Shinji began cooking as soon as he arrived home. He was hard at work when Asuka arrived, and began criticizing every thing he did, and occasionally trying to help– with nearly disastrous results. Thankfully, Dewey was the first person to show up: an hour early.

"I live right down the hall," Dewey explained to Shinji. "So I can be more available to Captain Soryu." Asuka smiled deviously at Shinji, as if to say that she was closer to her target than Shinji was to his.

Asuka left the kitchen to "get ready", but Dewey stayed at the table in the kitchen. If there was anyone Shinji could be in a comfortable silence with it was Dewey. Something about him was reassuring. His confidence wasn't like Asuka's at all: it wasn't smothering or intimidating, but seemed to clothe everyone around him with the same self-assurance.

Never the less, Shinji thought he should try to have a conversation with him. Something, as if responding to his desire, jumped out from his memory. "Novak..." Shinji didn't mean to say it that loud, and he immediately turned around to see Dewey's reaction.

Dewey was already staring back at him. "That's right," he said in a cheerful tone, yet without smiling. "My Great-grandfather was Holland Novak: the rebel leader of the Gekko-state. His brother was Colonel Dewey Novak, for who I– and my father, and his father– am named."

"My uncle was a ref-boarded," Shinji tried to excuse himself. "I remember Holland from the cover of an old magazine called Ray=out." They both continued to look at each other, till Shinji forced himself to speak again. "And Dewey Novak– eto– that's the hero who died trying to prevent Second Impact."

"That's the official story, yes." Dewey's face hardened, and his tone was no longer cheerful. "Shinji, you don't know anything about the origins of Nerv, do you?"

Shinji thought he ought to protest and be offended, but he couldn't muster any strength for either. "I don't."

Dewey broke eye contact and sighed. "I don't think it's my place to tell you about Nerv, but let me say this. That story is a lie." Shinji almost faltered under the look Dewey was giving him. "Dewey Novak was a misguided mad-man who attempted to destroy the Scub Coral along with the world. In other words, he tried to initiate the Third Impact that everyone fears. Holland Novak was a rebel of the army, who guided the son of the hero Adrock Thurston– Renton, for who I am also named. This boy, no older than yourself, communicated with the Scub Coral and managed to convinced them to stop the supposed Third Impact. Instead, what we call 'Second Impact' occurred, and half of the world's population– half a billion people– was taken into the Scub Coral itself."

Dewey took a breath, and his face softened. "Dr. Katsuragi, the greatest researcher of the Scub Coral, since Adrok himself– and yes, Misato's father," he added in response to Shinji's perplexed countenance. "He believed that these people did not die, but simply became apart of the Scub Coral– living in a world with no pain, doubt, or death– completely synchronized with the Coralians' mass consciousness."

Dewey stopped speaking, and took a sip of his tea. "Of course," his tone was casual again. "With my families' background, I was the natural choice to oversee Captain Soryu. More than that, I felt it was my responsibility. I believe that she, along with you and the Miss Ayanami, can prevent Third Impact. She is an amazing pilot. And I know she seems brash, but she has a remarkably kind heart. Please try to work well with her."

"She likes you," Shinji couldn't think of anything else to say– the words just blurted out from his mouth.

"Eh?" Dewey looked up once more from his tea.

"Asuka, I mean," Shinji clarified. "She likes you. . .uh, I thought it was obvious," he finished quietly.

Dewey sighed and took another sip of tea. "I know." Now Shinji was startled. "I feel the same way about her. We've known each other since she was five and I was nine. My father worked at the Tresor laboratory where she was raised. For a long time she felt like a sister to me; but a couple of years ago she started stalking a foreign inspector who was working at the base–"

"Mr. Kaji," Shinji supplied.

Dewey almost laughed. "Yeah: and I was surprised as anyone to find that I was jealous. But Shinji, listen," A fixed look came over his face once again. "Don't be getting any romantic notions. You're both Eva pilots, who live together– I'm sure you've heard the way she talks about it. If it came down to either me or the Eva...she would choose the Eva."

Shinji was ready to protest, but Dewey silenced him by simply lifting his hand. "I feel the same way, Shinji. If it comes down to preventing Third Impact, and living carefree with her somewhere far off: I'd choose the former. More than that, I would never force her to make that choice with me. I wouldn't want her to run away. It's our responsibility...and it's yours too, Shinji."

The last words struck Shinji like a bullet, but before he could process everything that was just said to him, the door bell rang and Kensuke arrived. A second later, Toji burst through the door as well.

By the time Shinji had finished cooking, Hikari had also arrived and Asuka had finished "getting ready". Oddly enough, though Shinji was sure that Asuka had put on a dress and her make-up for Dewey's sake, she wasn't paying him any special attention. She was talking to Hikari, and eyeing Toji suspiciously.

"So, you're really living with Ikari?" Hikari asked.

"Yep," Asuka said, taking a drink. "I have to: strategic reasons."

"Say, Asuka," Hikari asked after complimenting Shinji on his cooking. "Is Mr. Kaji coming over, too? You keep talking about him." Shinji glanced over at Dewey, who was sipping his tea as if no one else was there.

"Well," Asuka wondered, "I've been calling him...but not a word in three days. I want to see him, too."

"HA!" Misato gave a loud, sardonic scoff. "He saaaiid he was off on a 'business trip'," Misato gave a loud snort. "Dog! Probably sniffing some girls butt even as we–"

"Hey, everybody!" A robust, handsome-sounding voice came from somewhere near the front door. Then–

"Mr. Kaji!" Asuka shouted with the same false sweetness, energy, and jump that she had greeted Dewey with the first day Shinji saw them on top of the roof. In seconds, Asuka was around Kaji's neck, then leading him by the hand to the table, only a few feet away. Misato nearly choked on her beer.

Asuka looked over to Misato, then back to Kaji, then back to Misato. "Do you two...know each other?"

Misato downed the rest of her beer, opened another, and began chugging that one. Kaji surveyed the room with a look of pleasant surprise on his face. "Ooohh, so you haven't told anyone, eh, Katsuragi?"

"What do you mean?" Asuka pleaded with a pathetic tone to her voice.

Kaji ignored her. Instead, he looked toward Shinji. "I thought, as her roommate, you would at least know, Shinji Ikari." Shinji looked up with a confused indifference. With a wink Kaji said, "You're not the only one who knows how she looks in bed."

A collective: "EEEEHHHHHHH?" –issued from the room. Misato simultaneously chocked on her beer and did a spit take. Dewey, peaceful as a buddha, took another sip of his tea.

"Oh, Kaji!" Asuka's voice was as falsely sweet and pleading as ever. "Don't tell me you and her were...were...together."

"That was a long time ago," Kaji said reminiscently. "Not long enough," Misato retorted.

Toji was the first one to move on to a new topic, after he had realized that Kaji and Dewey were the only two men on the planet that could rouse Asuka's sweetness. "I think it's just laudatory, da glowin' manner you bestow on dese dude. Can we possibly hope for summadat indulgeneceness upon our unwor'dy selves?"

In a whisper, Asuka said while chewing her food, "In your dreams."

Without skipping a beat, Toji skooted over to Dewey and said, blocking from Asuka's view his mouth with his hand, "Hey Mister, awordda advice. She 'as a pretty face, but she's bitch t'da bone."

"–Hey!" Asuka yelled, "What are you saying to Dewey!"

Toji continued, "She's vicious, vulgar, n'violent."

"Shut up, stooge!"

Ignoring her, "She plays all sugar-sweet, but ya know..." Toji was really getting theatrical with his monologue. "Beneath dat frosted goodness lies–"

"I said," Asuka cocked her arm. "SHUT UP!" Toji was on the floor: Shinji had a flashback of his first meeting with Toji– he thought that he had taken the hit better. Whether it be his face or his pride, Asuka's punch had injured Toji bad enough to knock him out cold.

Asuka snapped out of her rage, and looked back to the rest of the room. Everyone, including Dewey, was up and out of their seats, staring at what had just transpired. "Um–err...Gee!" Asuka adopted her sweet tone once again. "I just nudged him and he fell right over."

Now, Shinji thought it must have been Toji's pride, for the added injury of Asuka's lie woke him from his stooper. With a shout he rose from the ground, "You lie like a mattress! It ain't gonna work! Yer true colors's exposed!"

Misato said, trying to lighten the mood, "It doesn't exactly come as a surprise."

Swallowing a bite of food, Kaji added, "Asuka's not that good an actress."

"But–!" Asuka looked away from everyone, "I'm not acting."

"Asuka," Dewey had gotten up and laid his hand on her shoulder. She couldn't look at him. He said in a whisper, that Shinji managed to hear, "Look, your foster parents aren't here. You don't have to force yourself to be a good girl."

Asuka looked back to see everyone– save Toji, who was rubbing his cheek– smiling at her. Shinji smiled, and Asuka rubbed something out of her eye. Her eyes narrowed as she walked toward Shinji. "There's something I've been meaning to say, Shinji." Shinji didn't like where this was going, but before he could get away, Asuka had him in a head lock. "I CAN'T STAND YOU!"

"Ow! Lay off me! Lemmo Go!"

By the end of the night, everyone was worn out from the great party. Kaji and Hikari were the first to leave, the latter because she had a curfew, followed by Toji and Kensuke– and finally Dewey.

Shinji took a shower, lay down in his bed, and tried to calm the headache– he had never talked so much with so many people, and his brain raged against the overwork. His thoughts were filled with reliving the night, and slowly they drifted to Rei.

'_Tonight was the first time in my life I was ever at a real party...with real friends. Even Asuka, I think.'_ His neck was still stiff from Asuka's beating. _'I didn't know anything could feel so good. . .But, I wish Rei would have been there.' _

Shinji thought that even if she had come, he wouldn't have been able to talk to her in front of the others– Toji and Kensuke would probably have made things between him and Rei worse by pressuring both of them to "confess" or something. Yet, he couldn't deny that he was sad that Rei wasn't there. _'I miss, Rei.' _Shinji smiled at the thought that he actually wanted to be around someone. He stopped thinking so that sleep would grip him and tomorrow would come sooner. Hopefully, Rei would be back at school.


	10. Chapter 15

**The Heretic anthem**

The night of Misato's and Asuka's party, Seele met to discuss the recent mis-calculation.

"This is impossible," voiced the opinion of one member.

"And yet we must accept the impossible and determine how it came to be."

"This," a third member held up a binder, passing it to the man on his left, "may shed some light on the matter." Each looked over it briefly, passed it on, till it reached the Chairman.

Finally, the Chairman spoke. "Ryoji Kaji...This is how Ikari knew of the attack on Nerv Headquarters."

"And knowing that, he sallied Task 02: the second children."

"In the meantime, let us approve the long delayed repairs on Unit-00. Now that Ikari has Unit-02, he will have no reason to continue this blasphemous trespass– using his son as the instrument. Unit-01 will be frozen."

"This man," the member, who had first presented the folder, re-oriented the conversation, "was part of the Adolescent Re-adjustment program at Tresor–" every face tensed "–and his parents were Vodarac extremist."

Silence...then the Chairman spoke, "Allow him to continue, and he will become a bane: both to Ikari and to Human Instrumentality. . .Will you tolerate this vermin, or see if we make the first move?"

* * *

A month later, Shinji woke up extra early the next morning to make an extra bento lunch. After a month of no Coralian attacks, no LFOs, and routine– "boring!" Asuka would rage– synch. tests; of lunch with Toji and Kensuke, arguments with Asuka, and small talks with Rei, Shinji had gathered the courage to execute his plan. _"Just wait for them to leave– wait for Hikari to distract Asuka– and get Rei out of the room to eat lunch with you. She'll want to eat lunch with you," _the last part Shinji was willing to be true.

Asuka woke up just as Shinji was finishing breakfast, and he was glad to see that she was in a good mood. _'Must have something to do with Dewey,'_ thought Shinji, as Misato woke up– with a hangover. Together, Shinji and Asuka walked to school. Mostly, the walked in silence, but occasionally Asuka would make the derogatory comment about his cooking, how he dressed, how he walked, what he said, or how he said it.

Rei did come to school that day, and morning classes passed without incident, and by the time lunch came around Shinji had almost forgotten his plan. "Oh man, ya gotta thank da gods for lunch!" Toji said as he walked out to buy his lunch with Kensuke. Quite unnecessarily, as the two had already assumed that Shinji would stay behind to eat his bento, Shinji yelled after them, "Ah– I'll wait here then!"

Seconds later, Asuka made a dazzling display of grabbing Hikari's hand and leading her out of the classroom, saying much too loudly, "C'mon, Hikari. I don't wanna be around when the two (of the three) stooges get back."

'_Lucky!' _Shinji exclaimed in his head. It had already been a miracle that Asuka hadn't noticed the extra bento in his bag on their way to school, but this was almost too good to be true.

Rei, of course, was completely oblivious to the goings on of the class, and didn't notice Shinji approaching. "Eto...Rei?" She looked up and toward Shinji, and was surprised to see the second bento he was holding up to show her. "This is for you: since I never see you eating lunch, I decided to make an extra one." Shinji held the bento closer, and Rei took it from him.

"Thank you," she said quietly. Rei was about to open it, when she noticed that Shinji hadn't moved from standing near her desk. She looked up at his face: her eyes moved from his eye to his lips.

"W-would you–umm...like to eat together, Rei?"

"Oh," Rei's chest tightened, and she felt warm, "Yes."

"Rright," Shinji looked outside the window to see if the courtyard was empty. It was. _'Lucky!'_

Rei followed Shinji out of the classroom and down the back staircase– hoping to avoid Kensuke and Toji, which they managed. Shinji picked a spot behind a large Sakura tree in the corner of the courtyard, just in case his friends looked out of the classroom window to look for him.

"Thank you for the meal," Rei said, before using her chopsticks to dig in. She put the first bite into her mouth tentatively, and chewed. She swallowed and said, to no one in particular, "It's good."

Shinji also began to eat, but mostly he just watched Rei in silence. He was surprised at her pacing. She began slowly enough, but soon she began shifting her food around, eating particular things quickly. Shinji never considered that Rei might be a picky eater.

"Um...Is there something wrong, Rei?" Shinji asked.

"No, I–" Rei swallowed the rest of her food, looking determinately away from Shinji, "just don't eat meat."

"Oh, ah– I'm sorry," Shinji said; and at that moment he forgot all about his plan to ask Rei out. "I'll remember that next time."

"Next time?" Rei said, looking up. Shinji hadn't realized he said that last sentence out loud.

"Well, if it's alright with you. I already make lunch for Asuka and Misato: I would like to make lunch for you too."

"...Ok," Rei said quietly. Shinji noticed she had turned back towards her food. The shade of the tree cast a shadow on her face, and her bands hid her eyes, but Shinji could have swore that Rei was blushing.

Rei had finished eating, but Shinji found that he had hardly touched his food. Now, Rei sat looking out at the courtyard, while Shinji ate in silence. _'Say something,'_ Shinji still couldn't remember his plan, not that he had the confidence to ask Rei out in any case. His mind drifted back to their last conversation.

"Is something wrong?"

"Huh?" Rei was staring at him.

"It looks as if you're depressed," Rei explained her question– she was beginning to learn how to talk to Shinji. _'He never let's others in...' _Rei thought as Shinji looked at her dumbfounded. She also thought that Shinji would make an exception for her: it would certainly make things easier.

"Maybe. I don't know," Shinji put away his food, and looked down contemplatively. "Like you told me, I tried to talk to my dad, but...well, It was no good. I don't think my dad and I will ever talk again."

"Oh–" was all Rei could think to say. The two sat in silence for a while longer, till something inside Rei told her that lunch was almost over. "We should head back to class, now."

There was a look in Shinji's eye: one that Rei had seen in him before: one that made Rei feel...feel..._'feel. Shinji makes me feel in a way that the Commander never has.' _Rei was startled once again, when Shinji adopted his false smile and said, "Yeah, I'll see you later, then."

'_He's sad again.' _Rei stood up and began to follow Shinji, closely at the heel. As they walked across the courtyard, Rei was trying to think of something to say. She accepted now that Shinji and his father would never be as close as she hoped, and she couldn't do anything about that. What could she do? _'I can make him forget about everything that hurts him...for a little while.' _

"Shinji," Rei blushed at saying his name out loud again. Shinji didn't notice this time.

"Yes, Rei?"

"I would like it if you made me lunch tomorrow. . ." Shinji was about to respond, but he still had that uncanny sense that Rei wasn't done speaking. ". . .Could you come with me after school, so I can wash and return this to you." She held up the bento's case.

"Ah– b–I," Shinji, against every natural impulse, stopped himself from being apologetic, and managed a firm, "Yes!" Then he remembered, "But I have hallway cleaning duty today. I wouldn't want to keep–"

Rei shook her head. "I have class duty today, so it will be all right."

* * *

Ryoji Kaji was hardly around for that past month, and Asuka complained to Shinji everyday. Kaji, for his part, was traveling all around The United Vodarac Socialist Republic searching for answers. He knew that Nerv was tracking him, but he thought that he had shaken his tail long enough to check out this last location– which happened to be an abandoned office complex.

'_It's the same as all the others,'_ Kaji thought, as he spun a broken down office chair. _'The Marduk Group: An "advisory body" under the direct authority of the United Federations Human Instrumentality Committee. Its charter says that their purpose is to select the Evangelion pilots.'_

Kaji pulled out a long list and crossed out another name, address, and serial number. _'There are 108 firms linked to the Marduk Group. The first 106 turned out to be dummy corporations. And there were no surprises here for the 107th.'_

He sat down in the office chair and lit a cigarette. _'I haven't figured out yet just what those 108 strings are really trying to pull. . .But I think I know the man who's pulling them.'_

* * *

"Off yer ass, Shinji! Clean up dis revoltin' mess!"

"That hurt! Don't hit me like that, Toji!" Shinji shared his hallway duty with Toji, who had decided to punish him for re-entering the classroom with Rei after lunch.

"Sshh," Toji put his arm around Shinji. "It's parta da plan! If you're gonna peep successful, ya gotta play it right!"

"Huh?" Shinji looked at Toji incredulously. "Peep?"

"Caaaamon," Toji nudged, "Peep! As in under da skoyt's! I know you was thinkin' about it." A girl passed by, and Toji covered hi mouth, pointing to her as she walked passed them up the stairs. "Ya got to be subtle-like. Ya know, look like youse workin' hard." Toji got down on his knees with a rag in hand.

"What do you mean?" Shinji said in a shouting whisper. "I'm no like you!"

"Not so loud, stupid. Just watch," Toji began moving the rag along the floor. "Pretend to wipe da floor– like so, then tilt da head..." Toji looked slightly up toward the girl descending the stairs. Shinji saw his face turn to horror, as a yell died in his throat.

"SU-ZA-HA-RA. . .YOU'RE REALLY GONNA GET IT TODAY!"

"ARGH! I Hadda Pick Da Most Hazardous Pantied A-Dem ALL!" Toji took to running, but the girl caught him by the collar.

'_Of course,' _Shinji thought, _'It had to be the class rep. Hikari.'_

"Stop right there!" Hikari said as she tried to pull Toji back.

"HELP!" Toji screamed as he grabbed onto Shinji, like he was the safe place in tag.

"Whoa, don't–AAHH!" Shinji and Toji fell down the stairs– Shinji cushioning Toji's fall on every step.

"Oh my Gosh! Are you two ok? Ikari, you're bleeding!"

Shinji pushed Toji off him and inspected his arm. It had a fairly large cut, and a good amount of skin had been scrapped off. "Oh," Shinji said disinterestedly. He wanted to get his work done and go see Rei. "This is nothing."

"You should really disinfect it. C'mon, I'll take you to the infirmary."

"Um, I'm like...bruised all over, too." Toji said.

"You just want to get out of cleaning! Go on!" In the infirmary, Hikari proceeded to bandage Shinji's arm. Shinji, for his part, wasn't surprised that the class rep. knew basic first aid. "Sorry," she said, as she finished up. "It's half my fault."

"Hey, don't worry about it, okay?"

"Hey, Ikari. Why do you hand out with such a goofball, anyway? Toji, I mean," she added at Toji's puzzled look. "You're going to become stupid by association, y'know?" Shinji thought Hikari must have heard THAT one from Asuka.

"He's not stupid" Shinji said kindly. "He likes attention, sure, but you can count on him...and he's a really nice guy, too."

"I think so, too." Hikari was blushing.

"What?" Shinji asked. Something was dawning in his comprehension, but then–

"Ah-HA!" The door to the infirmary was flung open, and there stood Asuka in glorious triumph. "I knew it! That's why you were so happy when I invited you to the party! You just wanted to see him!"

"Asuka," Hikari said, standing up, "It's not like that, honest!" Shinji could tell how unconvincing a lie this was. _'But what– or who– are they talking about!'_

"But I can't believe you would talk to stupid Shinji about it, and not me!" Asuka was in a real heat now. She was chasing Hikari around the room, while the latter moved around the chair Shinji was sitting in, trying to evade her pursuer.

"Ok, ok! I admit it," Hikari shouted, as Asuka jumped over Shinji and laid her hands on Hikari so she couldn't get away. "Just not so loud. He might hear."

"C'mon, then," Asuka grabbed Hikari by the hand and started leading her out of the room. "You come too, stupid Shinji."

Resigning himself, and momentarily forgetting about Rei, Shinji followed Asuka and Hikari up to the school roof.

By the time Shinji caught up, Asuka was already in the middle of lecturing Hikari about something. He managed to catch, "...you should confide in me more often."

"I'm sorry, Asuka," Hikari said, for what must have been the tenth time. "But...it's fine the way it is."

"No," demanded Asuka, "It's not fine." Hikari turned away from both of them, and Asuka took a deep breathe. "Think about the days we're living in. Only a few generation ago half the population was gone. And only a few generations before that, this planet had barely become inhabited by people. Sure, we're all having here and now, but there's no telling what will happen to us tomorrow." Asuka took another breathe, winked, and wagged her finger. "If you want to say how you feel, you'd better make it loud and clear."

Hikari looked apprehensive, but altogether convinced. Suddenly, Asuka rounded on Shinji. "There you are! It took you long enough! Now, you're friends with Toji, so you should know: how can Hikari and that hot-headed goofball get lovey-dovey?"

"Eh!" Shinji looked to Hikari, who had her face in her hands due to extreme embarrassment. Shinji, thinking that a sudden pain was coming on– a pain that would feel a lot like a high kick from Asuka– if he didn't say something, decided to just go along with all this. "Ah...how about packing him a special lunch? He's sick of the school sandwiches.

"..." Asuka looked at him dryly, as if what he had just said was the stupidest thing she had ever hear. _'The pain approached,' _though Shinji. "WE'LL USE IT!" Shinji almost jumped out of his skin. "Crude: yes! Corny: yes! But it might work on that idiot."

'_That was a close one,'_ Shinji thought. _'Crap!' _Without warning his mind through up a vision of Rei. Seizing Asuka's momentary distraction, as she planned tomorrow's lunch out with Hikari, Shinji ran to the door, down the stairs, and toward the classroom.

"Rei! You're still here," Shinji's voice moved from surprise to disappointed confusion quite suddenly. Rei was at the window, hitting the chalk erasers together.

"Hello," she said plainly. "I'll be done soon, if you could wait."

"Ah, Of course– but," Shinji looked around quickly. "Is the other person taking out the trash or something?"

"No," Rei said, not pausing in her work. "She left a while ago. She said that she had club activities, and since I never had anything to do, or any other obligations, that it would be best if I did it alone."

"That's horrible," Shinji said without moving from his place in the doorway.

"It's always like that," Rei explained, still going about her work. "I'm use to it."

'_I know Rei isn't easy to warm up to, but I didn't think our classmates actively disliked her.'_ Shinji moved tentatively forward, and grabbed the trash can, which was full. "Have you ever tried. . ." Shinji needed to word this as delicately as possible, "...any club activities, or– I mean– with anyone?" Not so smoothly as he would have like it to come out, but at least he avoided any back-handed insinuation that Rei was purposefully being unfriendly.

"No," Rei said, pausing for the first time to look at Shinji. "I didn't think it was important. All I had was Eva," Rei's eyes fluttered, as she forced herself to keep eye contact with Shinji, "until you came."

Shinji did not turn away, at first. "It's...the same for me." Neither of them blushed or broke eye contact. Somehow, either one or both of them had moved closer, so that they were now only two or three steps apart. Shinji noticed this, and took a step back, as well as looking down at Rei's hands.

"Before I came here, I hated everything. I was totally apathetic: I just didn't care. But I put up a quiet front, playing the good little kid. I guess I was just..."

'_Why am I telling Rei all this? Talk about something that's not so depressing.' _Shinji thought almost simultaneously with all that he had just said. In the momentary pause he had left, he heard Rei say boldly, "– going through the motions of living."

"?" Shinji looked into Rei's deep, red eyes once again. It had been a while since Rei had given him that look. "Yeah," Shinji assented. _'I wish she would smile.'_

"Umm..." Shinji tried to supply a distraction, "I'll go take out this trash. Wait here."

Shinji processed the exchange of words, and came to a conclusion of utter elation. He and Rei were becoming closer and closer. With this, he might even build up the courage to ask her out. This time, Shinji's subconscious didn't bother adding _'as friends'_ after he thought about going on a date with Rei.


	11. Chapter 16

**Right Now**

Shinji made his way back to the class room to find Rei kneeled on the floor, about to wipe down the desks. Rei noticed him walk toward her, but did not stop her work. He stopped three rows away, watching Rei as she dipped the rag in the bucket, bring it up, and ring it out with both hands. "Rei. . ." Shinji didn't know exactly how to say what he was thinking.

"What is it?" Rei said, struck somewhat by the tone of his voice, and looking up from her work.

"Uh," Shinji waited for the words to come, "I was just thinking, when I saw you squeezing that cloth, that. . .it was like a mother." Before he could stop himself, Shinji blurted out, "You'd make a great mother, Rei!"

Rei's look was inscrutable. _'Crap,'_ Shinji thought, _'Well, Asuka's right: you're an idiot Shinji.'_ Rei looked away and returned to her work. Barely making a sound, Shinji caught her saying under her breathe, "A mother?"

"Ah, yeah," Shinji replied, depressed at the lack of good atmosphere between him and Rei.

"...What are you saying?" Shinji actually saw the blush appear on Rei's cheeks.

"Let me help you." Shinji grabbed a second rag, and cleaned the rest of the desks as fast as he could. Without another word, the two finished cleaning the room in silence. In no time at all, they were done and Rei was walking out of the school gate with Shinji following at her side.

On the way to her apartment, Shinji asked how Rei felt about there being no coralians or attacks for a while. She answered evasively, not responding at all to his various remarks about school, Toji and Kensuke, Asuka and the class rep., or Misato.

For her part, Rei was thinking: alot– something that rarely happened. (After years of following orders, she found it much easier to not think.) What's more, all her thoughts were about her fellow pilot– something that had never happened. First off, it had just occurred to Rei that Shinji needn't have come over at all. _'I could have returned the dish tomorrow. What was I thinking?'_

Rei snuck a glance over at Shinji. She swore that he had just turned away. _'Was he just staring at me again? . . .He does that a lot.'_ Rei's mind then kicked her concentration and she remembered exactly what she had been thinking. _'I wanted him to stop: sadness, loneliness, confusion, and pain. I feel the same way, even though I'm not like him. I'm not like anyone. . .'_

"Rei, you okay?" Shinji was holding the elevator of Rei's apartment building open. Rei nodded, and passed by Shinji into the elevator. She opened the door– which, Shinji noticed, Rei never locked– and in he followed. "Sorry for intruding," Shinji said to the dismal apartment.

Rei had taken off her shoes, and put down her bag. Turning back to Shinji, she said, "I'll wash this now. Would you make some tea?"

"Y-yes!" Shinji said enthusiastically. Both pilots got down to work, and Shinji was pained to fill the silence. "Last time, you said you never made tea, Rei." The tea canister was almost empty. "It looks like you've developed a taste for it."

It wasn't a question, so of course Rei didn't respond. But in her head she started going over the last month, marking the times she unconsciously had made a cup for herself. The tea's warmth and bitterness reminded her of Shinji: he made her feel so uncomfortable– so different– yet that discomfort in itself, if it meant she could be with Shinji, or think of him, wasn't unwanted. She quickly realized that those ever frequent times that thoughts of her fellow pilot popped into her head coincided with her cravings for tea.

"I'm finished," Rei said after a long silence. "Is the tea ready?"

"Almost," Shinji responded. He took the washed container and placed it in his school bag, then walked back to the kitchen. He found the cups where they had been during his last visit, poured the tea, and handed Rei her cup.

Cautiously, Rei took a sip of the tea. Shinji did the same. Standing in the kitchen, the two pilots slowly drained their cups without speaking. Seeing that Rei had finished her drink first, Shinji offered to pour her another. "No," she shook her head.

"Come sit down," Rei offered after Shinji had finished his tea. Shinji followed her out into the only real apartment room. Rei had sat down on the bed, and smiled up at Shinji. With a gulp and a breathe of in-taking confidence, Shinji sat down next to her.

Rei had followed him with her eyes, glancing down at his hand that, when Shinji had sat down next to her, lay an inch away from her own. "Is something a matter, Rei?" She had been staring down at their hands, but looked up at the sound of Shinji's voice.

"The first time we touched... I didn't feel anything"

"Huh?"

"Your hands," Rei explained. _'The first. . .' _Shinji thought back to catching Rei when she fell down on the hanger bridge the day they met. '_That time?' _

"The second time," Rei began. Shinji immediately recalled falling on top of Rei when he first came into this apartment. His face went red, and he noticed that he and Rei were both staring down at the very spot where Rei had fallen. "It felt a little queasy– I think," Rei finished.

"AH!" Shinji exclaimed. "About that, I'm sorry."

Rei looked away from the floor and down at her hands, which now lay lazily on her lap. She continued, "The third time...I felt warm inside." Shinji couldn't think of the scene she was talking about now, and Rei seemed to sense that. She went on, "It was the heat from your hand: even through your plug suit." Shinji remembered taking Rei from the inside of the ejected entry plug. "But the fourth time..."

'_A month ago,'_ Shinji noted internally. _'The last time I was here.'_

"I was just happy."

"!" Shinji turned sharply toward Rei, who was rubbing her right wrist novelly.

"–happy that you were concerned about me. . .Shinji." Rei looked up at Shinji when she spoke his name. Her hand had moved back onto the bed, closing the space between her hand and his. "Could I hold your hand again?"

Shinji noticed Rei's fingers, less that an inch from his own. "Yeah..." Shinji turned Rei's hand over, so that her palm faced up. He then grasped with his hand, somewhat forcibly and awkwardly, till Rei responded by intertwining her fingers with his.

'_She has a really strong grip,'_ Shinji thought, as Rei squeezed his hand. He squeezed back, as roughly as he dared: Rei always seemed so fragile. Maybe that was because she was often injured and soft-spoken. In reality, Shinji knew that Rei was stronger, more independent, and braver than he could ever be.

As for Rei, she couldn't think. Her body was filling up with a force that was indescribable. That uncomfortable, new feeling that Shinji had always roused inside her was being transformed. It was no longer intrusive or disruptive, but seemed to enable her ability to– with no other term to label it– live. Her senses, emotions, and thoughts were all being heightened and strengthened by this incredible force.

Ridiculously, the first concrete thought that came to Rei's head was that, at this moment, she could fly.

"Rei, is something a matter?" Shinji asked, without lessening his grip. Rei brought her hand to her cheek, wiping a tear that had leaked from her eyes. "Rei?" Shinji prompted her to answer.

"I–" Rei began, but the sound of Shinji's cellphone– then Rei's cellphone a second later– broke through her words. Both pilots let the phone rings, still holding hands and looking into each other's eyes. With a frown, Shinji let go, got off the bed, and ran to his bag.

Annoyed, he answered the phone, "Hello?"

"Shinji," the rough voice on the other end declared.

"Father!" he said, shocked not to hear Misato's voice. "Is it an attack– where's Misato?"

Ignoring his question, the Commander continued, "Nerv Security should be at Rei's apartment in a minute or two. A Kute-class phenomenon has appeared, and U.F. LFOs are patrolling the area. You and Rei are to proceed immediately to the dressing rooms, then to the cage for stand by, ready to deploy: understood?"

"Yes." Shinji said, hanging up his phone and looking toward Rei who was already walking toward him. She put on her shoes and opened the door. Shinji heard a car pull up to the curb four stories below.

"Let's go," Rei demanded. Shinji obeyed, and in a minute the two were sitting in the back of a black sudan on their way to Nerv.

The trip passed in silence, as did their walk to the dressing room. They were alone: apparently, Asuka was already in the cages waiting.

The speaker sounded: _"Pilot Soryu on stand by in Unit-02. Pilot Ikari is to report to loading dock three for entry into Unit-01. Pilot Ayanami is to report to loading dock one for entry into Unit-00."_

"Unit-00?" Shinji exclaimed. "It's repaired– and Rei, you're going out in it, alone? Have you ever– eto, have you ever piloted Unit-00."

"Yes," Rei said. "I have been piloting it this past month."

"I–!" Shinji was shocked, a little hurt, but most of all confused. "–didn't realize." Rei remained silent as she entered the dressing room. She could still feel Shinji's touch on the palm on her hand. And just now, the boy had once again demonstrated that odd affection for her. He was even– Rei entertained the possibility– afraid for her.

As she changed, she thought back to their first time piloting together. She had explained that she, Shinji, and Unit-01 would all believe in each other. She thought now that it was Shinji who could also bear the burden of her emotions. She could be strong, determined, and willing– but only as long Shinji would be scared for her, insecure for her, and support her.

Shinji could see the shadow impression of Rei projected onto the screen separating the changing areas. She was undressing, and even as Shinji put on his own plug suit, he could not help but stare at the shadow Rei.

In no time, Rei was done. Shinji took the opportunity to say something before she walked out. "Rei."

"Yes?"

"We're not saying goodbye anymore. . ." Shinji hoped that Rei would remember their talk in the ejected entry plug. Rei, who was stroking her palm with her fingers, hoping to regain the sense of Shinji's touch, could think of little else. "So let's both make sure to come back. I'll see you later, okay?"

"..." Rei smiled to herself. "See you later, Shinji."

* * *

Hundreds of miles away, Kaji sat pouring over stacks of folders and documents at the 108th location of the Marduk Group. With every appearance of reading intently, Kaji slowly unbuckled his holster– but then a sudden smell came gently across the breeze. He breathed in deeply, and smiled.

"There's energy bars and shakes in the duffle over there," Kaji turned around to face Misato. "You look like hell: smell fantastic though."

"Foods fine," Misato responded, lowering her gun, "but I'm more interested in information." Misato took a seat, unwrapped a bar, and stared down Kaji. "For instance: are you Ryoji Kaji, Special Agent, United Federations Nerv...or Ryoji Kaji, Special Investigator, Vodarac Ministry of the Interior? And this–" she motioned to her surrounding. "–The Marduk Group: the selection of pilots: how far does Nerv's influence reach?"

"Bars are fine," Kaji said as he reached in the duffle bag, "but you should hydrate first." Kaji threw a bottle to Misato, who caught it without breaking eye contact with him.

"Look!" Misato demanded, slamming the drink down on to the desk by her chair. "I don't expect you to just– oh, I don't know: tell me everything...Just a little okay?"

"Hey, relax–"

"RELAX!" Misato got up from her seat and choked Kaji by his collar. "WHAT IS THE INSTRUMENTALITY PROJECT! WHAT DOES NERV WANT TO–What are ya–!"

Kaji had lunged forward and wrapped his arms tightly around Misato. "Be Quiet. Shut your eyes. . .for just a second. Please, right now, forget everything. . .Remember me."

The two kissed passionately. Kaji eased his embrace, and Misato ran her fingers through his hair. She couldn't stop herself– couldn't pull away. Every memory from her college days was dragged up from its unquiet, shallow grave.

Thankfully, Kaji stopped himself. "I'm sorry," he breathed into her ear. "But I still love you."

"You jerk," Misato tried to break free, but Kaji wouldn't let himself be pushed away. Realizing that this wasn't working, Misato calmed down, almost in tears, and said, "you ended it. Now, let me go."

"I can't. They're listening, right now." Misato sharpened her ears, for Kaji was barely breathing the sounds of his words. "I can tell you this: there is no Marduk group, Nerv is pulling the strings all by itself. The Committee for Instrumentality is Seele– no more no less. They're funding Nerv and driving humanity toward a consummation with the Coralians. Don't interrupt– don't talk– The Kute-class attacks are engineered by Nerv against Seele's script. Everything we've worked toward, everything we believe: it's all the plan of one man."

Misato felt Kaji's lips once again, but this time something hard hit against her teeth. It was a small capsule, which she grasped with her tongue as Kaji broke the kiss. He grabbed his duffle and walked toward the exit door.

"Why–!" Misato almost started for him, but stopped after one step. "Why does it seem that we'll never see each other again?" She was now in tears.

Kaji didn't stop walking, or turn around. He was already outside when she heard his voice call back, "Goodbye, Misato."


	12. Chapter 17

**Again and Again**

All three pilots waited on stand-by in their entry plugs, ready to be deployed at any second. They could feel the earth shaking attacks of the coralians, as their assault on the Geofront raged on: it was intermingled with canon fire, rifle shots, and ray blasts from the numerous LFOs– who, Asuka wondered, seemed to be making the damage to Nerv HQ worse.

Shinji could only think of Misato. As soon as the bridge established communication with the pilots, he asked, "Where's Misato? Is she ok?"

"She's fine, just away, Shinji," Lt. Aoba supplied.

"How are we supposed to pilot without her?" Shinji muttered.

"Don't worry," Lt. Hyuga assured him, "The Commander is assuming direct control of this mission.

'_Father,'_ was all Shinji could think due to his conflicting emotions toward this news.

"Unit-00 will take point," the Commander said, once all the preparation for the Evas and pilots were complete. "Unit-02 will be deployed simultaneously as back-up–" the Commander managed to complete the second half of his sentence "–while Unit-01 will stay on stand by" over the exclamations of both Asuka and Shinji.

They both shouted, "WHAT!"

Asuka rounded on the Nerv staff first, "Why should wonder girl get the lead position! I'm the better pilot– my performance and the tests prove it! She's never even piloted Unit-00 in battle before!"

Before the bridge could respond, Shinji interjected, "Asuka's right!" The anger in Asuka's face drained away for a moment. She was shocked that Shinji would agree with her– not realizing that he wasn't so much supporting Asuka out of belief in her skill, as he was because of his concern for Rei– but a triumphant smile quickly masked her surprise.

Shinji continued, "Rei should be the stand-by. I'll back Asuka in Unit-01."

"Right!" Asuka affirmed.

"It's not possible, you two," Lt. Maya explained. "Unit-01 has been frozen. After the Orange incident, its become too much of a risk: Unit-01 is Nerv's greatest asset."

"I don't understand!" Shinji yelled. "Aren't we a U.F. organization? Why are they attacking us?"

"That is not your concern," Gendo Ikari's voice resounded with a finality that hushed even Asuka. "You will pilot if necessary, when necessary. That is all. Ready to launch Unit-00."

Asuka regained her voice. "Fine! Stupid Shinji can rot, but I'm not gonna be put in a corner. Unit-02 launch!"

"Dammit, Asuka!" yelled Dewey, who was unknowingly present on the bridge.

"Orders?" Lt. Aoba asked.

"Proceed with the mission with Unit-02 running point, and Rei as her back up," Commander Ikari answered.

Shinji watched as Asuka, followed by Rei in Unit-00, launched up through the Geosphere and into the fray. The memory of Asuka's first fight flashed through the front of his mind, and gave him assurance. Rei would be safe, and Asuka could handle the LFOs– together they'd be able to fight off the coralians as well.

Gendo Ikari, on the other hand, felt himself pushed into a corner for the first time in many years. He could always release Unit-01 under the pretense of necessity, but it would **need to be necessary**. If he sent Unit-01 out too soon, his life would be in mortal danger. If he sent it out too late, Rei would be lost, and everything he worked toward for ten years would be lost in a moment– then, there would be no reason to live.

No, he would have to risk the latter option. He had planned even for this scenario– he knew Seele would act first– he had engineered the creation of the perfect Eva pilot of Unit-02. She could, if necessary, react with the Zone and come out relatively undamaged. His investment in the young Novak had paid off as well. He had not only ensured the pilot of Unit-02's safety, but also her drive– her need– to be the best.

Now that Seele had acted– now that they had waited for the natural appearance of a Kute-class– their window was only 23 minutes. The Kute-class had fully formed, manifesting the anti-body coralians, ten minutes ago. The pilots would only have to last the combined attacks of the LFOs and coralians for 13 minutes. After that, the LFOs would have to retreat, or else risk dropping the pretense of "defense" and declare open war.

Gendo spoke as Unit-00 arrived at ground level. "Rei, do not fail me."

Shinji heard Rei's steady voice from the other side of the com. link: "Yes, sir."

And as soon as Rei's voice cut out, the massacre began. Within seconds a swarm of coralians had divided Unit-00 from Asuka, who was charging at the air borne LFOs– not in the least bit phased by their overwhelming advantage of being able to fly. Instinctively, Rei raised her AT field, drawing all the heat of the anti-body coralians off of Asuka and on to her.

The words of the Commander echoed in Rei's ears. She couldn't fail him. Despite her anger, and despair, and helplessness, all stemming from her confusing feelings about her relationship with the Commander, she knew that she was still devoted to him. Even if it was for totally selfish reasons– even if he didn't really care about her– he was responsible for everything that made her who she was. It was the same with Shinji: the Commander had brought Shinji here.

She didn't know what Shinji had to do with this. She couldn't exactly put into words why he mattered. But it– "he" definitely did.

Asuka didn't bother raising her AT field, yet. She knew she could take out at least 5 LFOs without needing it; and the longer she could go without using the Absolute Trapar Field, the longer she could keep the anti-body coralians from interfering in her fight.

Dodging shot after shot, Asuka made her way into the middle of the LFO formation, grabbing a Nerv rifle from one of the defense buildings along the way. _'There's 10 of them,' _Asuka quickly analyzed the situation. _'2 behind me, 3 to my right, 3 to my left, and 2 in front of me. Charge and take out the 2 in front of me. The rapid increase in my speed will throw off the aim of the side LFO's: deploy AT field to my rear to block the shots fired behind me. Coralians will swarm, providing cover. Disengage AT field and find cover.'_

In seconds Asuka had worked out her plan, and in a moment it was executed. The two LFOs in front of her fell easily enough, but one of the side gunners had knocked the rifle out of Unit-02's hands with a powerful canon shout. As planned, the AT filed had attracted the Coralians and provider cover, so that the rifle wasn't such a loss. Unit-02 had made it out of the LFOs' line of sight and taken cover behind one of the many cliffs on the outskirts of Ciudades del Cielo.

Meanwhile, though because Asuka had shut off her com. link with the bridge during her assault she did not know, Unit-00 was in dire straights. The only reason Asuka's plan had succeeded was because the swarm of Coralians were overwhelming concentrate on pursuing Unit-00, as Rei had extended it to full power immediately. While Asuka was still working out her plan to take out the front LFOs, Rei was running as fast as she could in the opposite direction, toward the fully formed Kute-class and toward the concentration of anti-body coralians.

Shouts of _"REI! WHAT'RE YOU DOING!" _resounded from both the Lieutenants on the bridge and Shinji in Unit-01, but Rei ignored them. If the LFOs could not be destroyed first, the Geofront would be exposed and HQ would be vulnerable to attack. She had quickly decided to believe in the Second Children's skill– after all, she knew, the Commander had ensured that she was the best pilot out of the three of them– Pilot Soryu would win against them.

She also knew that the Kute-class would only last 12 more minutes. Even if Unit-00 was ripped to shreds, the LFOs would either be destroyed or would have to retreat in 11 more minutes. Everyone would be safe them. _'He will be safe.'_

As these minutes past– 10 minutes left– with Rei deep in thought of both the battle and its implications, Unit-00 had taken heavy damage. Shinji's outbursts were becoming ever more frequent. He demanded to be put into the battle. "I can help! Tell with the freeze!" But even in his rage, Shinji marveled at how amazing both Rei and Asuka were.

8 minutes left and Asuka had taken out all but 3 LFOs: she had lost the use of her left arm, but was otherwise undamaged. Rei, in much worse shape, had careful used her less valuable body parts to protect Unit-00's legs and right hand. Her strategy, the bridge thought, was simple yet effective: run till a group of coralians got close enough, rip them apart with the AT field and progressive knife, then run again when too many had caught up.

6 minutes left, and the situation became impossible. 5 LFOs still remain and Asuka had accomplished nothing except losing the use of her left leg. Rei's damage was steadily getting worse, but more than that, she was becoming physically and mentally exhausted. Shinji was sweating and in tears. They couldn't win alone. He thought they might actually do it: he thought that the bridge– that his father– was right to keep him here. But now he knew that it was a lie. His father would rather let them die then break the law– a stupid and arbitrary rule!

Why was he even frozen? What was special about Unit-01? Why now, when he actually WANTED to fight, couldn't anyone let him? Why was it that when he had finally found something worth protecting, a fucking rule denied him the opportunity?

But then Shinji's thoughts were broken. The LFOs had surrounded Asuka without her or the bridge noticing in time. Asuka tried to run, but her leg was too badly damaged. As a last resort, she extended her AT field to maximum.

For a moment, Shinji thought she was saved: the coralians were far enough away– tearing Unit-00 to pieces– that they wouldn't get to Asuka before she could think of a plan and turn the battle around. But there was no such luck. The LFO directly in front of her rode low to the floor, dropped of his board, and accelerated toward her with a knife in hand.

Asuka couldn't believe it. "A Progressive Knife!"

Lt. Maya shouted, "Asuka quick–"

"I know, dammit!" Asuka raged, drawing her own knife. She managed to block the LFOs attack, and ram her own knife into its neck. But the other two had charged at the same time toward her a second later. They both lodged their knifes, which cut easily through her AT field as the first one had, into Unit-02's abdomen.

"AASSSUKKAA!" Shinji cried. "Father, dammit! I have to– I need to–" Shinji was pulling on Unit-01's controls, but it remained motionless. The bridge controlled the Eva's initial start up, and there was nothing Shinji could do to wake Unit-01 from its frozen slumber.

The bridge watched helplessly as the two LFOs carved through the Eva abdomen and chest. "NO!" Shinji heard someone cry from the bridge. He recognized the voice as Dewey's. "DON'T PUSH YOURSELF, ASUKA!" Shinji looked toward the screen, and saw that Asuka had brought her right hand, holding her own progressive knife, into the head of one of the LFOs, and her left hand– still mangled and pathetic– holding the first LFO's knife, into the head of the second LFO.

"Unit-02 has gone silent," Lt. Aoba reported. Dewey had left the bridge, and Shinji thought that he must be off to join the Nerv retrieval team. "The 2 remaining LFOs are resuming their attack on the Geofront's second to last armored defense plate."

With every cell in him, Shinji hated the sound of the next voice, which spoke emotionlessly. "Time?"

"3 minutes," croaked Lt. Ibuki.

"What is the status of the 1st pilot?" asked the Commander's voice.

"Critical!' Lt. Hyuga said, distressed. "Mental contamination reaching its limit!"

Inside the Eva, Rei was frantically trying to keep in mind that the pain wasn't real. It wasn't actually her arm that had been ripped off. Her hamstring hadn't been sliced, and her ribs weren't shattered. She couldn't run anymore. She couldn't attack. Everything within in her was concentrating on keeping her AT field from breaking under the relentless tackles of the anti-body coralians.

–everything but a feeling and thought. The thought was that she had let the Commander down. Till this point in her life, the only thing she had lived for was to obey Commander Ikari, and this now was the first oder she had failed to obey: _"...do not fail me."_ The feeling was overwhelming depression. This battle would be her death. If she could not follow orders, there was no reason to continue to her life, and yet the knowledge of her death grasp at her, pulling her into despair.

The thought of the Commander was replaced with another. _'Orders are not the only thing. There must be something else worth living for.'_

Back in HQ, Shinji had lot his voice. His senses were assaulted and stalled by emotion. The utter helplessness of his position, as he watched Asuka fail and continued to see Unit-00 being destroyed slowly, strangled him.

"2 minutes and 23 seconds," cried Lt. Ibuki.

"She won't make it!" raged Lt. Hyuga.

Mustering all his will power, Shinji yelled, "MOVE YOU PIECE OF SHIT!" And he tugged once more, with all his strength, on the controls of Unit-01. Miraculously, Unit-01 started up and broke free of its restraints.

"IMPOSSIBLE!" exclaimed Dr. Akagi. "The Eva acted without power?"

"Launch Unit-01," sounded the pitiless voice without a note of surprise.

"We can't!" protested the Doctor. "It's gone berserk!"

"Do it, now," commanded Gendo Ikari.

"Launch!" declared Lt. Aoba.

In seconds Shinji was to the surface. He couldn't get to Rei without drawing the attention of the 2 LFOs. They had already ceased their attack on the Geofront, and were heading toward him. "Finish them," the Commander ordered. Shinji didn't need orders. He grabbed the rifle that Nerv had provided at his side. He ran forward, expanding hit AT field to beyond its maximum limit, hoping it would draw the Coralians away from Rei.

"1 minute and 50 second remaining till the Kute-class collapses!"

Shinji fired wildly toward the LFOs, managing to take out one of them. He continued to fire as he blew past the last LFO, forcing Unit-01 to run directly into the oncoming swarm of anti-coralians, toward the eye of the storm where Rei stood. "Is her AT field still active? Is it holding?"

"Shinji!" answered Lt. Hyuga. "It's barely there, but we are getting a signal."

"Listen, Shinji," said Dr. Akagi. "When you get to Unit-00, we'll eject Rei's entry plug. Then you've got to run a far as you can. Get to cover before the Kute-class implodes on itself.

Though Shinji didn't answer, everyone seemed to understand that he had heard the plan. He was at Unit-00 now, using his AT field to push all the coralians for at least 40 yards. "QUICK!" Shinji yelled in pain. Lt. Ibuki saw that the stress of using his AT field in such a massively defensive manner had pushed Shinji's mental contamination into the danger zone– but, remembering the Doctor's orders, she kept quiet.

The entry plug was ejected, and Shinji grasped it in both hands. He heard a voice from the bridge say, "58 seconds." And he ran. It was the same run as before: the type of movement to which someone could only say, _"He ran." _

After 50 seconds, Shinji couldn't move anymore. His head felt like it was in a nutcracker or a melon squeezer. He hoped this was far enough. He had kept the entry plug upright and close to his chest, hoping not to cause more damage to the pilot inside. Unit-01 fell on its knees, with its back to the Kute-class, shielding the entry plug with the Eva's body.

The shock of the Kute-class was like nothing Shinji had ever felt. When wave after wave crashed upon the Eva's back, it wasn't pain or pressure or strain that he felt. It was as if his body was being burned alive, and his mind was being scrabbled like an egg. He lost count of how many waves hit him, and by the time it was over the trapar interference had knocked out any communication with Nerv HQ.

Shinji tried to move, but the Eva wasn't responding. "It's alright, Rei," Shinji spoke to himself. "I've got you. We'll get moving soon. I'll leave you somewhere safe, and go get Asuka. I'll be right back. I pro–"

Shinji's mutterings were interrupted by a sight on his monitor. The last LFO had landed only a few yards away. "GO AWAY!" Shinji yelled. "I don't want to fight you! Why should I! You aren't an enemy. You're U.F., like us!" The LFO drew a progressive knife. "NO!" Shinji yelled again. "Can't you see that she's hurt!" Shinji looked down at the entry plug in the Eva's hands. "I can't fight you! I need to get to Asuka!" The LFO advanced slowly, clearly noticing that Unit-01 was shut down, but obviously well-trained and cautious.

It stopped an arm's length away, ready to drive the knife into the Eva's chest. Shinji saw the angle of attack and moved just in time. Unit-01 re-activated and the Eva's arms shot out, leaving its chest completely exposed. The knife was driven into his heart– no. . .it was where the Eva's heart would be. Shinji wasn't actually bleeding out. Rei was still ok.

"AAAAAAHHHHHHHH!" Shinji pulled out his knife in a flash, and cut straight through the LFO's neck. At that moment, the bridge regained audio communication and visual with Unit-01. Lt. Ibuki almost threw up at the sight. Unit-01 was tearing off the the armor of the LFO, digging its hands into the body of the archetype beneath.

"Shinji!" cried Lt. Aoba. "Stop! It's over: a team has gotten to Asuka and another one is coming for Rei!"

"Shinji, you have to stop!" Dr. Akagi was looking as the mental contamination of Unit-01. "If you keep forcing the Eva you won't be able to stop! Shinji!"

But Unit-01 kept on tearing into the machine. The bridge could hear the heavy breathing and stifled sobs of Shinji through the com. link. "Riders high," declared Vice Com. Fuyutsuki to his sitting companion.

"It's beyond that now," he responded.

The Doctor was right, Shinji couldn't stop. His rage burned against his enemy. The LFO had meant to destroy the entry plug, not stab Unit-01. It had meant to kill Rei. It deserved, in Shinji's mind, to be mutilated and destroyed to the point of nothingness. It seemed that he would never stop this self-satisfying destruction, but then he saw it. He lifted his arm from the LFOs remains, and saw a small red stained metal box, like a cockpit. He pealed the piece of metal and saw a mangled body– if you could call that splatter of organs and shattered bone a body.

And Shinji saw and thought no more.


	13. Chapter 18

**If only I had a brain**

When she woke up, Rei was inside the all too familiar LCL tank far beneath Nerv HQ. Her arm was broken, and her left eye was cut– but she wasn't too concerned about either. She was trying to remember the battle. How she had survived. . .? _'Shinji. . .'_ The third children and Unit-01 had saved her. The entry plug had ejected– Shinji had run away from the Kute-class– then. . .then. . .what?

Hopefully, the Commander would be here shortly to explain what had happened, and what would happen next.

* * *

Asuka didn't wake up. The mental and physical strain she had incurred in fighting the LFOs pushed her into a catatonic state. It was similar to a coma, except at times she was clearly not unconscious. She would open her eyes, or breathe erratically. Over the next week, Dewey hardly left her bedside: he was inconsolable, yet functioning. He ate regularly, attended to Asuka's needs, and slept at least 4 hours each night– though, admittedly, not well.

"Leave us alone," he would say softly and firmly to anyone, including nurses and doctors, who would stay for more than five minutes. Even Misato or Dr. Akagi, to both of whom Dewey had always shown the greatest respect, was dismissed. "Please, don't. . .there's nothing– Misato– nothing you can say that will change what happened. I'm not sad. I don't regret anything. I was and am prepared for this: just let me deal with it my way. The Commander has no objections, neither should anyone else."

* * *

Shinji woke up two days after the incident. Even though there was nothing physiologically wrong with him, Shinji refused to leave his hospital room or see anyone, including doctors and nurses. He wouldn't speak or move an inch more than he had to, and the only question he asked Misato or Dr. Akagi, or any new staff member who would try to bring him the meals he would not eat, was, "Did you know?"

"Know what, Shinji?" Misato asked sympathetically.

". . .That we were killing people?" Shinji's tone was emotionless.

"LFO pilots, you mean." Misato sighed silently. "I did, Shinji. And so did you."

"What did you really believe, Shinji?" answered Dr. Akagi. "LFOs, like the Evas, are piloted. Of course, when you destroy the LFO, you destroy the pilot."

"I KNOW THAT!" This was the first and only outburst Shinji had during that week. Instantly afterwards, however, he became once again emotionless to others as his father had always seemed to him.

Shinji, however, didn't notice his own stoicism, or stubbornness, or hunger. It was if he was waiting for something– a train or a bus or for someone– but he didn't know what. He wondered when this state of internal affairs had started: his mind and body were almost separate from each other– they had come apart, little by little. _'Whenever something sad...or painful happens, it's like there's another me who watches it– like it's happening to someone else– and I end up thinking, _"That's not me."_'_

Shinji pulled back the bed sheets, and looked up at the familiar ceiling. _'It's okay. I can live like that. . .just not here.'_ He said out-loud to the empty room, hoping his resolution would cement in the air, "No more."

Shinji got up an walked out of the hospital room. There were Nerv security guards waiting outside the door. "Pilot Shinji Ikari, you are to come with us."

"Are you taking me to my f– to the Commander?" Shinji asked.

"Indeed." Shinji went obediently in silence. But just outside the elevator that led to the Commander's office, a voice called from behind the company of Nerv agents and Shinji.

"I'll take it from here," a jovial voice said. "C'mon, Shinji," Kaji said, cheerfully, "let's settle this matter." Shinji didn't protest.

Less than a minute later, Shinji stood in a large, dark, upper room in front of a desk behind which sat Gendo Ikari. He spoke: "Willful possession of an Eva for personal use. Breach of lawful orders. Destruction of Nerv property. . .All criminal acts. What do you have to say for yourself?"

Shinji's fists clenched. Why should he defend himself for what he had done? It was Nerv that needed to be prosecuted– his father should be defending himself. "Don't you," Shinji said in a voice shaking with rage, "have something to say to me?"

Gendo looked him in the eye. "What are you talking about? I'm asking the questions here." Shinji's eyes flashed red, and an instant before he lunged at his father, the incident flashed before his mind.

When the recover team had brought the Eva back to the Geofront, and attached an umbilical chord to restore power, Shinji snapped. Unit-01, resupplied with power, synched instantly with Shinji without the prompting of the Nerv bridge or their computers. It was as if, Dr. Akagi thought, Unit-01 was completely loyal to no one but Shinji, and would do his bidding even without Shinji's own conscious thought. The Eva proceeded to destroy the surround buildings and landscape of the Geofront.

All the while Shinji yelled, _"WHY! Why didn't anyone stop me! Why didn't you tell me! Dead, dead, dead, dead– they're dead! How many, father! How people have you killed! How many did you make me kill– intend for me to kill? AND REI! GOD, YOU MADE REI– HOW COULD YOU DO THIS! YOU'RE ALL BASTARDS!" _

Ignoring the protests and explanations from the bridge, Shinji continued on. After a few minutes, Gendo ordered the LCL density to be raised to the maximum, so that Shinji could no longer breathe. It was like choking and drowning at the same time, and Shinji had barely made it out alive.

"SHINJI!" Kaji had grabbed Shinji around the waist and pulled him back: his fist had stopped inches away from Gendo Ikari's face. "Stop it! Nothing good will come of this!"

"Let me go!" Shinji raged and struggled, but Kaji was much stronger than him. "LET GO! I don't want to stay here– I can't! I don't. . .want to pilot Eva anymore." Shinji was nearly hyperventilating when he calmed down.

Gendo, whose demeanor had broken into panic for a single moment, was sitting, watching, as stoic as ever. "Fine. Go, now, back to where you were. You have your wish. I doubt we'll ever see each other again."

Shinji composed himself, and stared back at the Commander. "That is my intention." Shinji turned to leave, but stopped when he heard the voice behind him say, "I'm disappointed in you. You need to grow up, Shinji."

"I don't know what that means," Shinji replied quickly. "But it no longer matters. Nothing matters." Shinji was out the door.

Gendo picked up the phone and said. "It's me. The Third child is to be erased from all records. Henceforth, Rei is the exclusive pilot for Unit-01."

"You're really going to let him go?" Kaji asked the Commander.

"I cannot make him stay, nor will I deceive him into wanting to stay. He is not a child," Gendo said harshly.

"But what about your scenario? With Shinji gone, it's Seele's game once again. We both know that Rei chose him."

"We have never been more than pawns in the hands of fate. I have defied it for too long already, there is nothing _I _can do." Gendo looked for the first time directly at Ryoji Kaji, who did not miss the emphasis in Gendo's words. "If you stop him, it will most likely result in your death."

"There is nothing in life," Kaji said airily, shrugging his shoulder, "worth living for, if you don't have the truth. Bye, then."

* * *

Rei didn't know how much time had past since she had first awoken in the LCL, or how many times she had drifted in and out of consciousness, but she had been right. The Commander had come with Dr. Akagi, who bandaged her eye and arm. She was sitting nude on the hospital bed in the dank room, next to the large tank of LCL. The Doctor left, and Rei then asked the Commander what had happened.

"We've just gone through your memories in the psychological debriefing."

"Yes, sir." Rei clarified, "I was asking about what happened to the pilot of Unit-01 after the battle."

The Commander was silent. He looked intently at Rei, and she looked unflinching back at him. ". . .He disobeyed orders and refused to return the Eva to Nerv HQ. As a result of his actions, irreparable damage was done to the Geofront, Unit-01, and an U.F. LFO."

The Commander might have continued, but Rei asked further, "The LFO was an enemy, was it not?"

"No," the Commander said firmly. "The whole world saw his actions, after the coralian threat had already dissipated–" A phone rang from Gendo Ikari's pocket. He answered it, hung up, and said to Rei, "I must go now. Get dressed and go home."

"What's going to happen to him?" Gendo Ikari had already begun to leave when he heard the question– a question, not, he noted, a _"yes, sir."_ He turned around, and for a moment Rei was afraid. For a split second, she had seen a glimmer of something on his face. It was look she had seen once before, though she didn't know it. When he had first found her imbedded in the Scub Coral, he had the same look. It wasn't happiness, or realization, or even surprise. She couldn't put words to it– that look of triumph.

In an instant it had vanished. "What's going to happen to him? No one knows that. . .he has left Nerv. He no longer wants to pilot the Eva." There was still no response from Rei. She looked him full in the face: a look that was unlike the woman whom Rei– Gendo had always noticed– uncannily resembled. He hated that look.

The Commander grabbed the bath robe hanging on the cot's railing, next to Rei, and draped it around her. Like so many times before, when she had given him this look, he moved his hand to stroke her face and calm her thoughts. But before he had touched her, Rei's faced changed to surprise, filled with offense, and she quickly knocked his hand away.

"Rei. . ."

"Sir, I will go now," Rei said, turning away and walking toward the exit. Her head was racing. She wanted everything to go away– to disappear. She wanted to disappear– to not exist– to die even. She dressed quickly, walked determinately out of Nerv, and tried to keep everything in. Before she knew it, she was walking up the stairs to her apartment.

Finally, her mind could form thoughts. _'Who am I? I've never understood myself. . .There's a void in me: It's. . .it's always there, empty, and I feel like I'm made of straw. I remember being afraid of it. I'd fill it up by thinking of Commander Ikari. But one day. . .before I noticed it happening..._he _was there inside."_

Rei collapsed on her bed. The next thought was the realization that her pillow was wet. _'I'm crying,'_ Rei noted. _'Why? Shinji. . .why do make me feel like this?'_ She cried harder now, sobbing and heaving for the first time in her life. But, to her surprise, it felt good. She wanted to keep crying. The wall of shit blocking her from her emotions was being torn down by thinking of Shinji. She dragged up every memory she could muster, and tried to re-live every moment with him in her head.

If feeling this horrible was the only way to stay connected to him, then that was okay. She would live the rest of her life– which was bound to be short, if that mysterious committee, called Seele, had there way– thinking about the brief time she spent with him. _'Is that ok?' _a voice within her asked. As if responding, for the first time, Rei used her phone to dial someone's number.

"Captain Katsuragi, here."

"Captain," Rei said softly– to her surprise– trying to hide her the fact that she'd been crying.

Surprise apparent in her tone, Misato responded, "What's a matter, Rei?"

"Is he gone?" Rei got straight to the point. "Is Shinji gone?" She didn't care now that others knew that she called him by his first name– she hadn't even realized till this moment that she did, in fact, care.

"Ah–" Misato struggled to respond. "He just left the apartment, Rei." A sudden thought struck Misato. She had been unable to keep Shinji from leaving, but maybe... "–I can definitely catch him," the Captain said, too enthusiastically. "If you want, Rei. I can bring him to your apartment before–"

The line on both Misato and Rei's phone suddenly went dead. Then, at the same time, both women heard from the speaker on their phone: _"A state of emergency has been declared. All essential Nerv personal to battle stations."_

* * *

Shinji refused to be taken to the train station by any Nerv personnel, so it took him nearly an hour to walk there from Misato's apartment. He saw the train approaching, and tried not to think or feel anything toward his final departure. He was so immersed in his own contemplation that he didn't notice the train slow to a stop– but then he heard it.

"_A state of emergency has been declared throughout the entire south area of Ciudades del Cielo. Please evacuate to the nearest, designated emergency center. Repeat."_

Shinji stood still, debating whether or not to bother with the shelter. He couldn't get out of this city yet. . .it was like the fate of Nerv had him tightly in its grip: unrelenting and unwilling to let him leave this cursed city. He suddenly felt that hand yank at his elbow–

No, wait. This was actually a hand. What'r ya–!"

"Let's have a little chat, shall we, Shinji?"

Kaji pulled him off the train platform and into his car. Kaji drove almost as fast as Misato, all the while humming to himself and making the occasional comment, like, "Now where's the nearest place to stow you?"

Shinji was too resigned to care. Fine, he would be taken to a safe area. Soon, Asuka and Rei would have the situation handled and he would leave then. He tried not to think about the fact that Rei was hurt, or that people were bound to die while he stood by and did nothing.

Finally, the car stopped just inside the geofront, and Kaji ushered Shinji into an underground bunker. He sat him down on one of the benches lining the walls and served him some drink and rations from the bunker's supply store.

"Did he order you to do this? Do they want me back that badly?" Kaji took a drink. ". . .It doesn't matter. I won't go back."

"Relax," Kaji said, seriously. "This is my own idea." Kaji downed the rest of his drink and sighed loudly. "Shinji. . .let's talk about the organization that calls itself Nerv. What do you know about it?"

The habit of doing what he had been told all his life was more deeply ingrained than Shinji thought. With no conscious effort he began listing off the things he knew. "It's a special agency under the United Federation: a defense organization, against a barely-understood enemy, code-named "Coralians". There's also something about preventing a future "Third impact". . .Asuka told me that part."

"Mm," Kaji assented. "But have you ever wondered why the Coralians only appear above Ciudades del Cielo? And no where else?"

". . ."

"And why the only things capable of effectively combating and communicating with Coralians and the phenomenon they create, known as "the Zone", are based here at Nerv HQ? As if they were waiting for them?"

Shinji's breathe began to become heavy. "What do you mean?"

Kaji continued to look foward, as Shinji stared at the mysterious man. "I mean that they did know; and everything has been set up from the start." Kaji took a deep breathe and began to explain. "What people call first impact happened thousands of years ago. An alien life-form named Coralian came to the planet called Earth and began to merge with every living and non-living thing. Eventually, the entire planet was overrun, and people felt that the only recourse was to leave earth in an Ark."

Shinji was about to speak, but Kaji cut across him. "This is earth. We live on the same planet that the Scub Coral, as it later became to be known, inhabit. About a hundred years ago, the Coralians tried to establish conscious contact with human beings, nearly surpassing a limit of conscious life that, if breached, would mean the death of this planet. In order to avoid this outcome, the Coralians decided to cease their attempts to contact human beings who were outside itself, and instead took nearly half of the earth's population into itself in order to see if their truly was a way for coralians and humans to co-exist– to see if we could truly understand one another."

"But what does all this have to do with Nerv?" Shinji demanded. "What does it have to do with me!"

Kaji continued calmly. "After this event one hundred years ago. An organization appeared out of the ruined government of the world. The nearly five hundred thousand people left on earth fractured into seven separate governments, entering into a treaty with one another, which we know as the United Federation. But its all the same: nothing changed. The governments were all orchestrated by this organization, called Seele. Seele is the successor of the Sage council, which has been driving human destiny for hundreds– maybe thousands– of years. They paid for Nerv and built it, unofficially. The face of Nerv has nothing to do with Eva's or coralians, and that is where we come to you, Shinji."

But Shinji understood before Kaji had to say anything. "The U.F. LFOs attack us because we _are_ the enemy. They're like me: they don't know were on the same side."

Kaji nodded. "As far as the rest of the world is concerned: Nerv is a technological advancement center, and the Eva's are a creation of one of the abundant rebel factions who are still fighting against the government." Kaji lit a cigarette, and added in a matter-of-fact way, "Of course, most people who live in Ciudades del Cielo work for Nerv, and so they're in on it. Like you Shinji, they believe that we are working toward a better future for mankind. And they're willing to die for that cause. Of course, they don't know that Nerv is actually serving another purpose– or that humanity is being guided by a scenario set up by one man."

"My father," Shinji supplied.

Kaji nodded. "Third impact is the extinction of all life from this earth: it is what every Nerv employee believes will happen if the Coralians 'wake up'– as if they'll finish the job they started a hundred years ago. Like you, they believe that Nerv was set up to prevent this." Kaji now turned to face Shinji. "But that is a lie. Seele set up Nerv precisely to achieve Third Impact. And to do so, they enlisted the help of Dr. Yui Ikari and one Gendo IKari."

"My mother, too?"

"You're mother, after realizing that no physical penetration could be made to the Command cluster that sits beneath Nerv HQ, developed a way to communicate with the Coralians through the synch. system used by the Evas. In the first experiment with this system, Yui Ikari– like the countless thousands in the Second Impact before her– disappeared."

"Oh God," Shinji had his face in his hands. "No. . .no. . .no. Stop telling me this. Why are you telling me this? None of it matters. I'M LEAVING DAMMIT! YOU CAN'T MAKE ME STAY!" Shinji was sobbing.

"No one is forcing you, Shinji." Kaji tore Shinji's hands away from his face, which temporarily dazed Shinji, who was now staring into his calm face. "I believe everyone deserves to know the truth, Shinji. So now you know as much as I can tell you. At least. . .almost." Shinji listened with wrapped attention.

"Seele has never had control of Nerv, once called Gehirn. After the death of Yui Ikari, Gendo Ikari became commander of the newly instituted Nerv, and has been pulling the strings ever since. Pilot selection, the creation of the Evas, Third Impact, Rei Ayanami and the countless others– including Misato– all of it is apart of the vision of this one man. He has his own plan for humanity and Third Impact, though I don't know what."

Kaji released Shinji, who shook visibly. "I was there," he said. "I was there when my mother disappeared." Flashes– images– rushed across Shinji's mind. Kaji didn't seem to notice that Shinji was no longer listening, though he vaguely recognized a few words. "Misato knows. . .answering machine. . .What's that sound?"

What was that sound? Whatever it was, it was becoming increasingly louder. _'Giant Footsteps?'_ That didn't make sense. "Shinji, duck!" Kaji had thrown his body on top of Shinji as the bunkers roof caved in. The pressure of the man's body was increasing, and Shinji had trouble breathing. Then the body above him was moving, and Shinji felt metal and brick fall on his legs. It sounded like a war-zone outside.

"C'mon," Kaji was pulling Shinji out of the rumble. "You're not dead yet." The two emerged onto the Geofront, only to witness the destruction of nearly every Nerv building. The anti-body coralians had breached the Geo front, and neither Eva was in sight.

"What's happening?" Shinji demanded answers from the air. "Where are Asuka and Rei?" Shinji heard a gurgling sound behind him, followed by a large *thud*, as if something had hit the ground. Shinji turned on the spot to see Kaji coughing up blood, and collapsed on the floor.

As Shinji kneeled down to inspect him, Kaji spoke. "It's internal– so don't worry about me. It's them that need you. Asuka– you didn't hear– she can't pilot. And Rei's injured. By now they've figured out that without you Unit-01 won't work. She doesn't have an Eva to fight in–"

But Kaji was wrong. Prompted by the sounds of gears turning, Shinji turned once again to see an one-armed Unit-00 emerge from the cage. "Rei. . .no. . ."


	14. Chapter 19

**What Can You See from Your Place**

Misato blamed herself for Shinji's departure. She had only visited once or twice during his stay in the hospital. More than that, she had known how Shinji was: she should have explained to him exactly what being a pilot meant. She replayed their last conversation in her mind:

"_It's over Misato. I can't do what you, or my father, or anyone else wants...Not anymore."_

"_Shinji, I know I should have told you. I know you've carried more of a buried than anyone in Nerv...But Shinji, you have to look at it from our point of view. All of our hopes we're with you– Shinji, I–!"_

_Shinji took a step forward, as Misato reached out to grab his hand. "Goodbye, Misato. I don't think we'll see each other again."_

But most of all, her neglect of Shinji stemmed from her obsession with finding the truth behind Nerv. Before Rei had called her to ask about Shinji's whereabouts, immediately after Shinji had walked out the door, Misato walked miserably over to her answering machine to replay the message Kaji had sent her two weeks ago.

"_Katsuragi, it's me. __I've probably caused you a lot of trouble: _I'm sorry. By the time you get this. . .If I get to see you again, I'll tell you what I almost said that time. Misato, you have the truth. . .get on with it." 

The message had consumed her for the last two weeks. To be honest, she couldn't concern herself with Shinji now. This was bigger than him– or her. When Shinji suddenly said, his things already packed and in hand, that he was leaving Nerv for good, she couldn't believe it. She had gotten so far into Nerv's history that she knew even more than Kaji, but at the expense of losing the one person she had actually cared for since Kaji during their college days.

Rei's call was her last hope. She knew what Rei was– she knew what this call meant: Shinji was truly humanity's (and the Coralians') only hope. _'She picked him. Was this in your scenario as well, Commander? But then...why let Shinji leave?'_

Then that hope was shattered. The line was cut and the emergency declared. Nerv was under attack.

* * *

Like Shinji's habit of doing what he was told, Rei's habit of following orders kicked in when her conscious thought shut down. When the emergency signal came from the other end of the phone, and she knew that Shinji was truly gone, she shifted into auto-pilot. She walked out of her apartment, and down to the corner, where she entered the Nerv security vehicle and headed to Headquarters.

Without pausing for anything or anyone, Rei made her way to the changing area, then to the preparation area, and finally into Unit-01.

"You ready, Rei?" Dr. Akagi asked, non-too harshly.

'Yes, ma'am."

"Alright," the Doctor said. "Lt. Ibuki, begin." Unit-01 start-up began.

"Begin primary connections. Entry plug secure."

"Transmit pulse."

"List cleared up through 1350. Psychograph position normal."

"Authorized," Dr. Akagi sounded, "proceed to phase two."

"Harmonics normal. All neural links nominal."

"List clear to 2550: Over."

"Absolute borderline on my mark. . .MARK." As soon as the borderline was crossed, alarms sounded.

"What's going on!" Misato yelled. "Status Report!" commanded Dr. Akagi.

"Abnormality in the nerve center! Unit-01 is rejecting the pilot!" Lt. Ibuki reported in panic.

"Impossible!" The Doctor looked up toward the Commander, who was talking to either Fuyutsuki or himself.

"Why do you resist me?" Commander Ikari stood. "Captain Katsuragi, I'm leaving you in charge. I will go down to the bridge to oversee the manual upstart of Unit-01."

Inside Unit-01, Rei took shock after shock to her mind and body over the next half an hour. _'Why?' _she thought to herself. _'Why can't I pilot Unit-01 anymore? . . .Shinji, I need you.'_

Meanwhile, Shinji was being dragged into a bunker, and Kaji began to explain to him the origins and intentions of Nerv; the Coralians got through the Geofront defenses, and Nerv HQ itself was under direct attack within the hour. In futility, the Nerv bridge and Com. Ikari tried to start Unit-01 with Rei as the pilot.

Their efforts were interrupted when the Coralians first hit the pyramid shaped Headquarters. Communication with Com. Ikari was severed, and everyone except Dr. Akagi and Captain Katsuragi fled from the bridge in order to deal with the damage.

In the panic, Rei had regained her calm and formulated a plan. "Captain, can you still hear me?" Rei's voice was weak and panting from the physiological strain caused by each start up test.

"Yes, Rei. We're here with you," Misato responded.

"Doctor, can you configure Unit-00?"

"Yes, Rei," the Doctor responded with resigned solemnity. She seemed to know what Rei was thinking. "But it's damaged. The right leg is only splinted, and the left arm is completely severed at the elbow."

"Wait–!" Misato demanded their attention. "Rei, you can't think of going out there in Unit-00!"

"I am," Rei said simply. "Captain Katsuragi," there was a new confidence in her voice that struck both women, "Dr. Akagi...I believe you both know what I am." Their silence was enough of an answer for Rei. "I can stop this attack. I need to go."

Dr. Akagi's head was spinning. She knew that _this_ attack was engineered. That at the Commander's word, the Coralians life span would drop to twenty-three minutes approx. But they were out of touch with the Commander. The hanger was damaged, and it was likely that the Commander had been injured or rendered unconscious.

Before she could sort out her thoughts, Misato's voice rang out. "Let's do it."

"Captain Katsuragi, you can't–"

"No, Ritsuko," Misato rounded on her friend. "I am the commanding officer, and I'm ordering you to execute the command: task-00." The Doctor bit her lip, and obeyed.

* * *

"Rei. . .no. . ." Shinji couldn't move. Every fiber of his being– every thought in his head– told his legs to run, but they wouldn't budge. "Rei. . .Rei. . ."

Tears leaked from his eyes, blurring the sight of the anti-body coralians swarming toward Unit-00. The sudden movement of the coralians, responding to Unit-00's AT field, acted like a trigger. Along with the swarm, Shinji bolted towards Unit-00, jumping and climbing over the rumble and terrain of the Geofront, without a thought in his head as to what he could do.

"STOP! YOU IDIOT– WHY! YOU'LL DIE, REI! YOU'LL DIE!"

A spare bit of metal sticking out of the ground caused Shinji to trip and eat shit. His hand and arms bleeding from scrapped of skin, and his nose gushing blood, Shinji forced himself to get up and limp toward the scene of hundreds of coralians pounding against the invisible wall of defense made by Unit-00's AT field.

"Stop. . ." he said through dirt and blood. "If you die, Rei. . .that's it. You'll never come back. It will all be over. Just run. . .run away. . .please."

"_It's okay."_ Shinji heard the voice, but it wasn't auditory. The sensation was familiar: he remembered "hearing" Rei's thoughts inside Unit-01 when they would enter what Nerv called "the Zone". But the voice wasn't talking to him, though he couldn't explain how he knew that. But he did _know_ it– and that knowledge made him feel like he was intruding on something private, even sacred.

"_It's okay that he's not here."_

'_I am here!' _he thought desperately.

"_If it causes him pain, it's better that he left."_

'_I didn't leave–' _Shinji thought dazedly. He was losing more and more blood by the moment. _'I mean, I meant to– but. . .!'_

"_I'll make it alright. I'll make it so he never has to feel that pain again. Shinji. . ."_

'_I'm here, Rei!'_

"_If I ever get to see you again, I promise to tell you." _A dazzling force issued forth Unit-00. The last thing Shinji saw was a rainbow explosion of lights, the anti-body coralians disappearing, and– he could have swore– a blue haired girl with, what might have been, red eyes standing only a few yards away from him. She looked so familiar. . .

* * *

Even though she had told the Captain and Dr. Akagi that she knew what she was doing, Rei wasn't at all sure what would happen when she entered the Zone. Unit-01 had always been the perfect vehicle within the Zone, but she herself was the only trigger, or "tunnel", through which anyone, including herself, could enter. Unit-00 had already proven to be an inadequate vehicle: the last person to use it never came back from the other side.

Rei figured the same would happen to her. And with her gone, humans could no longer enter the Zone, and therefore wouldn't be able to communicate with the Command cluster, and so there would be no more need for Nerv– or Seele– there would be no more need for Shinji to be involved with any of this. And that was a good enough reason for Rei. As long as he was alive, he had the chance to be happy, even without her. She couldn't say the same.

'_My heart desired bonds with people. So much so, as to become distraught. . .My heart– before I even knew– it was: trembling, struggling, bleeding, gasping. . .and to realize in this final moment. . .' _

But this wasn't a "final moment". She was thinking: she felt her body and mind existing. She tried to look around, but she couldn't seem to remember how to use her eyes, or her voice, or her arms and legs. _"Don't worry," _Rei heard a voice call to her– she, apparently, still remembered how to hear– _"I'll help you." _Rei felt a hand pull her onto her feet, but she instantly collapsed back into a chair.

–No, it was a bench: a train seat. She was sitting on a train seat, going somewhere, though she couldn't remember where. She looked down and found a book in her hand. _'That's right,'_ Rei thought, _'I have to deliver this book.'_

"_That's right," _the same voice spoke, _"you can give it to me." _Rei looked up to see a small girl with blue hair holding out her arm to take the book.

"Who are you?" Rei asked. "Are you what we call Coralians?"

"_I am you,"_ the girl responded. _"We are Coralian."_

"No," Rei said firmly. "I am me. I am not you."

"_It is true," _the girl agreed. _"We have made you different from us because _they _asked us: because we believe that this may be the only way."_

"What way? Who's way?" Before the girl could answer, Rei was aware of a third presence in the train car. This third person was also a girl, with bluish green hair, a white dress, and what, Rei thought, looked like butterfly wings. "Who are you?"

"I am like you," the girl said cheerfully. The girl looked down at Rei's hands. "You don't have to give her the book, yet: not if you don't want to."

Rei retracted her hand without looking away from the winged girl. "You are a coralian, but you look like a human. Did you ask for me to be made different?"

The girl nodded. "We both did: me and the one I chose, I mean." Rei had a slightly puzzled look on her face that made the girl giggle. "Oh, c'mon. You know what I mean! You have someone like that too, right?"

"Someone, like what?" Rei asked, though she thought she knew exactly what the girl was talking about.

"You have someone you love." It wasn't a question this time.

"Do I love him?" Rei looked back toward the little girl, who sat quietly on the sit, kicking her legs playfully. Rei looked down embarrassed.

"You'll have to give the book back eventually," the white-clad girl interrupted Rei's train of though, "–I think. But it won't be for a long, long time: not if you don't want."

"Then. . ." Rei thought, almost too happy to form words, "I can go back?"

The girl nodded, and motioned to speak, but the little girl cut across her. _"Why would you want to go back?"_ A sudden pain hit Rei's chest. "–_trembling, struggling, bleeding, gasping. . .it hurt so badly, the pain." _It did hurt. It hurt now. Why was this happening? _"This is what going back will bring you," _the voice argued.

"Rei, listen!" The sound of the other girl lessened the pain, but only a bit. "It's true: it hurts sometimes. It may even hurt more than it will feel good! But it's worth it, don't you think? To be with him again? It was for me, I promise!"

"_He left," _the voice tried to reason with Rei. _"He left us. He doesn't care about you anymore."_

"That's not true," a fourth voice issued forth, and it had such a degree of certainty in its statement that for a moment Rei forgot the pain. She looked up to see a brown-haired boy holding the butterfly-winged girl's hand; the little girl still sat, kicking her feet out, apparently disinterested in this new arrival.

The boy was smiling at her, as was the girl whose hand he held. "Listen," they both said. Rei's pain was gone now, and she closed her eyes to listen.

"_Rei. . .Rei. . .Rei. . .Open your eyes– Please, Rei!"_

* * *

Shinji woke up hours after the incident. His arms were bandaged, his chin had stitches, and his nose felt like it would fall off at any moment. But none of that concerned him. Luckily, it was Misato who founded him staggering through the hallways.

"Shinji!" Misato yelled as she ran to his side. "What the hell are you– hey!" Misato had tried to support him, and lead him back to his room, when Shinji suddenly pushed her away. But without Misato or the wall's support, Shinji fell to the floor. This time, he was in too much pain to resist. Misato called for a nurse, and together they led him back to his hospital bed. All the while, Shinji was trying to say something, but the pain of moving his jaw muscles made his words muffled and hard to decipher.

"Shinji, just calm down," Misato said, while trying to keep him lying flat on his back upon the hospital bed. "Dammit, Shinji, that's an order." Shinji stopped struggling. He raised his arm to cover his eyes, and broke into panting sobs. Misato was at loss for what to do. She asked what was wrong– was there anything she could do?

Finally, inspiration struck her. "A pen! And paper! Quick, nurse, get me a pen and paper– and something to write on!" In a second, the nurse handed over the medical clipboard with a blank piece of paper and pencil. Misato handed it to Shinji, who was so distressed that he barely knew what to do with them. Never the less, he managed to scribble one word and shove the board back to Misato, dropping the pencil and attempting to stifle his sobs.

Misato looked at it and read, _REI_. She pulled Shinji's arm away from his eyes to make sure he was looking directly at her. "She's alive, Shinji. You can't see her now though–"

"Bwy?"

Misato said calmly, but sympathetically, "You're too injured. You need to rest, at least for a night– Shinji!"

Shinji was in a fit again: trying to leave his bed, knocking away Misato and the nurse's hands. But he settled quickly enough. He looked at Misato, waited till he caught her attention, and said with immense effort, "Gwagi?"

Misato took a second to figure at what he was saying. Shinji, seeing he trouble, pointed to her chest. "Gaji?" Misato felt her heart beat faster.

"Kaji?" Shinji nodded. "He. . ." Misato bit her lip, "hasn't been seen since before the attack. We're you with him, Shinji?" He nodded. Misato's face brightened. She stood up, and said, "I got to go. Don't do anything stupid. I'll take you to Rei soon. I promise." She didn't wait to see Shinji nod. Besides being preoccupied with finding Kaji, she found it hard to lie to Shinji so openly. He couldn't see Rei, that was true. If he saw her now, there's no telling how he might react.

But Shinji wasn't to be denied. He willed himself to stay awake, despite the massive amount of pain killer the nurse injected into his IV once the Captain had left. He knew that if he could just stay awake passed the initial effects, it would be a lot easier to talk and walk.

It felt like only seconds, but Shinji managed to stay awake for the next two hours in his bed. It was now or never, Shinji thought. He wouldn't recover anymore strength by lying here. Slowly but surely, he got on his feet, walked out the door, down the hall, and toward the other hospital rooms.

He looked into each one, but they were all empty. Hearing someone come down the hall, Shinji desperately stumbled toward the elevator. He hit the first button he could reach, and the elevator began to descend. He didn't know what he was going to do now. The thought that Misato had lied– that Rei was dead– entered Shinji's mind for the briefest moment, but he forced it out of his head. But hadn't all the hospital rooms been empty?

Before Shinji could continue down this line of thought, the elevator doors opened and Dr. Akagi appeared. _'Shit.'_ This was the last person Shinji wanted to see. Now he was sure to be strapped to his hospital bed, or else shipped off Nerv's base to some civilian hospital wear he would never learn what became of Rei.

Shinji's luck, however, was better than he could have imagined, for Dr. Akagi had been hoping to get to Shinji before Misato worked up the courage to tell him the truth. Without a word, she entered the elevator and turned her security key into a slot by the floor buttons on the elevator wall. "Your looking for Rei, aren't you, Shinji?"

She might have been asking him if he were looking for a textbook on his way out the door to school. Nevertheless, Shinji nodded truthfully.

"Does that mean you want to stay at Nerv?" Shinji stood perfectly still, meeting the Doctor's formidable gaze. "You want to stay for her?" Shinji still gave no sign of answering her. Ritsuko sighed. "You know Shinji," she said in a kind but condescending way, "it would be best to have me on your side. I am the head of Project E, and could have you re-instated easily. But Nerv has no more time or money to waste on a flakey brat who can't make up his mind one way or the other. No one's forcing you, Shinji."

The Doctor was going to speak again, but Shinji had opened his mouth. He was struggling to speak, but Dr. Akagi was patient. "My'm dayin' wif Rei."

Ritsuko raised her eyebrow. "Do you promise that, Shinji?"

Shinji glared at her. "My'm da pilod ov Unit-01. My'll pilod to prodec Rei."

She smiled. "Even if Rei is the very thing that is threatening the human race?" Shinji had a half distressed, half confused look on his face. "Even if Rei is the same being as the countless enemies that you have destroyed?"

Shinji's heart was racing. He looked at the dial above the elevator door, and saw that they were passing Level EEE. Shinji never realized that Nerv went so far underground. The elevator stopped, and the doors opened. The sight that meant Shinji was hauntingly familiar. It reminded him of Rei's apartment, except the walls were clear, and behind them flowed an endless amount of LCL.

In the far corner, Shinji saw a bed, but the figure laying in it was horrible. It wasn't human. Shinji thought that it had a head, and something like legs. But it was covered in a grey-ish pink slime, and hard, crystal-like appendages were growing out of it from every which way.

"Go on, Shinji," the Doctor prompted him. "I'll be going, but this elevator will take you back up to the hospital wing whenever you'd like." Shinji barely heard her words. He walked dream-like toward the bed, which had a singular chair propped beside it.

He knew it was true before he saw, but that didn't make the sight any less shocking. Amidst the slime, and rock, and growth, lay the figure of a girl Shinji knew too well. He wanted to run. His hatred, and sadness, and confusion all rushed back to him, and he wanted to be done with Nerv and not have to think anymore. It was all too painful.

Why was it, that when a slimmer of hope was shown, the darkness chose at that moment to engulf him? He had left Rei, and Asuka, and Misato, and everyone else to die; and now, they had all left him...here: miles beneath the earth.

But self-pity and despair was broken by disgust and longing. _'It's my fault.' _Shinji collapsed, not on the chair, but on his knees by Rei's bedside. His arms fell limply over her body, and he felt the foreign substance cling to his skin, but didn't care. _'I want to talk to you again, Rei. I want you here. I'm sorry, I lied. I'm sorry that I ever said I could protect you. It's you who needs to protect me. I need you, Rei.'_

Shinji forced himself upright, and leaned over Rei's body to look upon her lifeless face. Tears dripped from his eyes and landed upon her cheek. He sobbed loudly, and his words dissolved. It seemed as if he would morn Rei for eternity.

Shinji shut his eyes tight, as if in prayer– or like a child wishing on a star– and said through heaving breathes, "Rei. . .Rei. . .Rei. . .Open your eyes– Please, Rei!" He continued to cry, eyes closed tight, not heeding the movement below him.

Suddenly, he felt a hand stroke his cheek. His eyes popped open in deadly surprise, and the vision that greeted him was the one he had most longed for. Rei was looking at him with joy beyond love, and smiling weakly. He brought his hand to hers, pushing it against his cheek, as if to make sure it was real.

"Don't cry," he heard Rei's sweet voice say. "Don't look so sad."

* * *

Note: I figured I owed you guy's for missing last week's update (I was on vacation), so these two chapters (18 & 19) have been the longest I've written.


	15. Chapter 20

**The Future is in Our Hands**

The inner workings of Seele are known by only a handful of people. Not even Gendo Ikari could tell us the politics or logistics than transpire amongst the those men who cloud themselves in mysteries and shadow. For some reason, only five members stood in for this meeting, which concerned the most vital issue since their founding that needed to be dealt with.

"The incident," a man with a pointed nose and spectacles began, "is far diverged from our scenario."

A fellow member, heavier and mustached, but also bespectacled, responded, "The true path must be redeemed."

"Was it not," questioned a hard jawed man with flowing, white hair, "an error from the beginning to give Nerv to Gendo Ikari?"

"Perhaps," the chairman said earnestly, "yet we could not have realized what we have without him."

A man with an equally pointed nose, and slicked back hair, looked over the papers in his hands. "This goes beyond the matter of Eva Unit-01, which seems to be in the sole command of Ikari's son."

"Indeed," continued the first man, "The loss of Unit-00 is acceptable, but Unit-02 remains damaged and its pilot incapacitated."

The second man spoke. "The facilities greatly damaged: central dogma exposed: if a _true_ attack were to manifest itself, Nerv would be destroyed, and the scenario fulfilled too soon."

"The list grows long. We cannot even measure the amount of money and time that has been lost: all because we did not keep a bell around Ikari's neck."

"No, the bell was there– it just did not ring."

"What is the point of the bell, then?"

"Rather than ring," the chairman concluded, "We shall have it strike."

* * *

Misato was standing next to two LCL tanks, miles below the Geofront. Dr. Akagi sat behind her, scribbling something on the medical clipboard. "I surprised how well this is working on their wounds. When was Nerv gonna share the benefits of LCL treatment with the rest of the medical community?"

Ritsuko didn't look up from her clipboard, but answered Misato amicably. "It's still theoretical. It works on Rei, who is biologically human, but who, as a Coralian, has a unique relationship with the primordial matter." Anticipating Misato's argument, the Doctor continued. "It works on Shinji because his wound were covered and bonded on the cellular level with the Scub."

"Hmph," Misato turned back to look at the two pilots, suspended in separate LCL tanks, blissfully unaware that four days had passed since Rei awoke to see Shinji in misery above her. "Still. . .It's hard to imagine Rei being pulled from the Scub. Who was it that found them again?"

"Vice Commander Fuyutsuki," answered Ritsuko, still writing on the clipboard. "Apparently, Rei was already passed out, from blood loss, with what looked like chemical burns on her back. Shinji was carrying her through the hallways, and mumbling something like apologizes: saying 'She told me not to leave her. . .I had to get her away from it.'"

"Will they have any scars?" For the first time, Ritsuko looked at Misato, putting her clipboard down, and taking her glasses off to rub her eyes. "Shinji won't. The Scub seemed to actually heal his wounds. On some level, the same is true for Rei, but she will have some discoloration and elevated skin on her back– nothing too severe. Like I said before, the LCL will help."

"How much longer will they be?"

"I told you not to come till four," the Doctor sighed. "It will be another hour."

Misato sighed back. "I'm gonna get some food. Want anything?"

"What's the news on Kaji?"

The Captain stopped in her tracks. "If he isn't dead," Misato said coldly, "then he soon will be." She entered the elevator, and in a second was gone.

* * *

Shinji awoke at around 7 p.m., feeling better than he had in his entire life– though awful hungry. He got up easily, and walked out of his room. He looked up and down the hall, half expecting to see Rei staring out one of the large windows. But she wasn't there.

"Shinji? What are you doing up!" Shinji turned to see Misato running down the hall toward him. "Are you alright, Shinji? What do you need?" But before he could answer, Misato threw her arms around her. "Oh, Shinji, I'm sorry. I didn't mean for any of this. I didn't mean for you and Rei to–"

"Misato, stop!" Shinji put his hands on her shoulders and slowly pulled her off. "I'm fine! I know, Kaji told me. You were right: we're in this together. I won't run away anymore: not from my father, not from Nerv, and certainly not from myself." Misato was in shocked silence. "I promise," Shinji finished with a not-too-genuine smile on his face.

"Ok," Misato muttered dumbly. She wiped her eyes and stood upright. "Is there anything you need? Anything I can do? Oh– Rei's just in that room at the end." This time, they both smiled.

"Eto. . .just, something to eat–Ah, for me and Rei."

"Sure," Misato said happily. "I'll send two trays up to Rei's room." Shinji blushed. "See you at home, then?"

"Yes," Shinji said firmly, assuaging Misato's fears that he might actually not come home. She walked away, and Shinji walked toward the last room at the end of the hall.

* * *

Fuyutsuki was sweating, standing next to his seated companion, who's head was heavily bandaged. The Vice-Com. broke the deafening silence. "It seems that you have never been fighting against fate. Fate is on you side. . .Lucky for us, but it makes your accomplishments that much less impressive."

"It has not always been so," Gendo declared. Their minds drifted back ten years. . .to the loss of Yui, whom they had both loved. "Fate has a firm grip, and powerful arms; but man has still the power to defy and overcome that fate."

"Free will? Can such a grace truly exist?" Fuyutsuki sat opposite Nerv's commander. "What will you do know that Seele is at the gates, and the last Summer of Love is ready to begin?"

"They must take that step which the previous King and Queen did not, before going to the other side of the Zone." Fuyutsuki looked at Ikari with disgust and shock, but the Commander continued." Their union will mean salvation for us all."

"You mean your salvation," corrected Fuyutsuki. "You are many thing, Gendo Rokubungi, but you are not a humanitarian." He did not respond.

* * *

Shinji opened the door slowly, and sure enough he found Rei asleep in her bed. There were no bandages, or bruises, but Shinji knew that her back must bear the scars of the Scub Coral. He looked across the room for a chair, and, finding one, brought it to her bedside and sat down.

Shinji sat looking at Rei, sleeping peacefully, for some time, not knowing that Rei had been awake since Shinji entered. Misato came with the food, and Shinji ate greedily, all the while contemplating whether it was worth it to wake up Rei.

For her part, Rei thought that the smell of food was a good enough excuse as any to reveal her consciousness. Convincingly, she made a few groans and slowly stretched her body, as if shaking of the stiffness of sleep. "Ah– don't move, Rei!" She reacted instantly to Shinji's voice, and stopped moving. Slowly, she turned her head and opened her eyes to look at Shinji. His face showed nought but concern.

"Shinji," Rei said and smiled. This made Shinji blush, but Rei was to elated at the discover that she didn't need a reason at all to smile at Shinji.

"Don't force yourself, Rei," Shinji urged. "You've only just woken." But Rei was as lively and well enough to move around as Shinji was when he first awoke– and equally as hungry.

"Is it time for dinner?" she asked innocently.

"Oh! Right," Shinji looked back at Rei's tray of food. "You must be starving, I know I was. Just wait a moment." Rei watched patiently as Shinji retrieved her tray, placed on her bed, and repositioned himself near where her head lay. "Try to sit up a bit– eto– here I'll help you move your pillows."

Rei needed no help at all, but this feeling was so curious. The attention and care that Shinji was paying her made everything seem brighter– happier. "I-if you l-like, I'll...help you eat." Shinji's stuttering and blushing only added to Rei's glee, and she was glad that Shinji wasn't looking at her face when she turned beat red.

"Yes, please," she replied quietly. The rest of Rei's meal was spent in silence. Shinji cut up her tofo– the Nerv staff obviously knew that Rei didn't eat meat– and served her entire dinner in manageable bites. Once in a while, Shinji and Rei's eyes would meet, as Rei bit down on the spoon that Shinji held out for her food. The two would stare at each other for a few seconds, till Shinji looked down at the plate to scoop up another bite.

Afterwards, Shinji cleaned up their meal, left it outside the door, and Rei snuggled back beneath her covers. The sudden intake of so much food– she had eaten all of it, fed from Shinji's hand– made her uncharacteristically lethargic; but she wouldn't sleep. Not yet. She had promised herself that, if they ever saw one another again, she would tell Shinji.

"It was good, wasn't it, Rei? I mean, for hospital food, anyways." Rei nodded. Shinji, not wanting to ruin the mood, but desperate to know, decided to bring up the one question that they had to talk about eventually. "Rei. . .what was that? What are you?"

Rei was mortified. Her smile melted, and her body crumbled. Shinji looked straight at her, but she couldn't meet his gaze. She pulled the covers over her head, and turned away on her side, hugging her knees.

"Rei, don't..." Shinji pleaded. The sadness in his voice made Rei break out of her self-pity. She hated that sadness. He was happy a moment ago: they both were. Why did she have to be different? It wasn't fair.

"The fifth time," Rei said loudly enough for Shinji to hear her through the covers, "I was beyond happy. I felt complete. Shinji. . .I felt real for the first time in my life."

The covers were pulled back just enough to show Rei's face, and Rei turned to face Shinji in surprise, her face streaked with tears.

He put his hand to her cheek, and wiped them both gently. He repeated her own words, "Don't cry. . .Don't look so sad." Rei sat up, hugging the sheets to her chest. Shinji sat next to her, upon the bed. He was smiling. "You don't have to say anything. You don't need to talk about it, now. I don't care, Rei. It's true: I want to know everything about you, but I've made my decision either way. I'm going to protect you, Rei– and Asuka, Dewey, Misato, and everyone else."

Rei swallowed her tears, and threw herself onto Shinji, who caught her in his arms. Rei cried harder than she had when she was alone on her bed. "Don't leave me! Shinji . . . don't go, please! I want to be with you, always! I want to be close to you! I– I–"

"I love you, Rei." She stopped crying, and Shinji immediately regretting saying those words. They had slipped out effortlessly without any conscious thought. He had never said those words before, and yet he carelessly tossed them out now while he held Rei in his arms.

Rei pulled away, hiccuping now, in place of her tears. She looked into Shinji's eyes, and he looked back, disgusted by his carelessness. "Rei, I don't. . .I don't know if I can ever love you–" Shinji stopped at the look of heart break on Rei's face, and, for Shinji, time stopped.

He had realized then what had made him say those three words: he wanted to stop Rei crying. And that same feeling– when he saw the misery in her face– roused inside him, urging his body to move. He closed the small distance between Rei and himself, and pressed his lips against hers.

Rei's eyes stayed open, for the second or two that Shinji had his lips over hers; but as he pulled away, she closed them both in hopes of savoring the sense of touch left upon her lips. She heard Shinji speak, and opened her eyes slowly.

"I can't trust my feelings," Shinji explained. He put his hand on his heart, and spoke again. "They change too often, and I can't promise that what I feel for you will last." Shinji placed his free hand on top of Rei's right. "But I _will_ love you. I _will_ protect you. I _will not_ leave you."

"Shinji," Rei smiled sadly. "I will love you, too," she put her arms around Shinji, and kissed his neck. "I do love you." Rei squeezed Shinji, who squeezed back, so tightly, Rei thought that, from lack of breathe, she might die happy in his arms.

'_Know what do I do?' _Shinji thought. He couldn't stay like this much longer. He had confessed and kissed Rei in one day: that was more than enough. Anymore, and Shinji thought he might scare Rei away, or do something– _*gulp*_– compromising. "You– we should rest now, don't'cha think?"

Shinji pulled away, and made to get off the bed. He had one foot off the bed, when a tug to his arm made him fall back, face up on the bed with his legs dangling off the side. He was looking up into Rei's eyes. Her face was red.

"Stay with me," Rei commanded. Shinji nodded dumbly. She lay down, separating her two pillows– one for Shinji, and one for her– and airing out the blanket so it could spread over two. Shinji laid down slowly next to her, pulling the blanket over him and hoping that Rei had enough to cover herself.

Apparently, she did not. The two pilots lay back to back: Rei was pressing her's against Shinji's. Shinji lie awake for some time, when he felt Rei seize his hand that lie upon his hip. Shinji intertwined his fingers with hers, and the two fell asleep together. No one, including Dr. Akagi, and especially Misato, had the heart to wake the two, who slept till morning.

Both pilots woke early enough for a late breakfast. To Shinji's great discomfort, every Nerv personnel seem to think that Rei holding hands, and smiling so often, was more important than their respective jobs. Rei, on the other hand, barely seemed to notice them. She had eyes only for Shinji.

Following Shinji's desire to know everything about her, Rei talked quietly, though incessantly, about herself– starting from as far back as she could remember. She spoke an awful lot about the Commander, knowing full well that Shinji wouldn't particular like hearing about it. But Rei thought it important that Shinji know why she held such affection for the Commander. He had taught her how to live, and– until Shinji– why she should live.

When they were finished with breakfast, Rei took a hold of Shinji's hand once again and said, "I want to show you some place."

"Ok," Shinji said happily. And Rei led him out of Nerv HQ, onto the Geofront, and across the decimated landscape. Near are far corner, where the destruction did not reach, and the river running through the Geofront seemed to empty into a small lake, or large well– no doubt the beginning of several underground streams– the two stopped at an outdoor chapel, or something of that sort.

The building lay at the end of peninsula-like walkway that extended to the middle of the still water. The small steepled hut was lined with benches, and a cross protruded from the middle of its floor. At the doorway, Rei relinquished Shinji's hand, and walked serenely toward the cross.

As she turned to face Shinji, Rei said, "This place is a chapel, built when the second branch of Gehirn was first established here." Shinji didn't leave the doorway. "People were down here so long, working on the construction of all that lays in ruins around us, that, naturally, co-workers began to fall in love and get married. They built this chapel here to celebrate the marriages, and be wed in a ceremony."

"I don't think," Shinji said nervously, "that we'll be here that long. This will all be over before we're old enough to. . ." He stopped there, seeing Rei's blushing countenance, and too embarrassed himself to go on.

But Rei continued. "This," Rei ran her hand over the cross, "is a symbol from an ancient people. They believed that marriage bonded two people together." Rei's hands met and intertwined. She looked longingly at Shinji, "Two flesh becoming one."

Without realizing it, Shinji had drawn closer and closer to the center, toward Rei and the cross. If he only reached out his hand, he could touch her. Rei kept her hands together and closed her eyes, like she was praying. Shinji closed the distance between them once again, and kissed her lips. This time, when Shinji began to pull away, Rei leaned forward and offered her lips again. Their bodies didn't touch, only their lips, and their tongues. They stood together, joined tenderly, kissing passionately for a time. Nothing else mattered.

When they both drew apart, Rei took a step forward, and Shinji enveloped her in his arms. She spoke, "When I went into the Zone alone, I thought I might never come back. The Scub Coral asked me to become one with them. But I didn't want that. I wanted to come back. . .Shinji," and Rei broke from his arms to look him full in the face. "I want to become one with you."


	16. Chapter 21

**The Lost World**

In that moment, Rei would have liked nothing more than to kiss Shinji– not be kissed by him– for the first time. But there was something in his face that poked at her state of bliss. In response to her bold proclamation, she had expected his feelings to mirror her own: tentative confusion, embarrassment, but, above all, happiness. Happiness at knowing that not only did she want to be with him forever, but that she wanted all of him.

But there wasn't happiness– at least, not of the kind she felt. Shinji smiled at her: not as a friend or a lover, but like grown-up or teacher would at a child to whom they were about to explain something fairly complicated.

"Rei," Shinji began, in a placating tone, "I don't think you know what you're saying." If Shinji hadn't looked down in embarrassment– he couldn't believe he was about to explain sex to Rei– he might have noticed Rei's look of cold fury. "When two people b-become one...it's painful– f-for girls, at least. Well, anyways, we've only kissed, so to do something like that–"

Shinji looked up to see Rei's expressionless face. _'No,'_ thought Shinji. It wasn't 'expressionless', he knew better than that now. This face, though imperceptibly similar to the face Rei had seemed to wear her whole life, showed something other than disinterest or apathy. The memory of Rei slapping him after he had disrespected his father, the Commander, came to the forefront of his thoughts. _'Hate.'_ That was it: Rei hated him for what he had just said or done.

All this passed through Shinji's mind in a mere second, and, sure enough, Rei's hand was in the air before that second had passed. Shinji felt a hard hand connect to his cheek, which sent him stumbling back a pace or two. And before Shinji could recover his bearings, Rei was walking swiftly passed him and out of the small chapel.

'_Shinji,'_ Rei thought, too furious to allow herself to shed a single tear, _'. . .you idiot.'_ She wanted nothing more than to leave Nerv and go back to her lifeless apartment. She had made her choice to come back. The Scub Coral had warned her– that girl had warned her– that she was going back to a world of pain and suffering, but that was okay. As long as she had Shinji, it would be alright. She would forgive Shinji as soon as he asked for it. She would give herself to him completely, as soon as he asked: she would show him that she knew _exactly_ what she meant when she had confessed that she wanted to become one.

But not now. Right now, she didn't want to look, hear, or think about Shinji at all.

* * *

But Shinji was right, in some respects. Rei really didn't know what sex was. Unlike Shinji, who had spent hours– days– weeks– years– alone with himself, disconnected from family, friends, and any real people, Rei had never found romance or copulation interesting. She never explored her feelings, or her body, and so didn't know the vast stores of pleasure and variety that two lovers could share.

On the other hand, Shinji was a normal, healthy teenage boy. He never had a girlfriend– he had hardly talked to other boys, let alone girls, before coming to Ciudades del Cielo– but that didn't stop him from "learning" about the female body. Or sex. Or masturbation. When the time did come for him to share that love with someone else– and he knew now that it could only ever be Rei, and Rei alone– he wanted to be "well studied".

It was these images of nameless strangers, exploring each other and entangling their bodies, that flashed through Shinji''s head when Rei said that she wanted to "become one" with him. He didn't consider his feelings for Rei, or Rei's feelings for him– he didn't even consider if they were too young, or not ready (though that was the excuse he had tried to explain to Rei)– the sheer surreal-ness of what he had built up in his mind as "sex" seemed so removed from him that his default response was to deny that he could do something like _that_ with Rei. In reality, he wanted nothing more: not to satisfy his lust– though he couldn't deny that lust was definitely apart of it– but to satisfy his soul's longing to be joined with its destined pair through their bodies.

It took a good two hours for Shinji to work all this out, sitting alone, nursing his cheek, in the outside chapel. He figured that Rei was already back in her apartment. He would let her alone for the rest of the day. Maybe tomorrow, he could bring her flowers– _'that says "I'm sorry," to a girl, right?– _and they would make up, after he begged for forgiveness.

'_But what then?'_ Shinji asked himself. _'Well, better cross that bridge when we come to it.'_ Shinji got up, walked across the destroyed Geofront once more, and toward the Nerv exit.

"Stop, Pilot Ikari."

"Huh?" Shinji hadn't been paying attention. He was standing right in front of the Geofront's Exit, which would lead to the industrial escalator, and then out to the street.

"No one is allowed to exit the Nerv building."

"What? Why?" Instead of answering him, the security guard used his radio to call for Misato. "What's going on?" Shinji kept asking; but the security only responded, "Classified."

"Shinji! I've been looking for you. Where's Rei?" Misato called as she ran up to the gate.

"How should I know?" Shinji said fiercely, startling Misato. "Sorry," Shinji said, running his hands back through his hair.

"It's fine. I'm sure Rei's fine."

"Misato, why can't we leave? Is there attack?"

"No," Misato said, truthfully. _'Should I tell him? No, I'll tell both of them, tonight.'_

"Misato," Shinji pleaded, "can you please tell me–"

"Now, now, Shin-chan," Misato said in an upbeat manner, "that's not your problem. Help me find Rei, 'kay? She can't be on the lower levels or the bridge: they are all locked off. She's gotta be in the hallways, restrooms, bath or prep areas– oh! I still haven't checked the hospital wing either. No more questions!" Misato yelled, seeing the protest in Shinji's eyes. "Go find Rei, please. I'll explain everytthhiiiiinng– tomorrow morning, promise."

Shinji nodded, and ran off to find Rei. But before he turned the first corner, he looked back at Misato, who smiled at him. "Do you know where I could get flowers, Misato?"

Misato's tender smile turned devilish. "For Rei-chan, huh?" Shinji went red, but didn't respond. "There wwaaaass a garden in section B of the Geofront. It may not still be there though." Shinji turned to leave, when Misato cheered, "Good Luck~Shin-chan!"

It took Shinji a good three hours to find the garden– which was mostly in tact, though clearly neglected since the attack on HQ– and gather descent flowers. He would find Rei, that wasn't the hard part– he already had an idea of where she was hiding. But first, he would have to own up to the consequences of his actions.

He went to the hospital wing, knocking on Asuka's hospital door before entering. "Sorry for intruding," Shinji said as he stepped pass the threshold, but there was no one in the room except a– was she awake! Shinji walked briskly to the side of Asuka's bed, in which was Asuka, wide-eyed and sitting up. Shinji was about to speak to her, when he noticed what she was holding: whatever it was, Asuka was staring at it. _'Something's not right.'_

"Asu–" Shinji found it hard to speak. ". . .Asuka, it's me, Shinji. How are you feeling?" The red-haired pilot didn't answer: she continue to stare at the greenish rectangle in her hand. Shinji took a close look at it. He recognized it now– how could he have not recognized such a common piece of machinery? It was a Compac Drive.

"Asuka," Shinji tried again, "I brought these for you." He laid down the bouquet of flowers in his right hand down on the table beside the bed. "To say 'sorry'. Asuka. . ." He began to cry, though he felt that he hardly had a right to cry in front of this girl. He kept his voice steady, and held back as much of his tears as he could. "You were right. I'm an idiot. I'm the biggest idiot. I was making excuses, Asuka: always making them. I had a choice to fight: I know I did. I was so. . .no– I'm sorry, again. I don't have the right to make any more excuses. But I'll fix it, Asuka. I promise I'll–"

"What could you do?" Shinji turned around swiftly to see Dewey carrying in a bowl of soup. Shinji backed away from the bed, and the chair that he now notice stood beside it. Dewey set the plate down on a sort of suspended desk, which he wheeled over so as to position it at Asuka's lap, as if she was about to eat.

"Dewey," Shinji croaked. He wiped his eyes before continuing. "I didn't mean– I never wanted her to–"

"Asuka," Dewey interrupted him. Shinji was stunned. "Don't talk as if she isn't here...Call her, Asuka." Dewey looked at Shinji for the first time since he had entered, but his face didn't show any negative emotion. Shinji thought that Dewey almost pitied him.

"I never wanted Asuka to get hurt because me," Shinji finished. "It happened, and I take full responsibility–"

"No, you won't." Dewey was stating a fact, not arguing, and Shinji fell dumb once again. "I told you before, Shinji: Asuka chose this."

"BUT I COULD HAVE FOUGHT!" Shinji couldn't help the tears now. "I let her fight instead of me, thinking it would be alright. And I know you'd say– that Rei, and Ritsuko, and Misato would say– that I was under lock down. But that's not what stopped me. Unit-01 listens to me: I know it would have moved if I asked it. But. . .but. . .I WAS SCARED! I was scared to fight again, even though I said I would protect Rei. And then I just left, like a coward."

"Yes, Shinji," Dewey agreed. "You are– or were– a coward." The accusation hit Shinji, who wiped his eyes once more and refused to continue feeling sorry for himself. "But I will bear the burden of Asuka's choice, so you don't have to." Dewey looked at Shinji again, and smiled. "They say that she has "desperation disease", but I don't believe it."

Shinji looked unbelieving. He had heard of the disease, but it was like smallpox or rickets: it just didn't happen anymore. "Oh, not because it's so rare," Dewey answered the look in Shinji's eyes. "By all accounts, she should have it. But you see, I haven't given up hope."

Dewey had been feeding Asuka the soup throughout Shinji's shouts, and his quiet replies. Shinji saw that only the slightest amount from each spoonful entered her mouth. Dewey was catching the excess in a napkin.

Once again, Dewey looked up at Shinji. "I have hope in you, Shinji Ikari. And in Rei Ayanami." Shinji remained in stunned silence, meeting Dewey's stare, which carried in it a look of cunning. "You are not the only one to whom the spy Ryoji Kaji spoke. I suppose he thought that we both could do something to stop Seele, and your father, in the end. But he was wrong. My place is here with Asuka. Your place is with Rei, right?"

Shinji nodded firmly. Dewey stood, and held out his hand. Shinji shook it, and listened as the other said, "Then all you need to do is protect her. This should help." Dewey pulled his hand away and sat down. Shinji looked at his palm to see the key card that Dewey had placed in it. "That will get you through any of the security locks put in place."

"Thank you, Dewey." Shinji took one last look at Asuka, and walked toward the door, looking down at the keycard as he walked.

"Aren't those for the Second?" a voice with ice and venom asked.

* * *

Unbeknown to Shinji, Rei wasn't hiding at all. After discovering that she couldn't leave Nerv, but still not wanting to run into Shinji, she went out on the Geofront to wander in its secluded corners till she cooled down enough to return to her hospital room– where, hopefully, Shinji would be waiting to find her. However, by chance, Rei had caught sight of someone walking out across the Geofront a few hours later: someone who was carrying two handfuls of flowers from the garden just beyond the mound.

It was Shinji. Rei melted at the idea that Shinji had come out here, dug into the earth– she noticed the dirt and sweat clinging to his body and clothes– and brought back flowers for her. She made toward him, but did not call out. He would probably go looking for her, but all the while she would be following him. When he gave up or reached the hospital room, she would surprise him. _'And then we'll be together. . .'_ Rei blushed at the thought.

But Shinji was heading for the hospital wing first! Rei steadied herself, and internally checked if she was quite ready to forgive Shinji completely. She was. Rei watched as Shinji walked toward her hospital room, then past her door, and into the second children's room.

Now, Rei experienced something new. It wasn't anger, or frustration, or sadness. Shinji had made her feel all these things at least once before, and Rei thought that she had a good handle on how to distinguish them. But this feeling wasn't roused by Shinji: it responded to the thought of the red-haired pilot.

It felt, absurdly, like what Rei thought of as love. Her chest tightened, her face went red, and she had a hard time thinking– she was so elated at the thought of Shinji going to the Second with flowers. But this wasn't love. It wasn't soft, yet suffocating– or warm and pink. It was green and viscous. It didn't want Shinji to hold her and kiss her and tell her sweet things that would make her forgive him anything. This feeling of jealously wanted to jump Shinji: to hold him so tight it would hurt, and pull him away from everyone, especially Asuka Soryu, just to be alone with him– and to scream at anyone who came close, _"MINE!"_

Rei stormed to the other end of the hall, stopping to box in this emotion with the rest of them. She stood motionless, looking coldly at nothing in particular. She waited there, taking no notice of Dewy's entrance into the room, but walking back over to stand opposite the door: hoping that Shinji would be the next to walk out.

He was. Shinji looked up from the key card at the sound of Rei's voice.

"Eto. . .No," Shinji answered honestly. He held them out, but Rei's face remained stoic. "They're for you, Rei." Shinji started counting the seconds.

_. .2. . .4. . .7. . .10_

Rei took the flowers from his hand, making sure not to let her relief and happiness show in her countenance. She held them close and smelled them serenely. "Thank you. . .they're pretty, and smell nice."

"I. . ." Shinji wondered whether the truth would be the best policy in this situation. He gulped, and reached out his hand to bring Rei's arms down, so he could look into her eyes unfettered. "I was going to get you Sky-flowers. They sell them at a florist near the school. Ah– they have white stems and blue petals, you see?" Shinji's face was becoming increasingly redder, but he refused to break eye contact. Rei was still stone faced, but her insides were doing back flips. "They reminded me of your skin and hair. I passed by that shop at least a hundred times– when I was building up my courage to ask you out on a first date."

Shinji was rambling and he knew it. Rei had looked down, away from him and the flowers in her hand, at the mention of the word _"date"_.

'_Now, say it now!' _Shinji demanded of himself. He lifted his hand to raise her cheek, hoping that Rei wouldn't knock it away. It looked for a moment that she might, but Shinji instead saw that Rei laid her hand on top of his, encouraging him to fell her skin and run his fingers through her hair. "I'm sorry for what I said, Rei. I didn't think about your feelings, or mine. The truth is: I want to become one with you."

Shinji lifted her head to the level of his own, and leaned in for a kiss– but got a face full of flowers. "Hey–!" But before Shinji could be too outraged at Rei's fun, his mouth was silenced by her lips. For Rei's "first kiss", the two's situations were reversed: Shinji's eyes were wide open, while Rei kissed, smiling, with her eyes closed. And as Rei pulled away, Shinji went on the attack.

Rei's arms fell to her side as Shinji wrapped himself around her– one of his hands in her hair, and the other on the small of her back– forcing her back to the wall. Their lips stayed locked in a desperate struggle, Shinji laughing at Rei's sounds of assent that issued forth from her mouth, as if she was tasting something particularly good.

There was no telling how long they would have stayed like that– making out, unashamedly– if it wasn't for Rei's ecstasy reaching the point that she unclenched her fist and dropped the flowers. The soft _*thud*_ and rustle of leaves, made Rei pull away. She bent down to pick them up, grabbing Shinji's hand on her way up.

Rei's face was full of emotion. For a long time, she hadn't known how to feel: ten long years that seemed like such a waste of life, now that she had Shinji. Then– as she had told Shinji when, for the first time in her life, she had smiled– she didn't know what to feel. But now, she smiled with all her heart toward the boy who held her heart.

"Is there someplace we can be alone?" she asked.

Shinji glanced toward the elevator shaft, then back at Rei, and nodded.


	17. Chapter 22

**Full Emotion Fools**

Shinji led Rei to the end of the hallway and, swiping Dewey's keycard, into the elevator. He pressed the lowest level button, knowing it would take him to the room where he had found Rei covered in the Scub.

"Shinji, your hand. . ." He suddenly relinquished his grip, which had become unbearably tight.

"I'm sorry, I–" Shinji turned away in shame. ". . .nervous." Rei took his hand, using it to turn his body toward her, and pulled him close. Shinji felt Rei place his hand on her lower black. Her cheek brushed against his in their loving embrace.

'_I thought Rei was as tall as me.' _She was so close now that Shinji could see that her eye line fell an inch or two below his. She smelled like LCL. _'I guess I don't hate that smell. . .not anymore.'_ Shinji squeezed when he felt Rei's breathe upon his neck. She kissed him there in response. And again, and again, till she made her way to his lips.

Lights flashed by, along with metal and wire, as the elevator descended and the two kissed. Shinji took the initiative this time, licking Rei's soft lips, hoping for entrance. She mirrored his actions, and soon she was on the attack. Shinji took a step back and his back hit the elevator wall, but Rei didn't let up.

"Ah!" Shinji put his hand to his lip as Rei quickly pulled away. She retreated so fast, that

her tooth had made a miniscule cut on the inside of Shinji's lip. He was about to ask why Rei had– but then he saw her bend down and begin panting. He took the few short step over to her, and squatted so he could see her face. "Rei, I'm sorry. What's wrong?"

"_*pant*_ –squeezing _*pant* –_my fault," Rei managed. Shinji didn't think he had been holding her that tightly. Rei didn't think the pain on her back was worth mentioning. Of course it would hurt, only a few days ago she had been torn from the Scub Coral. _'But. . .it feels like a burning.'_ She pushed the thought from her mind.

Shinji straightened up with Rei, who immediately walked into Shinji's arm, expectantly. "We don't have to. . ." Shinji stopped himself, knowing that his body would scream at the denial of it's **want**. "We can wait till the elevator stops."

Rei stared at Shinji inscrutably for a few seconds, then rested her head on his shoulder. Rei's hands wrapped tightly over Shinji's arms and around his body. Rei felt Shinji take in a breath, about to speak, so she cut in first. "I love you."

"I love you," Shinji said, perfectly satisfying Rei's unspoken request. The elevator opened. Shinji broke free of Rei's hold, took her by the hand, and led her out into the large room. The two made their way to the bed.

"What are you looking for?" Rei asked.

"Oh," Shinji had been scanning the walls. He blushed. "There's one other elevator: that comes from the bridge hanger. No one will come from there today because we're in repair, not battle alert. But that door. . ."

"It leads both down and up, but by means of an escalator, not an elevator."

"It there a way to lock it?" Shinji asked.

"It is locked. Only the Commander, Vice Com., and Dr. Akagi have a key," Rei answered, as she placed her hands on both sides of Shinji's cheeks. Shinji turned to admire Rei's beauty, and her soft voice. "I don't want to worry about that. We're alone here, now...that's enough." Rei's hand drifted down Shinji's chest to lay loosely at her sides.

Shinji gulped. "M-may I?" Rei turned around so her back was to Shinji. She nodded. Shinji laid his hands upon her waist, feeling for the button to her school skirt. Rei felt it slip to the floor. He proceeded to her shirt, unbuttoning it from the bottom up. Rei's mouth stayed shut, but Shinji could feel her chest rising and falling at a rapid pace. It reminded him of the first "race", during a Nerv alert, between the two of them. When she had finally slowed down, at his request, her chest had heaved just like now.

Shinji was at the top button. Rei's back pressed against him, simultaneously encouraging him to continue, and showing how nervous she was about letting the shirt drop, which would expose her completely. Shinji gasped loudly, and Rei's eyes squeezed shut.

"Rei," there was question and comfort in Shinji's voice, which hid an all to noticeable fear. "Your back is. . ." Rei's shirt was still clinging to her fingertips. She quickly pulled away from Shinji, and pulled the shirt back on. A tear dropped from Rei's cheek and hit the floor.

'_The scars. . .ugly, ugly, ugly. . .' _It was almost too much for her. How could she believe for a second that they wouldn't matter to Shinji? That he could find her beautiful. . .But now, she was beginning to become angry. With Shinji! How dare he be offended by the scars– scars that proved her love for him! She had come back to this world because of him! To be with him! Couldn't he understand–

"Rei, your skin! The scars are gone, but your skin!" The panic in Shinji's voice plunged Rei into a deeper despair. She could feel it. All this time she had ignored it– willing it not to exist– but now it exploded in full force.

Rei let out a horrible shriek and ran toward the LCL tank. She put her back to the glass and turned over her shoulder. Slowly, she let her shirt fall. She gasped at the sight, and tears flowed freely.

Shinji had ran after her, but stopped a few steps short of Rei and the LCL tank. He watched as her shirt fell, then as Rei herself fell to her knees. He rushed to comfort her, but Rei yelled out, "Stay away from me!"

Shinji couldn't say anything. He stared, transfixed by the sight of Rei's transformation. Something was covering her back. It was similar to the whitish-grey Scub that had grown like a parasite to her skin; but this wasn't a growth. It was so tightly stretched across her skin, that the two were indistinguishable. And unlike the Scub, her back was a vibrant, sky blue.

Shinji couldn't ignore his disgust, but the mixed feelings of charity and curiosity toward Rei and her current state pushed it far from his heart and mind. Slowly, he approached Rei. "Don't!" Rei screamed. Her face was soaked with tears. She looked up at Shinji, and for a moment he wanted nothing more than to run away.

'_I musn't run away. I musn't run away. I musn't run away. I musn't run away.' _Shinji stretched out his hand, and Rei hit it away. He did it again, but again she swatted his love away. "Rei!" Shinji yelled with infinite sadness in his voice. She looked him full in the face.

One last time, Shinji reached out his hand. and placed it on her back. "Does that hurt?" Rei, too stunned to speak, shook her head. Shinji applied pressure, moving his hand up and down and across Rei's upper back. It felt harder than skin, like a shell or one large scale, but it wasn't tough at all. It was wonderfully smooth, and Shinji lost himself for a moment, moving his hand fluidly across Rei's new skin.

"You can't see," Shinji said calmly, "but in some places, like here, at your collar bone, and the spine, there are red markings: lines with circles at the end. They're the color of your eyes. . .and the rest of your back is the same as your hair."

Rei continued to look at Shinji, who thought that something was boiling beneath the surface of her countenance, but whether that was joy or sadness he couldn't tell.

"It's beautiful, Rei." Shinji couldn't bear to have Rei's look on him any longer, but, unwilling to relent, hugged her passionately, placing both of his hands full on her back. "You're so beautiful, Rei." Shinji cried out, "You're the most beautiful– to me– in the world."

Rei wiped her the tears from her face, then hugged Shinji back. "One more time." Her voice sounded strained from over use, or misuse. "Just one more time, Shinji."

"I love you."

"I love you, Shinji." Rei felt herself being lifted off the ground. She was aware fully, for the first time, that she was completely nude. After getting out of the hospital bed, in her haste to see Shinji, she hadn't bothered putting on any underwear.

Shinji was carrying her to the bed; Rei swallowed her embarrassment and let him. He laid her down as gently as he could, and positioned himself over her. "Shinji," Rei blushed, "you undress too."

"R-right," Shinji fumbled with his top button. Rei unhooked his belt. "You don't have to–" Shinji protested, but Rei had already started unzipping his pants. Shinji threw off his shirt, and bent down to kiss Rei. Awkwardly, he maneuvered out of his pants, and Rei laughed on the inside when he forgot to continue moving his lips.

"One sec," Shinji pulled away. He got off the bed, acutely aware of Rei's eyes following him. He took off his boxers, and got back onto the bed. But Rei had sat up, ready to meet Shinji with a kiss. For a moment, the two looked like they were wrestling– lips, hips and all– to see who would be on top. But then Scott pinned Rei's arms down, and kissed down her neck till he was sucking on her breast.

"Ah~" Rei collapsed backwards on the bed. "Ah~Ooo," she panted at Shinji's rough treatment. His kisses went from a sucking to a biting and back, and with his left hand he massaged Rei's other breast. It hurt as much as anything, but Rei wasn't about to tell him to stop. She settled for, "Switch. . ." And he did.

Rei spent the next minute or two trying to stay clear headed, but the sensations emanating from her chest were overwhelming. Then, on pure reflex, she mustered all her strength and kicked Shinji off of her. " _*hphh* _Oh, Rei. . ." Shinji clenched his stomach, kneeling at the end of the bed.

Rei was breathing heavily, and her hands were hovering over her sides. Shinji noticed and asked, still clenching his stomach but moving closer to Rei, "Did it hurt?" While massaging and suckling her breasts, Shinji had used his free hand to feel along Rei's back. The impossible feel of that blue skin was assaulting his mind, and slowly took over his thoughts, till he had to feel it again.

She realized afterwards that the reason she couldn't move during Shinji's ravages was because of her back's sensitivity. But Rei hadn't kicked Shinji away till his hand moved over her side, where her human and coralian skin met.

"No," she answered after a good pause. "It's just. . .raw." Rei could clearly see Shinji's penis, and she knew that Shinji was looking down, between her legs. "Can I touch you?" Rei grabbed Shinji's hand and placed it on her side. "I don't mind."

"Me neither," Shinji answered. He brought Rei's hand to his mouth and began to kiss it gently, while taking his other hand, and feeling her side. Slowly, and without breaking eye contact with Rei, looking for any sign of resistance or warning, he placed Rei's fingers in his mouth and licked her palm. Then, he brought it to his aching member, and Rei began to take the initiative.

Shinji, knowing a good deal about sex, didn't think that he was very _impressive_, but Rei, knowing enough about sex to realize where Shinji's penis would go, sincerely wondered how it was going to fit inside her. The wonder didn't degenerate into fear, but blossomed into a full blown lust. She wanted Shinji inside her now.

But she waited. She wanted to play with it, with him, Shinji, for a while first. She ran her fingers up and down his shaft, and gripped his balls gently. Shinji extended his upper body to kiss Rei's cheek and neck, while rubbing his palms upon her sides.

"I want to make love to you," Shinji whispered, and Rei immediately stopped her play. He moved his right hand down to Rei's entrance. As his fingers ran along her lips, both of them realized how wet Rei was.

"Is it alright?" Rei's voice showed her inexperience and worry. Shinji pushed his fingers in slightly, and Rei let out a squeal. She had half-way hoped Shinji would stop at that, but when he continued to push inside her with one finger, drag along her lips with another, and rubbing her clit with his thumb, she put both of her hands to her mouth to stifle her screams of painful ecstasy.

Shinji pulled his finger out, thinking that Rei wouldn't get any looser. "Do you trust me, Rei?" Her face red with heat, and a hand still over her mouth, she nodded. "Then it will be alright." Shinji turned Rei around so she was kneeling with her back to him. He placed his hand on her inner thigh and said, "Spread your legs, Rei, and bend over."

Hesitantly, but remembering that she truly did trust Shinji with her life, Rei moved her knees apart, and bent over so that her chest and face lay on the bed, while her ass stayed up, still bent on her knees. He wet his fingers, and felt Rei's pussy again, this time sticking two of his fingers inside her, one after the other.

Shinji couldn't believe he was doing this. In his mind, he kept repeating to himself, encouraging and cheering himself on, _'You mustn't run away.'_ He was doing all this for Rei. So that their first time wouldn't be too painful. He heard Rei let out another cry, this time she used the bed stifle the noise.

"Rei, the more you relax the less it will hurt." Shinji ran his hand along her back, and felt her loosen.

"It's ok," Rei said seriously. "I'm ready. Please come inside me, Shinji." Shinji took his fingers out, and pressed his hard head against Rei's entrance. "AH~!" But Shinji wouldn't let himself stop. "Ooowww!" Rei cried into the mattress. Shinji felt a barrier inside Rei, but he pushed passed it. And as soon as he did he felt Rei's whole body tighten more than ever, for a moment, then loosen magnificently. Rei was panting.

"I'm almost all the way in," Shinji informed Rei. He couldn't hide the ecstasy in his voice, but hoped that Rei couldn't tell how turned on he was by doing Rei from behind like this– getting a full view of her beautiful, blue back: it almost looked like it was glowing. "Just tell me when you're ready for me to move."

"_*Hah*, *hah*, *hah*_. . .Ok," Rei said, finally. "I'm not clenching am I? I can't tell now."

"I don't think so," Shinji pushed himself all the way in. "You're just really tight, Rei."

"What are...saying?" Rei mumbled. Even at a time like this, she was embarrassed at such a statement. _'So cute!'_ Shinji thought. And this thought revitalized him. He began pumping slowly in and out of Rei, making sure not to pull too far out or push too far in on any one pump.

But already, Shinji felt himself losing it. "Oh. . .Rei. I don't think...I'll be able to go on much longer."

Rei was trying her best not to cry out, but something in Shinji's voice told her it would be okay to confess what she thought was shameful. Shinji was making love to her. . .and yet, the pain. "It hurts!"

Her words were mixed with a yell, and Shinji couldn't tell if Rei was in pain, or whether she thought he was in pain– and that's why he couldn't go on. But it was too late now; too late to even pull out, this felt too good. "Rei! I'm coming!"

Rei relaxed as much as possible, and let Shinji quicken his pace, when she suddenly felt something erupt inside her. She felt the thing inside her flex once– twice– thrice– and she realized what had just happened.

"I'm sorry, Rei," Shinji apologized. He remained in Rei, hoping to savor the feeling of her soaking insides.

"Your seed...is inside me," Rei stated. Shinji heard her, but didn't know how to respond. Rei felt the generous liquid paste the walls of her vagina, and was happy that Shinji hadn't pulled out.

"Did it hurt?"

"Yes," Rei said truthfully. "It hurts now. But I feel so good. So happy. I want more."

Shinji moved his hand down to Rei's hips and around her waste. He felt for her clit, and said, "I'll make you feel good, Rei." He began to rub Rei's most sensitive spot, and was happy to hear squeals of ecstasy issue forth over and over again.

He began to become hard again, and Rei, feeling the thing inside her come to life, moved her hips back and forth, both to encourage Shinji to resume his love-making, and to playfully evade the fingers torturing her clit.

Shinji was feeling almost as raw as Rei, but he wasn't going to let this opportunity pass. "Rei," he panted as he thrust in and out of Rei, while stimulating her outside with his fingers, "I want to make you cum. Could you cum for me, Rei?"

"I don't–!" Rei screamed, but the different sensations were driving her mute.

"It's okay," Shinji comforted her. "It's welling up– right now."

"I feel–!" Rei placed her hand on top of Shinji's, still stimulating her nub, and tried to relax, "–like I'm going to burst. Don't stop, Shinji!" Without another word, Shinji quickened his thrust as he felt Rei take over and begin to play with herself. "Ah~ah~AH~AH~AAAAHHHHHH!" Rei arched backwards, and Shinji's cock slipped out of her, as she came in their hands.

When Rei had regained herself, she was no longer bent over, but kneeling erect with Shinji's hands around her stomach. She turned herself around, and lay down on the bed. Shinji remained kneeling, but bent over her, placing his hands on her breasts, and kissing her twice on the lips before pulling back to look at her amazing nude form.

". . .The most beautiful," Shinji whispered to himself. Even in her exhaustion, Rei heard him and managed to smile. She looked down at his member, which hung steadily near her entrance.

"You can release again," Rei didn't quite ask. But Shinji nodded. Rei spread out her arms, and opened her legs wider. "I want to be able to look at you this time."

"But," Shinji kicked himself for not ravaging her again immediately, "aren't you still hurting?"

Rei said simply, "I want you: now and always." Shinji gave in and pushed into Rei once again. "Soon. . .soon. . .soon...soon..." he kept saying, but he continued to push in and out of Rei.

Though she began to feel the strain on her body, Rei wouldn't allow herself to stop. She heaved and yelled freely now, not wishing to hide her pain or pleasure from Shinji anymore: hoping that he would know that each breathe and cry was a token of her love for him. "It's okay, Shinji," she sad through clenched teeth. "More...more...more!"

And with Rei's urging, Shinji felt that swelling up to the point of tipping. "I'm coming– Rei!"

"Shinji!' Rei's nails dug into his back, as she came with him.

Both exhausted and breathing heavily, Shinji managed to pull himself out of Rei and collapse next to her, while Rei pulled the covers out from under them. She snuggled in close to Shinji, trying to ignore the painful throbbing from between her legs, and wrapped them both in the hospital sheet.

Promising herself that she wouldn't let them stay there for more than an hour or two, Rei wrapped her legs around Shinji, who lay face up, as they both drifted into a deep sleep.


	18. Chapter 23

**Spiral Life**

The Chairman, along with the rest of Seele, held a copy of the critical report that would prove to be the final nail in the coffin of Nerv. "This is it. Gentlemen, we can delay no longer."

"Gendo Ikari is the false prophet."

"His pet pilot is indeed the legacy of the former priestess: a humanoid-coralian."

"He intends," the Chairman declared, throwing down the report, "to use his son as the key to instrumentality."

"–the unholy union of man and coralian."

"Yet despite the overwhelming force against him," a member pointed out, "Ikari has managed to hide this from us, and defend himself even against the Cosmic Trigger. How then will we directly attack the Command Cluster, protected by Nerv's Dogma?"

"Only one hit is needed: then the Coralian will awaken on its own. And Third Impact will begin."

"We will cut Ikari's legs out from under him," the Commander slammed his fist upon his desk. "How long till we can be ready?"

". . .a day."

". . .15 hours from now."

". . .at Eleven hundred hours, precisely"

"–And man's salvation shall commence."

* * *

Rei woke first, and kicked herself for letting them fall asleep. She looked hurriedly around the room before realizing that there was no clock in sight. She sighed and, resigned to her fate, felt for the boy sleeping next to her. She debated for a moment, simply looking at Shinji, who lay face up with his hands above his head– one of which, only moment before, Rei had been resting upon. She wanted to lie on top of him, and intertwine her body with his; and yet she didn't want to wake him, not till she could feast her eyes upon him, undisturbed, for a while longer.

Minutes later, Shinji began to stir, and Rei couldn't hold back any longer. She gently laid herself on top of him, and slipped her hands into his. "Mmhmm," Shinji stretched, pulling Rei's along with his own. "Oh. . .morning, Rei." Shinji was blushing down at the head of hair that lay on his chest.

"Am I too heavy?" Rei asked seriously.

"No, ummm...not at all." Rei had put the blanket over them both, but only up to her lower back. Shinji had a wonderful view of her back. He was almost positive that her skin was, in fact, glowing with a short of luminescence that grew brighter the darker it became.

Rei still lay with her cheek on Shinji's lean chest, so that he couldn't see her face. But Shinji could tell by the tone of her voice, that Rei shyly asked, "Have a good dream?"

"Uh. . ." Shinji didn't understand, "I don't remember."

"Do you remember me?" Rei shifted her hips against him, and Shinji became painstakingly aware of his morning wood.

Shinji gulped audibly. "From last night. . .I remember." Boldly, Shinji placed his arms on her, rubbing Rei's back lovingly.

Rei moaned sweetly at Shinji's touch, shifting her lower body again, pushing her hand between Shinji's legs and placing his penis along her entrance. "...If you want. . .me– If you want me," the words sounded painfully wrenched from Rei's mouth, "...you can have me."

Shinji didn't say anything, but quickly and smoothly flipped position so that Rei lay beneath him. "I'm ready now," Rei said heavily. She had reached down to check herself, trying to find the same spots Shinji had stimulated last time. Her eyes were closed tight in anticipation of his penetration.

There it was. _'Painful. . .tight. . .hot. . .good– so good–'_

"Rei," Shinji said forcefully. "Relax." Rei had been caught up in the ecstasy of their love making, trying to feel out every sensation. She tried to loosen herself, but with each thrust she tensed again. "Ah...ah...ah–" Shinji was having a hard time keeping up his stamina, but Rei showed no sign of slowing down or wanting him to stop.

Shinji watched her: squeezing her fists and her eyes; her petit breasts bouncing up and down; and the large out-takes and in-takes of breathe every few seconds. Rei was holding her breathe, trying to shut down every operation of her body in hopes of heightening the feeling of Shinji's protruding sex. It was so much less painful than last night: so much more enjoyable. Without Shinji's notice– he was so focused on fighting back his exhaustion– she had cum at least twice.

The ever increasing wetness of Rei's insides was a huge help to Shinji, who felt himself nearing his breaking point. Both of them panting heavily. Shinji pulled out at the last moment, cumming on Rei's belly.

Shinji panted, spitting out all of his cum, then looked down at Rei, who looked back and forth between Shinji and her belly. His tone filled with guilt, Shinji looked away and said, "Sorry." Rei pulled herself out from under Shinji, and stood up without looking at him. "Rei, wait– I'm really sor–"

Shinji made to get up, but stopped to watch Rei's curious movements. He sat at the edge of the bed, watching Rei wipe her stomach. She turned around to face Shinji, looking him fiercely in the eyes. Shinji's eyes darted to Rei's fingers, which were dripping with his seed. She brought them slowly to her lips. She kissed, sucked, and licked her fingers the same was Shinji had, last night before she had 'touched him' for the first time.

"I think I– we both– need a shower," Rei declared.

"Or maybe just a swim in that LCL tank," Shinji responded. Rei laughed, and Shinji smiled joyfully. She began to get dressed, and he did the same.

* * *

Misato was going out of her mind. Rei and Shinji had disappeared, the Commander was hidden away in his tower, and Ritsuko had shut herself inside the magi.

"_Where are you going! I need you to tell me what you and Commander Ikari have been hiding. Ritsuko!" _Misato had cornered her the previous night, but the Doctor was evasive and stoic, even when Misato slapped her clear across the face.

"_I'm going to prepare the Magi's defense system."_

"_Why? For what? Who's going to attack us!"_

"_It's all I have left. At the end of it all: my work is all I have– just like my mother."_

"_Ritsuko! How is Seele going to initiate Third Impact? Is the Commander trying to do the same!"_

The surprise of how much Kaji had found out, along with Misato, struck the Doctor, even in her despair. She stopped at the service elevator to answer he former friend. She said simply, _"Cosmic Trigger: Orange."_

Since then, for the last 14 hours, Misato had done everything in her power to fortify Nerv and evacuate all non-essential personnel. As for the former, she found that the Vice Commander– obviously under Com. Ikari's orders– had already issued fortification plans, halting repairs, and upgrading the alert level to _full battle status_. But as for the latter, no one who had been on duty when Fuyutsuki's orders had been issued was allowed to leave the primary levels of Nerv.

Misato had been called by some of the Nerv staff, who had been instructed by her to go home, to the primary exit, only to be met by a wall of MP's, dressed in full tactical uniform. "What's the meaning of this? As your commanding officer, I order you tell all non-essential personnel to evacuate Nerv HQ."

"No, ma'am," an MP responded.

"That's a direct order," Misato growled.

"No, ma'am. Commander Ikari has issued an oder to keep everyone– everyone, ma'am, no matter how inconsequential– inside the base. The Geofront terrain is similarly off limits."

Misato turned in away in a rage. She looked for the nearest Lieutenant, and shouted at him, "Have the pilots been accounted for yet?"

"Ah– badah–ummm. . .Pilot Soryu is in the hospital wing–"

"I know that, soldier!"

"Yes, ma'am! Ahumm...they were last capture on the security cameras going down the elevator located at the end of hallway C in the hospital wing."

"How did they get clearance for that!" Misato asked herself, more than the Lieutenant.

"Dewey–Ma'am! Computers show it was his keycard." But Misato barely heard him; she had already begun to storm away toward the hospital wing of Nerv HQ.

* * *

Shinji and Rei had talked a lot on the way up the elevator. Shinji was eager to know everything about Rei's past, but when she suggested that he talk about himself, instead, Shinji agreed. He knew that making Rei talk about her past now wouldn't be pleasant. Shinji wouldn't want to hear about the huge role his father played in her life, and she, especially now, didn't want to think about a time or place without Shinji.

Ignorance, however, is bliss, as Rei was increasingly discovering throughout Shinji's recounting of his past. For her part, the time before Shinji seemed like a hazy dream. She never thought much with the Commander, nor did she have any complex emotions before Shinji. Rei had been content to learn and obey anything anyone told her; and anytime those thoughts or emotions would crop up, she would use all of her will to bury them back down. All they ever brought was doubt, sadness, and confusion.

Shinji, on the other hand, was not ignorant during his childhood. He was acutely aware of the rumors surrounding his parents, and how it isolated him from other people, especially kids his own age, who no doubt heard of his 'mad scientist' dad and 'abandoning' mother from their own parents. His aunt and uncle, with whom he lived as a child, kept him busy with chores rather than actually 'parenting' him. They made sure his homework was done, his room was clean, and he was fed regularly.

By the time he was ten, he could cook, clean and shop for himself. So, his aunt and uncle, who by then had a child of their own, sent him to live with his teacher when he entered middle school. He was all set to live on his own in high school, when he received the letter from his father.

"That's it?" Rei asked.

"Haha," Shinji smiled for the first time during his story telling. "Not that much else to tell, really. I never had a real friend. Wasn't on or in any school committees or clubs. I spent most of my time alone."

"Doing what?" Rei interrupted.

Shinji was slightly alarmed at the sudden increase of interest in Rei's voice. "Uh. . .nothing." Rei's body reposed and she frowned visibly. "What's a matter?" Shinji asked, as the elevator opened.

Rei shook her head, shaking off her sadness, and smiled up at Shinji. They walked hand in hand out of the elevator and down the hall. "It's the same with me," Rei explained. "But all that's ov–"

"WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU TWO BEEN!" Rei and Shinji both turned in fear toward the end of the hall, and saw furious Misato storming toward them.

"Bwe–ah–I meanah–Wewere–" Shinji blubbered. Rei had never seen Katsuragi like this, and she was temporarily struck dumb.

"Do you even know–!"

"CAPTAIN!" Lt. Hyuga shouted.

"What is it!" Misato turned on him fiercely, but the look of terror and urgency in his eyes told her that this was the time to listen.

"You need to see this."

"Errrrr," the vein in Misato's forehead was visible. "You two!" She pointed at Shinji and Rei. "Come with me!" The pair nodded, and all four of them raced toward the bridge.

As they entered, Lt. Hyuga commanded, "Lt. Aoba, on screen."

"Roger."

"Ma'am, this is Ciudades del Cielo: a one mile radius outside Nerv's main entrance, and the whole in the Geofront made in the last encounter."

"Oh my God," Misato gasped. "This is why the Commander issued the order to stay inside Nerv." It seemed as if a storm of locust had covered Ciudades del Cielo. The streets, hills, and skies were filled with United Federation infantry, artillery, and LFOs. All of which had Nerv as their primary target.

"Lt. Colonel!" Lt. Hyuga demanded Misato's attention. She looked at him blankly. "The Commander and Vice Commander are absent. The bridge awaits your orders."

Misato snapped to attention, and an all too familiar determination passed over her face. "All non-essential personnel are to evacuate to the hospital wing. Get Asuka into Unit-02."

"Ma'am, she's still catatonic!" Lt. Ibuki interjected.

"The inside of the Eva is the safest place for her right now. Which brings me to you two," Misato turned to face Shinji and Rei. They clenched each others hands, as they listened. "Get to the prep area and get into Unit-01. Your to defend the Geofront and Nerv HQ against any attack. DO NOT engage the enemy if they don't engage you first."

"But Misato–!"

"No arguing, Shinji. This is an order!"

"I can't!" Shinji demanded, throwing off Rei's hand. "I can't kill them!"

"Dammit, Shinji! They will kill you, and Rei, and everyone here if they get a chance! Understand this, Shinji: if they breach Nerv, Third Impact will begin. They're the enemy: just like before."

Shinji was silent, and it seemed like Misato had won. But with renewed vigor, he protested, determination and absolute certainty apparent in his tone. "Before...I was killing coralians, which is just as bad as killing humans." Shinji had grabbed Rei's hand, without Rei or Misato noticing. "I can't, Misato. I won't."

Misato was speechless. ". . .Get in the Eva. Both of you," she turned her back on the two pilots, saying, "It's still the safest place for both of you. Go, now!" Shinji and Rei obeyed, and started running toward the prep area. The Nerv Alarm sounded. "Status Report!"

"Ma'am," Lt. Ibuki supplied, "The Magi have been infiltrated."

"We'll leave that to Ritsuko. Give me cameras above ground."

"Roger–Oh. . .no." Maya puked at the sight. The guards had been killed, at close range, with some sort of blade: their guts, as well as blood, were spilling out.

"How far have they penetrated?" Misato regained. "How far!" She ordered, shaking the three Lieutenants out of their stupor.

"Two levels," answered Hyuga.

"Flood the first two levels: make them secure."

"But there might be survivors!" Maya protested.

"Roger," obeyed Aoba.

"Lieutenants," Misato said gravely. They all paid her attention. "Monitor the intruders. Once they breach level 4, seal off any entrance to the hospital wing. Arm yourselves, and give any support you can to Unit-02 and Unit-01 when the pilots get there."

"Where are you going!" Lt. Hyuga asked fiercely. Misato loaded her gun and cocked it in response. "Misato. . ."

"I'm going after Shinji and Rei. I'll make sure they get to the Eva." Misato turned and smiled at them all, then looked Hyuga in the eye. "Stay alive, and I'll do the same. Promise."

* * *

Meanwhile, Rei and Shinji had ran down the familiar routes directly to the prep area, not bothering with the sanitizing procedures or the plug suites. Shinji, for the most part, was following Rei. She knew the way much better than he did; and he had a feeling– and he was right– that Rei was taking a longer way in order to avoid running into any of the UF soldiers.

They stopped for the first time at a short of T-junction. Shinji bent over, trying to catch his breathe. " _*pant* *pant* . . . _Rei?"

"I'm just trying to remember. Both will get us to the Eva; but we should probably take the shorter way– we've wasted enough time already."

"But what will we do when we get there? I was serious back there: I can't–"

Rei grabbed his hand, and pulled him to stand straight. She looked at him with infinite compassion. "I know. But we can still do something. They'll use the Cosmic Trigger to attack the Command Cluster and begin Third Impact. We can stop it– together. We'll protect everyone, together."

Shinji nodded. "Which way is shorter?"

'Left," Rei answered. And Shinji set off down the left path. Almost immediately, Rei heard a _*thump*_, and then another sound, like a body hitting the floor. She ran to Shinji, turning the corner, but stopped at the sight of Shinji's collapsed body. Gendo Ikari was over him, holding a gun, pointing at her heart.

"Come with me, Rei," he commanded.

"I won't," Rei said, trying to show no emotion. "Orders are to scramble, for all the pilots." She added, and, against her will, she glanced down at Shinji out of concern.

Gendo re-adjusted his glasses. "Your orders have always been clear. It's time to deliver your book, Rei."

". . .I won't do what you want," Rei's confidence was growing with each word. "I will stop them by myself, so that we can all live–"

"–So that you can live, you mean." Gendo fixed his unconquerable gaze upon Rei, who lost her footing for a moment.

But she came back, raising her arms slightly, and concentrating. "You can't hurt me with that. I can stop you."

"An AT field?" Gendo was more curious, than intimidated. He pointed the gun down at Shinji.

"DON'T!" Rei was about to issue forth a gust of power, when Gendo cocked his gun. "ah. . ." Rei stopped and fell to her knees.

"Come, Rei. And don't worry. The Lt. Col. will be along shortly. She will ensure that Shinji gets to Unit-01...and Shinji will come for you."

"No. . ." Rei wept. "They'll die." Rei hadn't realized how much the Nerv personnel meant to her till now. After all, they had all helped to raise her– they were the only family she knew.

"You and he will be together. Or. . .I can kill him now." Rei, at a loss, got to her feet. The Commander uncocked his gun, put it away, and led the way.


	19. Chapter 24

**The Anthem**

Because of the complex route Rei had led Shinji down– and adding to that Misato's horrible innate sense of direction– it took the Operations Director nearly half an hour to find the passed out Shinji.

Meanwhile, around the time Misato first exited the bridge, Dewey had already outfitted himself and Asuka in the plug suits, and had made it to the prep area to await the bridges instructions. He sat, with Asuka on his lap, inside the entry plug, ready to fight.

"Com. link established, Wait–" Lt. Aoba read the monitor. "Two pulses detected inside the entry plug."

"This is the bridge," Lt. Hyuga thundered. "Declare yourself."

"Captain Dewey Novak with Captain Asuka Soryu, waiting the command sequence." The bridge was shocked that Dewey would even think of piloting the Eva.

"It's impossible!" Lt. Ibuki said. "Dewey, the Eva won't function properly with someone your age."

"The last adult to synch with the Eva, and encountered the Zone, disappeared."

"But the Eva did synch. It moved: am I correct?"

"That's not all!" Maya argued further. "The added noise from both of you in one entry plug will–"

"But we can try." Dewey's voice was calm, and it demonstrated, once again, that ability to silence those who heard it. "The truth is none of us no too much about the Eva. But I believe Asuka's consciousness is trapped inside Unit-02. I'll synch with her, not just the Eva. Just let me try!"

The bridge heard Dewey's shake in desperate valor. He needed to save them. He needed to finish Asuka's work. He wouldn't let this all be in vain.

During their argument, Lt. Aoba had established a connection with Misato. He explained, "Unit-02 requests to go out with Dewey Novak and Asuka Soryu as its pilots. Orders?"

"I love it!" Misato screamed from the other end of the speaker. "Dewey: defend the base. That's your one and last order from me."

"Roger."

"Lt. Colonel," Hyuga asked, "Have you found Shinji?"

"Yeah." The radio was cutting out. The heard stout footsteps and the shouts of other men from Misato's side.

"Misato?" Hyuga's voice was shaking, but there was no answer. He hit the speaker, and said again, "Misato!" After a minute of muffled noises and yells, the line went dead.

"Shinji," Misato was shaking the collapsed body. "Shinji, get up." The boy roused by the smell of blood. He looked around him. Crouching next to him was Misato, her face as hard as stone, and all around him were dead bodies laying in pools of blood. They were U.F. soldiers.

"What happened?" Shinji remembered. "Father! Rei! Misato, where are they?"

Misato shook her head. "I don't know–Listen, Shinji–!"

Shinji had stumbled to his feet and nearly took off running, when Misato grabbed him from behind. "I gotta find her. Rei– that bastard! I kill him!"

"DAMMIT. SHINJI! Just STOP, and LISTEN! THAT'S AND ORDER!" Shinji stopped struggling, but Misato didn't let him go. "You're father is planning to start Third Impact using Rei as a door into the Command Cluster. But– wait– Listen, Shinji! You're the key. He can't do it without you and Unit-01. He's PLANNING on you going after, Rei. But if you do, everyone, include yourself and Rei, will die."

Shinji was glued to the spot, trying to process all this information. While she had him listening, Misato continued, "Seele– Kaji told you about them, right. They're going to fire Cosmic Trigger: Orange. You need to stop it with Unit-01. You need to–"

"This is the bridge to Lt. Con. Katsuragi," a voice sounded from Misato's radio.

"Here!" She answered, placing her free hand on Shinji, to make sure he didn't run off. Lt. Aoba explained the situation, concluding, "Unit-02 requests to go out with Dewey Novak and Asuka Soryu as its pilots. Orders?"

It was a long shot, but Misato new the that at least thinking that Dewey and Asuka **could** back him up would give Shinji the much needed boost to go and fight. She gave the order, and thought, _'I'm sorry, Shinji. This is the last time I'll use you.'_

"Lt. Colonel, have you found Shinji?" Misato was about to answer when she heard the U.F. soldiers coming down the hall. "Shit! Shinji, go!" Misato held on to the receiver, running toward the elevator to the hanger in sight. With her free hand she pulled out a pin grenade.

"What are you doing? Misato!" Misato had pushed Shinji into the elevator, hit the button, and closed the grate.

She smiled at him, as Shinji heard a shot. Misato had been hit. He saw her hand pull the pin, and heard her last words: "It's up to you, Shinji. Go make the choice yourself: pilot the Eva for yourself." The elevator shot upwards, and below him Shinji heard a loud explosion.

He wept openly. The doors opened on the hanger, and he stood face to face with Unit-01. The entry plug at its back was already loaded, waiting for him to enter.

Miles beneath the Geofront, Rei was standing in front of a massive piece of what looked like amber. Though the bulk of what she could see was already several hundreds of yards long, wide, and deep, she somehow got the feeling that it was like an iceberg, hiding nearly 90% of its mass, out of sight, beneath the earth.

"I'm afraid we're in for a wait– there is no form of communication down here, the trapar is too thick. We won't know exactly how long it will take for Unit-01 to make its way down the auxiliary pit, here, to the Command Cluster."

Rei stopped eyeing the large amber– the Command Cluster– and looked at the Commander. "It might be a while. It would be best if you became more agreeable," he said, holding up a golden collar.

Rei didn't allow it to distract her, and continued to stare at the Commander of Nerv with hatred in her heart. How could she have ever seen this man for anything more than a killer?

Gendo Ikari could think of nothing worse than Rei's stare. To have that unfamiliar gaze directed at him through the visage of a girl that resembled, so uncannily, his only love was almost too much to bear. But he was close now. He closed in on Rei, who attempted to swat his arms away– tried to knock the collar from his hands– who bit, tore and beat his flesh. But the Commander was too strong, he knocked about the head, dazing her, and proceeded to fasten the collar around her neck.

"There. . ." Gendo panted. "I don't understand your hatred for me. I fed you, clothed you, taught you– and now I am about to give you an eternity spent with the one you love. And all I have ever asked was your help in giving the same to me. I need to be with Yui. I know– Coralian or not– that you, Rei, can understand that?"

Rei thought hard about these words. She questioned herself over and over again; and yet, she could shake the lie off of them. She didn't know how or why, but she knew that whatever he just said was not the truth. _'It might not be his fault, though. . .he could be lying to himself. . .he may have been lying to himself for years and years.' _

But Rei did not respond to the Commander. She sat quietly, refusing to do or think about anything but Shinji. She needed to trust him: trust him to make the right choice– even though she herself didn't know what was right anymore. Her or the Nerv? Which would Shinji choose to save? Whatever he did decide, Rei would support him, whether in death or in life.

"We still have operational controls active in Unit-01, but we have no way to communicate with the pilot. Com. links with Unit-02 have also been severed." Lt. Aoba was working furiously at the computers, as Lt. Hyuga took operation control of the bridge.

For nearly 15 minutes, the physical assault of U.F. artillery forces had raged on. They retreated their infantry from Nerv HQ, being unable to override the Magi's defense systems. Instead, all their effort with destroying any defense that would pose a threat to a direct attack from the Cosmic Trigger.

Unbeknownst to both the U.F. forces, or Nerv, Seele were already charging Orange. They didn't care whether or not the U.F. forces or Nerv was destroyed in the process. They would fire as soon as possible, in order to utilize the element of surprise. Seele, figuring Third Impact to directly proceed a hit to the Command Cluster, were ready to discharge 150% of Orange's maximum energy outport. The Cosmic Trigger would be destroyed in the process of birthing the next step in human evolution.

For now, Dewey was able to synch in Unit-02 and was impressively holding off any and all U.F. artillery force, including the LFOs. Though the bridge had lost contact with him, Dewey had been right. As soon as the final ego border had been crossed, solidifying a 80% synch. ration, Dewey heard a voice.

"_Who's there?'" _The voice sounded frightened.

"_Asuka? It's me–"_

"_Dewey?'" _It brightened considerable, but did not continue

"_Yes, I'm in Unit-02. I'm about to pilot it into battle."_

'_. . . '_

"_Asuka. . .Asuka. . .Asuka, please, answer me!"_

"_...Idiot." _Now, the voice sounded timid and embarrassed.

'_Huh?'_

Asuka's voice sounded in a mock-upset tone. _". . .Who the hell told you that you could pilot my Eva?" _

Dewey smirked to himself. _"If it makes you feel better,"_ Dewey humored her, _"you're in here with me."_

"_You pervert! What have you been doing with my body!"_

For the first time in a long time, Dewey dropped his soldier's seriousness. He stumbled, embarrassed, _"N-not-thing! I promise...I've just been taking care of you." _

Neither of them 'spoke', for lack of a better word, for a long time– or, at least, a long time in their head, which was no time at all to the rest of the world. That silent time alone together, linked by the Eva, seemed to go on and on, till Asuka finally broke the silence.

"_Hey, Dewey."_

"_Yes?"_

"_Don't call me Captain anymore. When this is over, only call me Asuka." _In Dewey's arms, the body of Asuka had dropped the Compac Drive and fallen asleep. Tears were streaming from her eyes into the small sea of LCL. _"And. . .I'd like it if you always took care of me." _

This, Dewey thought, was as close to an actual confession as he could ever hope for from a girl like Asuka. _"No. . .I'll protect you now, and fight for you now. But after this, I'd much rather you protect me. I love you, Asuka."_

"_. . .yeah, me too."_ And so Dewey fought. Asuka's thoughts and expertise on piloting flowed into his mind, and their combined skill decimated the enemy.

Unit-02 had sustained minimal damage when Hyuga ordered Shinji to be loaded into Unit-01. Amazingly, the com. link between the Eva's had been left in tact, and Unit-01 appeared on Unit-02's screen as soon as Shinji had synched.

Shinji, armed with the knowledge that the Cosmic Trigger would be firing in any moment, and spurred on by his debt of obligation to Misato, was ready to be launched into the fray on the plans of the Geofront. If his father– and Rei– was really waiting for him, he could wait a little longer.

All was set when Dewey's voice blared from the other end of the com. link. "Shinji! Don't get on the launch pad!"

"What! Why! I'm coming to help. I promised–"

"Shinji!" Dewey sounded like he was repressing a lot of pain. "You don't owe me or Asuka a damn thing. I told you that this is MY burden."

"They're firing the Cosmic Trigger! Me and Unit-01 can stop it. I kn–"

"I'll stop it!" Dewey screamed. He had just overpowered a progressive-knife-armed LFO in hand to hand combat, and proceeded to steal its rifle to shoot at the rest of the squadron.

Shinji was about to protest further, but Dewey started again. "Shinji! I'm fighting here for Asuka. For the girl I love. Decide now if you should be doing the same!" Shinji clenched his teeth and bit his tongue. "Trust me," Dewey finished.

"Alight," Shinji decided. "How do I get to the command cluster in Unit-01?"

"Break through the hanger door labeled EEE. It will lead to a vertical shaft, called "Pit". That will lead you all the way down. See you soon."

"I will see you soon!" And Shinji was off. Dewey continued to fight, but only for another minute or two. He noticed quite suddenly that every artillery unit and LFO squad was retreating– but in vain. Unit-02 stood silent for ten minutes, watching the U.F. forces, who fled to save their lives.

Dewey looked up and, in the twilight of Ciudades Del Cielo that shone through the hole in the Geofront, saw the approaching light.

"_This is it, Asuka. Are you with me?" _

Dewey felt arms envelope him. _"Always."_

"AT FIELD: EXPAND!" Orange thundered down but stopped just short of the Geofront plain, held back by Unit-02, whose arms were outstretched. The hands held back the power of the sun.

Dewey knew he must die, soon. But suddenly, the force that sought to destroy him was eclipsed. He felt, for a moment, nothing but the reverie of expectation, as if an impossibly large wave was about to overtake him.

Third Impact was beginning.


	20. Chapter 25

**Final**_**e**_

Shinji descended the Pit much too fast. The walls were smooth and cylindrical. There was nothing to hold on to and Shinji had jumped in without thinking. Unit-01 fell, and gained speed, and continued to fall. How on earth was he gonna stop? Why the hell had Dewey told him to come this way? Obviously, when he hit ground, he would go splat!

But what was this? He was slowing down, and yet still falling. It was as if the laws of physics were distorted in this area. Shinji spread Unit-01's arms, and landed softly enough atop a gigantic piece of amber. He saw, only a few steps away in the Eva, his father, who stood pointing a gun at Rei.

"FATHER!" Shinji yelled: his voice resounding through the Eva's external speakers. He walked determinately over to them.

Rei looked up to Shinji, but couldn't speak. "Go to him," she heard a voice say. She looked at the Commander. "Go," he ordered again. Rei was cautious, but her desire to be with Shinji overcame her misgivings.

She broke into a run. "Shinji!"

"Rei!" Shinji lowered the Eva's arm to the ground, and Rei climbed into its hand. Shinji ejected his entry plug, while Unit-01 brought Rei to its entrance. She climbed in without hesitation, and was reloaded with Shinji back to the Eva. "Rei, are you alright?"

But instead of speaking, Rei threw her arms around Shinji. She kissed his neck, his cheek, and lips. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

"It's ok now," Shinji brought her back into a loving embrace. "Let's go now."

Rei cried, breaking from Shinji, "We can't." She indicated the the golden collar.

"You both have a job to do," came a voice from the outside. Shinji's blood ran cold. He looked toward Gendo Ikari, standing at the edge of the large amber.

His fear boiled into rage, and he yelled. "Tell me why, father? Why do this?" Shinji was crying now, but, for the first time in his life, it was out of pure rage and hatred. "Why shouldn't I kill you right now?" Unit-01's hand reached out and gripped Gendo's frail, human body.

But the man wasn't resisting, and Rei was clenching at his chest, and Shinji couldn't bring himself to squeeze, yet. Gendo Ikari continued. "There is not easy way up from this place, especially for the Eva. The Cosmic Trigger will destroy Nerv, and everyone will die."

"Dewey will stop it! I have faith in him."

Gendo looked intrigued, rather than defeated. "Unit-02 is irrelevant. Seele plans to fire enough power through Orange, such that a whole fleet of Eva's could not withstand it."

Shinji was silent, but the Eva gripped Gendo tighter. The Commander gave a grunt of pain, but continued. "Nerv will be destroyed and there's nothing you could do. Nothing I could do to stop it. The same is true for Third Impact. But you haven't yet heard my plan, Shinji. I've told Rei that you two could be together, and I wasn't lying. Help me make contact with the Command Cluster. Help me enter the 9th plane. You want it to, isn't that true? To see Yui, again?"

The Eva's grip lessened, more and more, till Gendo Ikari stood back on the amber floor.

"Shinji. . ." Rei put her hand on his cheek. Shinji was looking down at his lap, avoiding Rei's gaze. "Shinji, I don't trust the Commander. But I trust you. Whatever you decide, I'll support you. I'll go with you." She forced Shinji to look at her, with her hands on both of his cheeks. She brought him into another embrace, kissing him more tenderly then ever before.

They broke apart, and Shinji looked at Rei lovingly– his flittered to and fro her eyes and the golden collar. He promised, "I'll always be with you." He too felt the lie in Gendo's words. He spoke to his father. "Alright, what do I have to do?"

Gendo smirked, and took from his pocket a Compact Drive, which was glowing brighter than any light Shinji had ever seen. Shinji and Rei both recognized that this device was the cause and source of the artificially engineered Kute-class coralians. "Artificial Human: Evangelion Unit-01!"

The Eva's lights shone bright, and Shinji panicked. Rei squeezed his hand, and muttered reassuring words. She knew that the Zone was about to be opened.

Gendo bent down and seemed to shove the Compac into the amber, which received it, as if the thing had always been apart of itself. The green light shone brighter, and began to overcome the orangish-yellow of the amber.

The large mound was turning green, and shone as brightly as the Compac Drive. The Inside of the entry plug began to glow with the same color. Shinji could no longer see, but kept a tight grip on Rei's hand, as it he felt his soul and body being caught up in a massive current.

"I'm coming, Yui."

Dewey opened his eyes. He was still inside the entry plug, and Asuka lay on top of him. All the cameras were out, and all he saw was the metallic walls of the plug. But this wasn't right. He had been holding back Orange. He had been caught up in a wave of trappar. He had been sure that Third Impact had begun.

Thankfully, Dewey kept his head, and climbed for the exit hatch. He opened it manually, and kicked the door back. He wasn't in the Eva. Wherever he was, it was bright.

"Dewey?" He looked back, and saw Asuka rousing to her feet. "What the hell is–" But Asuka was silenced. Dewey had jumped toward her, taking her up in his arms.

"Thank God. You're ok." Dewey let her go and looked at her over carefully, "You are ok?"

"Of course," Asuka rubbed her head, and stretched out. "How long was I?" Asuka didn't want to say 'asleep', but she couldn't think of another word.

"Do you remember?" Dewey asked. He didn't need to explain. Asuka looked at him surprised and blushed red.

She looked away. "Y-yeah."

"Everything?" Dewey needed to make sure.

"Yes! Everything, idiot!" Asuka yelled at him. Dewey exhaled a sigh of relief, and smiled at her. "Well," Asuka crossed her arms. Dewey looked pleasantly puzzled. "Are you gonna kiss me, or something!" Dewey rallied. He slipped his arms under Asuka's and pulled her close.

Grudgingly, Asuka allowed her self to be cradled, keeping her arms crossed. She glanced toward Dewey, and saw that his eyes were closed. She looked back away, but glanced again. He was leaning in.

Dewey knew that Asuka would never let herself be kissed first: it would be way to humiliating– it would damage her pride! _'He knows me too well. . .'_ Asuka uncrossed her arms, and looked at the pleading Dewey. _'I guess that's a good thing.'_ She closed her eyes and leaned in. Their lips met sweetly.

After the first contact, Dewey took the initiative. he kissed Asuka fiercely, over and over. "Hey– hey. . .slow, down. . .Dewey." Her protests her half-hearted, and soon she gave in.

Finally, they broke apart. Asuka climbed half way out of the entry plug and looked around. "Hey, Dewey! Look: The Stairs of the Sky!"

Dewey climbed out after Asuka, and saw that, somehow, someway, their entry plug had been laid at the feet of Ciudades del Cielo's most famous land mark. He looked in the opposite direction, and saw collapsed on the ground, only inches from the entry plug, Unit-02. "Do you think the Eva carried us here?"

Asuka looked over to see what Dewey meant, and she smiled. "Thank you, Unit-02. I won't forget you, promise."

Dewey held Asuka once more, and looked up at the colossal landmark. "You know, Asuka. They're also called 'The Stairs of Heaven.' And people who come here always make a choice. I've always wondered what that choice might be. . .but now, I think I understand."

Asuka nodded. "You can choose to make any place heaven."

Shinji opened his eyes. He was outside– at least, he could feel a breeze. There seem to be no sky, but no ceiling either. And he was sitting up, on bench against a wall. Opposite him was a large shelf case of books. And all around him were similar shelfs. He might of been an immeasurably big, outdoor library. And he was alone.

He panicked. "Rei! Where are you, Rei!" But suddenly, Rei was driven from his mind. He had only run a short way, where he now stood at the shore of large pond, in the middle of which sat a woman, and looking over her was a man.

The man was his father, but younger than he had ever know him, and beardless. Seated in the chair, was his mother. His first thought was, _'So, she looks like that.'_ But now, they were speaking.

"_This is a shady spot to stand in. Yui?" _

"_Gendo. . .did you take care of Shinji, like you promised?"_

"_I gave him everything I could."_

"–_except love."_

'_I wonder why," _Shinji thought. _'...my legs won't move.'_ A tear fell from his cheek.

"_I could never love him. Before these monsters took you away, he had taken you from me."_

"_But you loved Rei, like a daughter."_

"_No. I felt guilty– as a father. Maybe that's why. . .it was all to see you. You're the only one I could love. You're the only one who could love me. Forgive me."_

"_But now you would take away the one he loves? Intend to leave him in the same hell you experienced."_

"_No. If he has the will to live, he can make a heaven wherever he is. As long as he lives, he'll find a chance to be happy." _Yui smiled at Gendo, hearing her own words repeated back to her.

'_I want to run over to her, but I'm frozen in place.' _If there was one thing Shinji could always do, it was run away. He had learned, at Nerv, to stand and fight. But now, when he wanted it most, he couldn't run towards the thing he wanted.

Yui continued to smile as she looked over at her son. _"Shinji. You can come to me if you want, you know. . .Is it that you can't move? Or is it that where you really want to go isn't where I am?"_

"_Shinji! Where are you, Shinji!" _Shinji heard it, _'but whose voice was that?'_

"_I'll always watch over you, Shinji. You can go wherever you want, and I'll still be watching over you."_

His father spoke. _"Listen. Behind you...she's calling you." _

"Ah– Rei!" Shinji turned and ran, and he didn't look back. His surroundings disappeared and reformed, and now he was sitting on a train. He looked next to him, and saw Rei facing forward. He looked down, and saw that they were holding hands.

Before either of them could speak, a girl's voice asked, "Are you ready to deliver your book?" They both turned to see the small, blue haired girl kicking her feet that dangled from the edge of train seat. "You don't have a choice. You can't go anywhere with that."

Shinji looked to Rei, and saw her touching the golden collar around her neck. Shinji looked back to the girl. "Can you take it off?"

"You awoke us."

"You mean Third Impact is happening now!" Shinji exclaimed.

But then another boy spoke, and Shinji recognized it. "Rei is now the new Command Cluster. She's keeping Third Impact from truly commencing." Shinji's gaze shot over to the opposite end of the train. There sat the brown haired boy, and with him, sitting hand in hand, was a green haired girl Shinji didn't recognize. They both were emanating a jewel like glow from there foreheads– perfectly in synch with one another.

"You mean, she can't leave this place?" Shinji clenched Rei's hand, and looked at her face. It was expressionless. "Can she hear me?"

"She can hear everything," the green haired girl answered. "But she can't talk."

Shinji gulped. He looked back to the little girl. "What's this book she wants?"

The boy answered, "It will decide what happens next. It will decide whether or not humans and coralians can live together."

"But what is it?"

"It's her heart," the green haired girl said simply. Shinji looked down at Rei's lap, and saw that he free hand was holding a small book.

Shinji reached out for it, but stopped himself. "Rei? I'm going to take your book. I'm going to let the Coralians see it. Is that alright?" Rei didn't stir. "Rei, you can definitely hear me," Shinji believed the boy and girl, though he couldn't say why. "So, if you don't want me to, just slap me. Really hard, ok?"

Shinji saw Rei's grip loosen on the book. It was ever so slight, but she had definitely moved. He took the book, and handed it to the little girl, who laid it on her lap. She began to look through it, and Shinji could see the pages.

The first ten were blank. Then there was a bad drawing of Unit-01. For a few more pages, there was only the Eva, but the drawing's improved.

Then there was nothing– or, at least, Shinji thought so. But then as the blank pages went on, he saw that the same picture was simply being drawn over and over again. It was a man, drawn so lightly, less than a shadow on the page. But then the lines became darker and darker, and the man became bigger and bigger upon the page. Half way through the book the man was clearly visible as the Commander of Nerv, Shinji's father, Gendo Ikari.

The man continued to dominate the following pages, but other people were being added to the pictures as well. Misato, Ritsuko, Kaji, the Nerv staff, and classmates. Yet the man in the center of the page was clearly the biggest and well defined.

Then, suddenly, three fourths way through the book, all of the Nerv staff disappeared, and standing next to the man, was Shinji. He was a head shorter than his dad, just as in real life, but he was equally as well defined.

The Coralians stopped hear to stare at the picture for a while, and then flipped to the next page. This time, the Commander wasn't in the middle of the page, to the left, and Shinji was to the right. The first words of the books were written all around Gendo Ikari, clearly on the left side of the page. Words like: orders, eyes, lips, hair, hands, chest, command, gloves, and glasses. There were no words around Shinji.

On the next page, the left side of the page stayed the same, but Shinji's side had gained two words: 'Eva' and 'son'. On the next page, another word: pilot. On the next page: uncomfortable. And so on and so on, Shinji began to have words around him: the same, protect, sorry, warm, confusing, help, thank you, tea, please, happy.

Once all these words had appeared, the next few pages showed little change. But then Shinji noticed again, that something was happening to the picture of his father. It was lighter and lighter on the page– and Shinji picture was moving toward the center.

Shinji was eager for the book to continue– he saw that they were almost at the end. But the Coralian had paused on one page. Shinji wondered why, before he saw it. Just above the picture of himself, was a small, drawn heart. The next page was flipped, and more hearts appeared. And more and more, till suddenly, the words had disappeared, and the page showed only the drawn Shinji and hearts.

The page after that didn't have Shinji on it at all. It was covered in hearts, and in the center was one word: _Love_. The Coralian flipped the page once more. This time there weren't multiple hearts. Instead, drawn across both pages was one large heart, and in the middle were the words: _Shinji and I became one._

The Coralians stopped here. Shinji had tears in his eyes. He sniffed, and wiped them off. Then he said, "You can't have it." The girl looked up at him. She looked like Rei, and yet so unlike her. It was her eyes: they were the color of lavender and so unlike Rei's. Shinji explained, "Rei's heart belongs to me. I won't let you keep it." Shinji held out his to take the book back.

The Coralians seemed stunned. The girl looked toward the end of the train, where the boy and girl sat, smiling back at her. Then she looked back at Shinji. She nodded. The Coralians handed him back the book, and Shinji took it. He was about to give it back to Rei, when he felt his hands being squeezed.

Rei was looking into his eyes with pools of love welling up inside her. She said, her voice shaking with affection and longing, "Let's go home." The collar unlocked and fell from her neck.

Shinji barely noticed that their surroundings had disappeared, and that now they were standing together on the shore of a vast ocean. Shinji nodded, and answered Rei, "Let's go, together."

A voice sounded around them, but Shinji couldn't tell if it was the boy, the girl, or the Coralians speaking. It might have been all three.

"_You two are the beginning. You have proven to us that is better to experience pain in the hope of living together in happiness. Love has given you wings. Go. And we will follow: to make heaven with you."_


	21. Chapter 26

**Epilogue**

It was the tenth day of the first month of the hundred and third year of the fourth age of humanity: 0_1/07/105/4 _by the Vodarac Calender. At the United Federations International building, formerly the 1st branch of Gehirn, the testimony of Captain Dewey Renton Novak III and Captain Asuka Langley Soryu was concluding.

A large panel of elderly gentlemen sat next to each other across a raised table. The room might have been a court, or a Chamber of some Government entity. It was filled with news cameras, press, military officials, and a significant number of Vodarac clergy.

The man seated at the center of the panel spoke. "Is there anything you would like to add? Anything that this court should be made aware of, Captain?"

Dewey stood when addressed. "No, Overseer." He sat.

The old man eyed him dangerously, but nodded. The court officer raised is voice: "All rise." Everyone in the room rose to their feet, including Asuka, who was by Dewey's side. The handcuffs upon their wrists and ankles were now completely visible.

"The final verdict of this International Investigation Committee, in the matter of the illegal Organizations, Seele and Nerve, respectively, concerning one Captain Novak and one Captain Soryu: on the charge of treason, unanimously, we find the defendants: Guilty as charged. We here by sentence them to time already served. . ."

The rest of the verdict couldn't be heard over the uproar made by the throngs of onlookers. Afterwards, Dewey and Asuka were ushered out of the room, followed by the Vodarac priests.

* * *

Three months later, hundreds of miles away, outside the metropolis of Ciudades del Cielo, Shinji Ikari stood in the midst of endless rows and columns of graves. He was dusting off his suit after laying the last of his flowers in front of a grave.

_Misato Katsuragi_

_71/04-101/04_

Flowers lay on over twenty graves in the same row as this. Shinji could see the names of some.

_Ryoji Kaji_

_71/04-101/04_

_Ritsuko Akagi_

_71/04-101/04_

_Maya Ibuki_

_77/04-101/04_

_Makoto Hyuga_

_74/04-101/04_

_Shigeru Aoba_

_75/04-101/04_

"I guess that's all I can do for you now." Shinji began to walk away, back toward his car. "I hope you all like the flowers." They had blue petals and white stems.

He drove back to his apartment, and, as he did each year, he began to think of all that had past since he received that letter from his father, about five years ago. He couldn't believe he was living a 'normal' life after all that.

He made his way up the elevator, back to Misato's old apartment, where he now lived. Someone was sitting by his door. Shinji scratched his back, and felt under his suit jacket for his gun, tucked in the back of his pants. He stopped a few steps from the door. He looked down and saw that the reposed man had a rucksack and was wearing camouflage scrubs. He put his hands back at his sides.

"Is that anyway to greet a friend?"

"No," Shinji agreed. "Not a friend." He held out his hand to help Dewey up.

"Thank you," Dewey said as he picked up his ruck sack. "I thought you'd be home. Guess I forgot that it was the anniversary." Shinji walked passed him to open the door, and Dewey followed him in. "I'm sorry," Dewey noticed that he had offended his friend in some way– or, he just caught himself miss-speaking. "I just meant that it took a while to get here, and I lost track of the days."

"Where's Asuka?" Shinji asked, taking out a couple of beers, and passing one to Dewey.

"She got tired of waiting." Dewey looked around the apartment, but his expression was inscrutable. "Why did you stay?"

"Why did you leave?"

Dewey smiled. "Asuka's from Warszawa. It all worked out for the best."

"What's been happening?" Shinji asked urgently.

"No, you first," Dewey insisted. The two stared each other down. Shinji sighed heavily, and downed the rest of the beer.

He took a breathe and began. "I don't know what you know, but here's why we stayed. When Orange hit Nerv, it destroyed the rest of the U.F. fleet. After we got out of the Pit, and I saw what was left of Unit-02, I thought. . .I didn't know you and Asuka were alive till I saw the Investigation on TV. In all the aftermath and confusion– and the U.F.'s death grip on the Republic gone– the Vodarac's cut all diplomatic relations with the other nations of the United Federations. The Republic's now a safe haven for the humanoid Coralians. The Coralians: they split apart and–"

"I know," Dewey smiled. "They've been found everywhere– not just in the Republic. All over the Earth: that's what launched the Investigation. Public outrage, y'know? They all love the Coralians. Ironic, huh?"

"Your turn," Shinji insisted.

Dewey nodded. "Well. . .Asuka and I walked. We walked right of Ciudades del Cielo. We slept on a hill, and stole food. After a few days, we were picked up by a black sudan."

"Nerv security!" Shinji couldn't believe it.

"Not quite."

Dewey went on to explain that Vice Commander Fuyutsuki– now, just Prof. Fuyutsuki, again– was sent away from Nerv HQ on orders: Gendo Ikari's orders. With him was every document from, about, or pertaining to Nerv over the past ten years. He had everything needed to take Seele down. The countries that Seele had set up nearly one hundred years before were self-sufficient– and Fuyutsuki had dirt on them as well, supplied of course, by Gendo Ikari.

The countries sold their makers down the river, but not for nothing. Fuyutsuki had one last bargaining chip: the theory, the plans, and all the backdoor codes for the Magi system. The full system was destroyed along with Nerv, but the bones– the prototype– resided in Warszawa. It could be rebuilt.

And so, co-operating with the Professor, Dewey and Asuka testified. They were acquitted of all charges, save treason, and were sentenced with time already served. In order to avoid any hostility, or assassination attempts by some unknown, still living faction of Seele, they were both sent to the Vodarac Republic because, like Rei, it was the only safe place for them: a haven.

The second Dewy had finished, there was a knock at the door, then a yell. "I'm coming in, stupid Shinji!"

"Oh, I forgot to mention," Dewey said, but there was no need. Asuka rounded the corner, but before Shinji could greet her he was struck dumb.

"Who's that?" Launching out from behind Asuka, came a small boy with silver hair and red eyes. Dewey picked him up and brought him over to meet Shinji.

"Don't talk like he's not here," Dewey scolded Shinji, once again. "Ask him."

Shinji gave in. "What's you name?"

The boy had the same confidence as his father. Without skipping a beat, he extended his hand and said, "Kaworu Nagisa." Shinji shook his hand, and looked questioningly at Asuka.

"He was the first humanoid Coralian found after Third Impact. Prof. Fuyutsuki asked if we would look after him. He could talk by the time we met him, and somehow knew his own name."

"Mama can't have children of her own," the silver haired boy said brazenly.

"Kaworu," Dewey scolded.

"It's okay, Dewey." Asuka's hands were across her abdomen, and she spoke to Shinji. "The stress from piloting."

The silver haired boy had climbed down off his father's arm, and hugged Asuka's knees. "Don't be sad, Mama."

Asuka smiled and picked him up. "I'm not sad, honey."

Kaworu looked at Shinji. "I said I would be Mama's child."

"That was very good of you," Shinji complimented, shaking Kaworu's hand. The door bell rang. "And I think," Shinji said as he went to answer it, "I have a present for you."

Kaworu climbed down once again, and followed Shinji to the door. Asuka and Dewey were right behind them, watching the scene with joy in their hearts.

"Shinji, we're hom–Oh!" Rei put down her bag, exclaiming when she saw Kaworu standing confidently beside Shinji. "And who may I ask are you?"

"I'm Kaworu Nagisa," the boy held out his arm, "I'm their son," he pointed with his free hand back to Asuka and Dewey. "Pleased to meet you." Rei shook his hand and smiled, but the boy was no longer paying attention. He was peering passed Rei, trying to catch a glimpse of the elusive, small creature behind her.

"I have a friend I'd like you to meet," Shinji said. "Kaworu, this is Yui Ikari: my daughter." The girl peeked out from behind her mother's legs, but shot back into hiding almost immediately.

For a few seconds, the four former pilots watched the game of tag between the two kids. Kaworu ran behind Rei, but Yui had already retreated to her front. When Kaworu pursued further, Yui was already behind Shinji. Back and forth they went till Kaworu finally caught Yui by the hand.

Kaworu took a good look at her. Yui was the spitting image of her grandmother and mother. She had short, brown hair with white skin. But the most striking thing was her eyes: one was lavender but the other was blue. As Kaworu stared into those eyes, Yui tried to throw him off, looking pleading up at all the grow-ups, as if to say: _"Why won't you help?"_

Then Kaworu turned Yui around, grabbing her arm with his other hand, and made her shake. "I'm Kaworu Nagisa. You can call me Kaworu." Yui shook willingly, and Kaworu let her go.

"I'm Yui Ikari." Yui finally looked Kaworu in the eyes.

"Can I call you Yui?" She nodded, embarrassed. "You have pretty eyes." Yui stood still for a moment, swaying on the spot. Suddenly, she darted back to her papa, and Shinji agreed to pick her up.

"Say 'thank you'," Shinji whispered. Yui buried her face into Shinji hair.

Rei walked over to Dewey and Asuka, leading them into the kitchen. Kaworu stayed rooted to the spot. "Yui," Rei spoke to her daughter. "Do you want to show Kaworu the family room while mama and papa talk to Aunt Asuka and Uncle Dewey?"

"Aunt and Uncle?" Yui looked apprehensively at her mama. Rei nodded. The knowledge that the strangers were family seemed to ease Yui's nerves. Shinji let her down. Yui walked over to Kaworu. They stood looking at each other for a few seconds, neither knowing exactly what they were feeling about the other.

Yui smiled. "Come one," she said, as she pulled Kaworu along by the hand.


End file.
